What helps?

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Now that we've had some time to think about this & discuss it, let's start creating a plan to help.  Let's try and make a list that we can refer to & refer others to.  Here's my question:

What helps? 

Not just what helps you stop daydreaming.  This is a condition we need to learn to live with. 

What helps in any way possible?  Interpret that in every way possible, and be as specific as possible. 

Some ways you can think of it:

What helps make your life better?

What helps you feel like you’re living a more fulfilling life?

What helps you feel like you’re in control?

What helps you daydream less & what helps you daydream more?

What makes your daydreams more productive?

What makes your daydreams feel less productive?

When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged?

What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish?

What helps you feel stronger?

What helps you feel safer?

What helps you feel more confident?

Let’s act like we’re compiling a list of things to tell new people who’re just figuring out they’re going through this & are not sure what to do.  What advice would you give them to help them feel more empowered?

[Becca]

Are you relaxed in your night dreams? Or are they just as stressful?

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

I can't meditate.  My brain is too busy and active.  It's constantly buzzing.  Trust me.  I'm 31 and tried everything.  If it worked, I'd know by now.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

They're mostly stressful.  Why?

[Mel BabyDollieDeath D]

I can't believe how much I relate to your reply. I don't even have to type my own reply to this discussion with what I would have written. You've done it for me. Precisely said Billie Goat. :)

 

P.S: I just realized now how long ago you posted this! =O I'm wondering ... Does this still apply to you nowadays? 

 

Billie Goat said:

1. What helps make your life better?
2. What helps you feel like you're living a more fulfilling life?
3. What helps you feel like you're in control?
4. What helps you daydream less&what helps you daydream more?
5. What makes your daydreams feel less productive?
6. What makes your daydreams fell more productive?
7. When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged?
8. What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish?
9. What helps you fell safer?
10. What helps you feel more confident?


1. I don't have a job or go to college or drive so I'm am usually sitting at home alone (I have two siblings that are here for most of the day but they isolate themselves in there rooms for the most part) so when a friend calls/text asking to hang out or just talk I feel that this small interaction with other people makes my life a fraction better then what it was with out it.
2. When I start a project that could end up actually getting me a job. Such as knitting, making things out of empty pop cans, or writing down one of my fantasies in an attempt to make it a novel.
3. I'm not sure I ever really feel in control.
4. When I'm at DnD or just hanging with a friend I find myself daydreaming less( though I don't stop completely). I daydream more when there is a problem I'm trying to work out. I'll make little scenarios of what would happen if I go with one option or the other and pick accordingly.
5. When my daydreams take a supernatural turn. One of my fantasies actual involve being transported to another reality where vampires and magic is real.
6. When I leave out the supernatural and come up with something that could actually happen in the near future or even a little further down the road. Like when I visualize my finished project, or appearing on a talk show for being the youngest fashion designer or having just published a best selling novel.
7. When a daydream end with me being rich and famous is when I feel on top of the world and end up being a noticeably happier.
8. When I realize that it is just a dream and can't really happen. Like my dream of someday gaining the power to control the elements and becoming a superhero.
9. It's the supernatural dreams that make me feel safer. I'll come out with an open mind and think "Yah, why can't I..." and forget about all my troubles for a little while.
10. I'm never confident.

[Becca]

Well, lately I've been night dreaming about my daydreams, but whereas I can control my DD's I can't control my ND's and everything in my ND's goes wrong and makes me really stressed out. This has only been happening the last few days and I usually don't ND about my DD. Usually I ND about people that I know in real life and it's kinda relaxing. I just wanted to know if you were relaxed in your ND's or if your NDs were different from your DDs. 

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

They're mostly stressful.  Why?

[McNamara]

What helps make your life better?

• Order, peace, quiet, calm, taking action.

What helps you feel like you’re living a more fulfilling life?

• Doing a great job at work, receiving a loving comment from my husband or sisters, helping at charity events.

What helps you feel like you’re in control?

• Financial stability (on the rare occasions I have this!), feeling organised, completing a project, having the discipline to do something like work out, eat well, begin a project, research new information, receive good feedback at work.

What helps you daydream less & what helps you daydream more?

• Feeling fulfilled in my real life helps me daydream less.  Also scolding myself about MDD, although this also makes me feel awful.  'New material' or a new idea about my character or her love interest, travel brochures, TV, music, YouTube - nearly ANYTHING makes me wan to daydream more!

What makes your daydreams more productive?

• If I go back to reality work feeling happy or excited.

What makes your daydreams feel less productive?

• Not feeling 'inspired' enough to have a really good day dream, which is unusual though.

When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged?

• When something exciting happens to my character.

What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish?

• If I've MDD for a long time, if I haven't done my real life stuff because I've been MDDing.

What helps you feel stronger?

• Knowing I'm not the only one.  Also when I'm able to incorporate MDD stuff into my life and make my real life more like the MDD one.

What helps you feel safer?

• Honestly - knowing I'm not the only one.  This site.  If I've been able to go a day or so without MDD.

What helps you feel more confident?

• Doing a good job of being a wife, sister, aunt, worker, friend, citizen, humanist.

[Cristy Vite]

this are the answers for me for this questions:

1.- trying to help this problem with a good attitud and trying to think positive and don't blame myself for it, because when i think about this as a big problem that has no solution i tend to sleep all day and get depressed.

2.-being surrounded by friends and people who cares about me and hang out with them, help other people and going to church and pray, be with my family and help with stuff in my house.

3.- when i try to focus in real life and try to catch me daydreaming and try to stop, i can't do it all the time but when i am aware of my thoughts is easier to do it than when i am uncouncious.

4.-like i said trying to focus in real life and real activities and just get ocuppied in things that i have to concentrate and hang out with friends, and what makes me daydream more is having that attitud of not start thinking and just let my mind do whatever she wants to do (that's when i tend to daydream more).

5.-when my daydreams tend to be about real things, not about being an artist or famous or being a supernatural hero or something thats more fantastic than real, for example when i daydream about my mom being married (because she has a boyfriend in real life) or about a party and the guests that's when i think it's more productive even though i now it's a dream not a thought.

6.- when they are about supernatural things or about things that can't really happen.

7.-for me i don't know, i can't find anything good about daydreaming in excess because when i do it for a long time i tend to blame myself and i don't feel "charged"in any way.

8.- when i start to daydream and think "just a bit more" , because i know i can stop but i don't want to, and when the dream is about a negative situation it makes me feel anguish and fearfull that it may occur in real life.

9.-and being with a good and positive attitude. (think positive).

10.-knowing that god is with me and think that he has control about the situation and he won't let me drown more even though somethimes i doubt about it, but i prefer to think this way than a negative way.

11.- when i think this is only a phase and i'm going to get better if i try to focus in real life and get sorrounded with real people and get a real life.

i hope it helps. =)

 

 

 

[Rachel S]

I know this sounds really simple but for me, what helps is when I think to myself "It's OK that you do it."

Because I had that mental battle everyday where I'd have the whole angst of feeling "You shouldn't be doing this." It's not something to be ashamed about, it's just unproductive. That's all.

[Rachel S]

I know this sounds really simple but for me, what helps is when I think to myself "It's OK that you do it."

Because I had that mental battle everyday where I'd have the whole angst of feeling "You shouldn't be doing this." It's not something to be ashamed about, it's just unproductive. That's all.

[roxanne]

What helps me is thinking of it as reading a book, or watching a movie.

[Rashomon Effect]

I just found this site today.

I have a stop watch feature on my watch and decided to start the timer each time I noticed my daydreaming start. The interruption to my daydream along with the awareness that I would have some level of accountability for the time spent daydreaming immediately stops the session.

 

 

[Sarah E Rosenthal]

Hi All,

This is my first post on Wild Minds. I'm so grateful to have found you all!

My daydreaming is both a psychological habit that I use to fulfill personal needs  as well a symptom of a psychiatric disorder that I need to take medicine for. Here is a little of my story.id

My excessive daydreaming started when I was 11. At the time, life was difficult and I simultaneously learned to isolate myself in my room and fantasize. I first sought help at the age of 14 but noone took it seriously that I was daydreaming and pacing for hours and hours a day until I was 21 or 22. By that time I had been diagnosed as bipolay.

Finally, a psychiatrist realized that just behavior modification alone didn't stop my daydreaming. He suggested an antipsychotic, and for the first time in more than a decade I could do an activity for half an hour without needing to daydream. I felt like the constant pull into a daydream that I could never resist, no matter where I was, was weakened incredibly. I was able to do many activities I couldn't before because I could step away from daydreaming more easily for periods of time. When the daydreams did pull at me while I was in public, it was easier to refocus and come back down to reality.

My diagnosis was changed to schizoaffective because I have both Bipolar symptoms and daydreaming symptoms. My excessive daydreaming, often combined with pacing, hand movements, or vocal noises/mouthing words is considered to be a psychotic symptom by my psychiatrist. However, I don't have "traditional" psychosis in that I don't hear any voices, and I always know that my fantasies are not real.

HOWEVER, the daydreaming didn't by any means stop completely with medication. And even with the medication, I knew that I daydreamed more when I was stressed or my mood was off. So my psychiatrist encouraged me to continue to look for behavioral ways to daydream less. I have found a number of things that help. I definately find it easier to focus on reality around other people, so just filling my schedule helps. Anything to destress myself definately helps (meditation, a shower, you name it). And working on my emotional issues with a counselor, especially on my difficulties with real interpersonal relationships helps overall. The strangest thing is that I began a 12-step program and when I am doing well with that I seem to fantasize less.

My psychiatrist has suggested that my daydreaming behaviors are a combination of both psychological factors (like a need to escape) and psychotic tendencies that are more biological, and that is the view that makes the most sense to me today. I DO NOT believe that daydreaming is a psychotic symptom or a psychiatric symptom for everyone. I think maybe for some people its a psychologial habit, some people its a psychiatric symptom, and other people (like me) its a combination of both.

 

Thanks for letting me share, I look forward to reading all of the advice you guys have to share as I spend more time on the site! Thanks

[Pseudo Life]

Daydream is so mesmerizing, addictive, and satisfying for me.  But I also no too much may mean I'm avoiding dealing with other feelings like depression and anxiety.  So I don't lose touch I do several things.

I try very hard not to daydream around my children and grandchildren.  I want to be present, so the rule is no daydreaming. 

 

look at what leads up to maladaptive daydreaming (is that a word).  Write them down.  Keep a log of these triggers every day.  Keep a log of self-care, like walking, laughing, doing work, .... and maybe even some daydreaming . .  . and do it every day.   I am retired and yes I still daydream.  I find if I hibernate for more than two days, things start to go south.  If I am alone for a weekend, I give myself a day and night of daydreaming, but then require myself to go out. Get out of the house. Walk the dog. Read. Go to a meeting.  Even if every ounce of my being wants to sink back into the pleasures of daydreaming.

 

Try to figure out how to feed your spiritual self without the daydream.  This is the hardest thing for me and what I am working on right now.