Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

I'm pretty tired, so if I word this in a strange way, I apologize.  If you would like for me to elaborate, I can. 

I'm hoping maybe someone can relate to me in this subject, only because I have done this on plenty of occasions, and it's one of the most frustrating (and sometimes even tormenting,) aspects of my MDD symptoms.

I am able to project a DD character into 'reality' (not physically, of course, it's all in the imagination.) Normally, it's a character who I can consider a friend or younger sibling, usually when I'm out for a walk, so I don't feel completely alone. Even sometimes at work (I walk a lot at work,) most of the time, I can have someone with me, projected, talking and interacting with them within my mind. I guess it makes work a whole lot less boring...

Sometimes, though, I end up projecting an intimidating character from a show or my own imagination, somewhere near me, i.e, half-hidden by a tree, or a street lamp - I unintentionally project the character there. It's disturbing enough to even imagine a stranger, just in sight and around the corner, but imagine a character that completely intimidates you standing in that place. I honestly don't know if it makes it better or worse, really. There isn't really any way to confront that situation in the real world  with a real person, and for it to be from your own mind...still, the question - better or worse? 

I normally just walk by, look the other way (nervously, of course,) - Internally, I'm saying 'nononono, go away.' Or try to confront them within my own DD - that normally does not turn out well.

I just walk right by, and the projection fades as my anxiety quells. I sometimes even feel eyes bore into me as if there were a real living being there. It is an extremely uncomfortable experience.

I theorize that this may be my brain's way of coming up with a solution to avoiding and/or confronting real danger, but it's not working, and it's very unsettling.

I'd like to know if there's a way to stop it (I've tried ignoring it completely, and tried to wipe my mind's eye of the projection, but that takes a lot of concentration and a few swear words of frustration.) But the threatening presence is strong, within my mind, and when it projects itself into reality.  I  feel that making a character that could defend me would further feed into the MDD, and will lead me further into other DDs when I really shouldn't be (i.e, walking to work, or working even,when I should really be focusing on my surroundings,) but, maybe as a temporary solution, that's all I can think of.

I would like to know if any of you experience such a thing.

I really hope I'm not alone when it comes to this one; Can I finally consider myself completely crazy then?

Note: I have OCD, this could be an important factor of why some of my DDs can cause some level of anxiety in reality, instead of a normal, happy, fun, comfortable escape from reality. Sometimes, my intrusive thoughts involve my DD characters.

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I think I did this as a kid. In my case my fear for imaginary characters was also imaginary. Like I would avoid the places i imagined to be bad creatures, but I knew there wasn't anyone there and I wasn't actually afraid. I just sort of pretended to be. I played along with my own fantasies.

I also liked to have someone or something walking besides me where I could interact with whene I was young. I remember imagining an electric being of lightning that could surf on electric/telephone wires and that character would follow me while I was in the backseat of a car driving. I would follow the wires that wooshed past with my eyes and the being would follow me and smile at me. Playfull imagination it was.

As a kid I was just used to play and pretend I guess. I stopped it and I have had no trouble with it in my teenage and adult life.

This is interesting, it's basically the opposite of what I do. I usually 'clone' real people into my daydreams instead, and then assign them stories, appearances and personalities only remotely related to their originals.

This has devastating effects: progressive corruption of memories, distorted perception, influenced thoughts, feelings and actions, fast-forwarding (realizing I've been DDing for an hour instead of a minute), and loss of recognition to the real people my characters are based on, including myself.

Does any of that happen to you or am I the only degenerative daydreamer around here?

I do this all the time, without even planning to. It was a lot worse a few years ago, but it still happens.
When it comes to the intimidating/unwanted characters popping up, I usually deal with it by reminding myself that I'm not currently in a daydream---whatever they're doing, it can't hurt me, because the waking world is mine, not theirs.
It doesn't always work, unfortunately, but it does give me something to focus on instead of giving in to the anxiety.

This happens with me all the time too! The only difference for me is, I can control when they show up. It only happens when I am really bored, they help me get through my day.

That sound interesting...and a tad frightening. 

When I DD about RL people, it usually has a negative outcome (due to intrusive thoughts fueling a nightmarish part of my imagination.)  Sadly, I do not share the same experience that you do, but I'm more than willing to understand it.

I feel that maybe you're more grounded to reality...maybe that's why you may incorporate RL people into your daydreams, instead of the usual made up personas/characters(?) (Not implying that you don't have the 'common' DD experiences.) I believe maybe your mind is becoming a bit confused. I'm just throwing random stuff out there, but have you tried any grounding techniques (stuff like reality checks & meditation, etc.)

I dunno, I'd like to help you out. c:

Source said:

This is interesting, it's basically the opposite of what I do. I usually 'clone' real people into my daydreams instead, and then assign them stories, appearances and personalities only remotely related to their originals.

This has devastating effects: progressive corruption of memories, distorted perception, influenced thoughts, feelings and actions, fast-forwarding (realizing I've been DDing for an hour instead of a minute), and loss of recognition to the real people my characters are based on, including myself.

Does any of that happen to you or am I the only degenerative daydreamer around here?

I literally have to feel my feet on the ground and feel myself breathing as I walk just to stop my brain from the distracting DD'ing. :l  I can't believe it takes all of that concentration.

Andie S. said:

I do this all the time, without even planning to. It was a lot worse a few years ago, but it still happens.
When it comes to the intimidating/unwanted characters popping up, I usually deal with it by reminding myself that I'm not currently in a daydream---whatever they're doing, it can't hurt me, because the waking world is mine, not theirs.
It doesn't always work, unfortunately, but it does give me something to focus on instead of giving in to the anxiety.

Thanks for the reply. I'll keep that in mind. :3

Girl who dreams said:

You are definitely not crazy.

Just high level of imagination.

I dont have that kind of imagination,but feel free to PM if you need to talk,and describe what your characters do.

And its pretty normal to feel anxious in that situation ,cuz u project ur characters near u and once there are gone its okay to feel anxious :)

And well u probably imagine ur characters near u ,cuz u find it best coping mechanism. We all find our best coping mechanism,thats why there are varieties of the way we daydream.

Also feel free to join us in chatting room :)

I did this on a handful of occasions when I was younger, mostly involving me feeling awkward, lonely, and/or socially anxious. It was an unconventional, yet effective coping technique that made an unsettling circumstance, tolerable at minimum. Those thoughts were never intrusive however & didn't last long. I haven't engaged in that type of DD in a long time. I can't bring my DD characters into my reality because it corrupts the experience. I'm not my ideal self as I am in my daydreams and I fear my characters wouldn't like RL me. Crossing those two worlds to me now feels wrong somehow.

I definitely feel the same. :l

OhMyMagenta said:

I did this on a handful of occasions when I was younger, mostly involving me feeling awkward, lonely, and/or socially anxious. It was an unconventional, yet effective coping technique that made an unsettling circumstance, tolerable at minimum. Those thoughts were never intrusive however & didn't last long. I haven't engaged in that type of DD in a long time. I can't bring my DD characters into my reality because it corrupts the experience. I'm not my ideal self as I am in my daydreams and I fear my characters wouldn't like RL me. Crossing those two worlds to me now feels wrong somehow.

Yeah, I did that sometimes, when I was bored. When I was a kid I would imagine my daydream characters in the classroom with me (at one point I would intentionally sit alone so my imaginary twin sister could sit next to me), or imagine a character running alongside the car and jumping over obstacles. I don't do this so much now though.

Yeah, I do this constantly. People I already know always take center stage when I DD, with only a minimum of made-up characters. It's usually my ex boyfriends or other people who could potentially admire me, and what they do and who they are is there to confirm me in some way.

And I get the same problems as you; it distorts my past and makes me confused on what to expect from other people in my life. It's a shame since what I want the most, is to have lived an awesome life with lots of memories; but I get too excited and distort them. I have found myself lying to other people without really knowing it, because all that's on my mind is fabricated.

But it's not all bleak. At least my daydreams are so everyday like(the personalities of me and the others are what's most important, not some supernatural plot) - it's easier to make those dreams reality than someone who dreams about anime, or living in a different world. I have experienced myself becoming this awesome person many times before when my social anxiety disappeared, and if expriences like these are all I really want from life, then maybe I'll get out of this mess and live a happy fulfilled life in the real world. Someday. 

On another positive note. when I try to fabricate lead characters myself, I always find it immensely boring and stop DDing. And I guess that would be a great idea to reduce my DDing even further. I could just force myself to DD about characters I made up, then getting bored, and moving on with my life. It won't be a cure for sure, but it would be something, and it takes minimal effort.


Source said:

This is interesting, it's basically the opposite of what I do. I usually 'clone' real people into my daydreams instead, and then assign them stories, appearances and personalities only remotely related to their originals.

This has devastating effects: progressive corruption of memories, distorted perception, influenced thoughts, feelings and actions, fast-forwarding (realizing I've been DDing for an hour instead of a minute), and loss of recognition to the real people my characters are based on, including myself.

Does any of that happen to you or am I the only degenerative daydreamer around here?

I used to have problems with this one daydream character from when I was 10 to when I was 11. He was the evil identical twin brother of my imaginary best friend, Zach. He had no name; my imaginary friends and I just called him "Zach's Evil Twin." He would pretend to be Zach and then say insulting things to me to mess with my head. Eventually, I invented a way to tell Zach and his evil twin apart, but then the thing happened like you said where he kept popping up in unwanted places. So, I imagined that my friends and I used powerful magic to lock him up in an inescapable dungeon. (My daydreams usually do not involve magic, but sometimes can when the situation is desperate.) Whenever I catch myself thinking about him or start seeing him in my daydream, I remind myself that he's in the dungeon and the image of him just vanishes.

I hope this helps.

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