My life needs work...

[Jessica Ballantyne]

We all think MD is tell us things will get better. If that were the case, things would've got better already. I fell behind in life, as you'd expect, coming from someone who was a dreamer. I really should've broke this news to my family immediately, when it started happening. It made me feel warm and glowing with happiness at first—but then it practically ruined me. Today I have no career, no friends, no relationships, no house...I'm rock bottom. My mom thinks I deserve it. My dad thinks I can still do better. Next year is my 20th high school anniversary, but I probably won't go, because this is just incredibly mortifying. I had a job, but the pandemic took it away, and I've been distressingly job hunting for a year now. I'm not depressed or anxious...I'm just feel like a fool. I learned so much after an entirety of 23 years of MD. Thing is I can't stop the dreaming altogether, it's just a part of me and nobody understands that. In fact, the thought of their reactions towards me still gives me gag reflexes. Anyway, this was bound to happen, and I guess that I deserve it. It was a stupid to do. I hope the rest of you are doing so much better.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

People bully me because I'm Quiet and Submissive, and I don't think, react and behaviour accordingly to what's socially acceptable. It gives them the pleasure to target me, to get whatever insecurities weighing on them, off their shoulders. Quite sick, inconsiderate and selfish as it might sound. I've even upset and angered people who aren't bullies, when it comes to lack of listening and talking. I drove my best friend crazy a few times. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I think MD effected my growth and development. I still depend on my family. I'm urgently trying to find work, but it's getting tougher. I'm starting to blame it on my fantasies. 

[Valeria Franco]

Certainly, you didn't "deserve" that, things just happen.

MD is not something we choose to do or not to do; if that were the case, things would've got better already. And we wouldn't all be here to talk about it.

It's hard to stop, and our life goes wasted and then it's even harder. You need to break the circle, somewhere.

I think that's easier to break it by improving our life than trying to stop the fantasies. And in your case, your life would improve if you stopped being so hard on yourself. Be compassionate: you're not a fool, you don't deserve it. 
Next step: understanding you deserve a place in life. Job, friends, anything.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Well I do deserve them, but I didn't do the work. I didn't get out of my cocoon and make myself visible, and approach others. I sucked myself into MD for years, and it kept me staying at home. I do remember people getting all cringed up and commenting on my absent mindedness and major listening problem. I didn't make any friends, because I was this dead-pan person who didn't talk and was timid around others. 

I stopped doing MD, because it costed me my life in a way. It changed my relationship with my mother. I didn't get out there, didn't go back to school, simply just worked. Didn't get very far. Now my health needs attention. 

Now that I'm well awake and aware of what's going on, I can do something about it. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I used to feel safe and assured with my MD in my 20's. I believed in what it was telling me. What shakes me up is it wasn't promising me life will get better and happier. I was just walking around in a big daydream state. Simply putting this, it was lying to my face. Also, I wasn't adapting myself into the world, and life is just getting harder—and I'm getting older.