I constantly freeze

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I stopped being active with maladaptive daydreaming years back. I have crucial responsibilities, try to stay away and concentrate, but notice that I suddenly wonder off and my eyes go dazed for a minute or so. This happens when I'm chill and during an stress-free time. Family and friends have made remarks that I look like my mind is somewhere else. I'm not sure though, it's more like I zone out. I'm trying to seek employment, but so afraid that when I start a new gig, someone will notice my eyes! Maybe even my frozen state. Unless the job is remote. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I see, so you live with people who aren't so smart as you are, therefore they like easy talk. My family is smart in their own ways, and my sister is brilliant. I'm smart too, but not in a verbally expressive way. I'm truly a smart person at heart, but I don't verbally prove it—like I'm a very quiet and socially awkward person. It has mislead people to think that I'm so stupid and don't talk. They didn't want to be friends with me. They just found me boring, unfriendly, and dumb-looking. So this being said, it just made me want to daydream, because my fictional friends were all I had left. But then, everyone just found me too weird for words, just living in other worlds, talking to air, and giggling for nothing. Didn't feel so great being around me. There was a time, where I thought I could pretend to be a normal and socially acceptable person, but even that didn't work. I do have Asperger syndrome, which also makes people think you're not behaving the way socially inclined people should. So I gave up, and went my own way in life. 

[Mina]

"so you live with people who aren't so smart as you are"

i wouldn't put this way think we are just not compatible on how we think

everyone just found me too weird for words, just living in other worlds, talking to air, and giggling for nothing

i have that too ... people thin i am crazy one of my friends caught me and said stop that people would think that are you crazy

I do have Asperger syndrome

i think i am too i not professionally diagnosed but i did the test online and i think i am on this spectrum

when some one say to be that he had difficult day for example i would be lost not know how to respond deep down i don't know how respond and i begin analyzing does he want me to companion or does he want me to ask question so he can tell me what happen to him and i understand it's coping mechanism i myself sometimes just do that it's just i don't know what people want and i was trying experimenting too and i always fail miserably and turn it to the most awkward  situation i have talent  for that

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Yeah, I also have trouble reading emotions and body gestures, or understanding how they'd want me to react to their statement. I've pissed people off this way. Asperger syndrome sucks. 

[Mina]

i think that just people don't need to make the assumption if people just more honest about what they want it would more easier for me

for me i don't think it's necessarily  a problem i like my way of thinking sometimes and sometimes i feel that i am more practical  however i am trying to learn how to blend in because not all people would understand that and sometime i would need to blend in to a point

[Mina]

beside they think me being nerdy is the cause of my MD and that's not true so they always shut me down when i am trying to talk about something in a nerdy way or in me details and always say "your way of thinking is what made you like that" and i agree that i have mental problem but it's not the problems they talking about

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Your family sounds rude, and ignorant of your needs and feelings, and how your mind works. They think MD is the reason you are smart? Smart people dream to create the wildest ideas in their head and come up with creative solutions. That isn't particularly a mental problem. 

[Mina]

"Your family sounds rude, and ignorant of your needs and feelings,and how your mind works"

i think they are just don't know how my mind you see my dad his dad was beating him up not only him his brothers too he didn't do the same thing with us but what i am trying to sy is he didn't understand he didn't know how to be parent but he did what he could i don't' want to blame him although of course the way my family is treating me is harmful for me i can't tell you how many time i doubted my self and maybe until now

" They think MD is the reason you are smart?"

i don't see myself smart to be honest i think i am very stupid i made a lot of mistakes that i regret i don't take care of myself or my health i don't maybe i am subconsciously want to punish myself for some reason it's like i am angry at myself if i was smart i would have noticed earlier i would made more aggressive solution ... i would have solved my problem

[Mina]

i think my family has mental issues but they don't know

[Jessica Ballantyne]

That's too bad Mina. Maybe you can talk to someone who will actually listen. 

[Mina]

i have a friend who can see some of aspect of me but i don't think i have someone at least in the mean time who can listen to me unhinged if you know what i mean always there is some filter that should be put

[Jessica Ballantyne]

The feeling is mutual. I feel like there's nobody around to listen to me, or understand how I feel about everything—maybe except for my dad. Like I'm kind of living in a wall. I often wonder if anybody even knows that I exist—that I'm there. I think it's because I'm not approachable and don't express myself, so people shrug and take off, or wonder why the hell I'm so quiet. Reason could be that I dwell in my head a lot. 

[Mina]

yes although i can be very talkative to a point that i myself could be surprised of myself i think i am depending if someone approached me or try to talk to me i would open up but i am very boring guy to talk too and people got bored easily people want the exciting man who has a lot of adventure and stories and i am far  far from that