Where wild minds come to rest
Okay so, I am a regular daydreamer, I daydream everyday usually about the same thing, however I created a new daydream world (for the lack of better term) and it makes me feel guilty, I don’t know why, but it’s a nauseating feeling. I don’t know what to do, or why this is happening, can someone please help?
I feel guilty when I start new daydreams as it feels like I'm abandoning the old characters. Its like leaving friends behind and a very hard feeling to explain.
I feel guilty if I ever start new daydreaming, because I did it for many years to an extent that it made my head so tired, and actually hurt. I wanted something so bad when I was young. A relationship. I'd sit for a couple hours a day, staring off in the distance, thinking hard about it. It never came true anyway. So now I'm kicking myself for not being mentally productive in a very practical way. You can't always get what you want it reality. It turns out, I had trouble finding a relationship with anybody, because I had Autism Spectrum Disorder. Before I got diagnosed, I always wondered why everyone else can wing it so easily with getting together with all these boys and girls, and yet I such a very difficult time that others literally felt sad for me. In fact, I can't count how many times just about everybody made fun of me, because to them, I looked like a big loser. I have to put it out, I am described as a good looking woman (even beautiful), but when you have *Autism* it makes all the difference in the world. Apparently, the condition makes you look stupid and awkward. I'm used to getting my heart broken quite a bit and I'm quite the survivor. I've met some people who said, "poor girl, look at her." They don't realize I'm tough as steel by a lifetime of hard-to-swallow lessons and drama trauma. Hopefully, I will meet a young gentlemen who is great enough to accept this is who I am. It just took me a whole lot longer, than most average people, to wait for that right person.