Daydreams were telling me life will look better

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I thought my daydreams were telling me life will look better up the road, but they were fantasies. It was my responsibility to make my life look better. Many people get pictures in their heads of how they want their futures to look, but they worked very hard to get there—or maybe they never expected to get there, and it just so happened. Regards I didn't do anything, and I just went around daydreaming for years, and nothing happened to me. 

I did wake up, but I still dealt with objecting relatives who found out I did MD, and believed I wouldn't get far with kind of my mental health. I was stupid to think I'd never be caught. There are smart people out there. You got to watch out. 

My dreams used to feel so wonderful and make me happy, smile, and even laugh. Then everyone was like "What are you laughing at? What's so funny?" 

Thing is, daydreams don't make all your problems go away, only you do. I was very young, and confident that I'll still get ahead, and do whatever I want. Achieve my goals. Something slipped along the way. And then I was given a hard time by a lot of people. I didn't even see the adulthood I wanted to see. I'm actually stuck as of now. A parents literally doesn't trust that I can take care of myself and act normal around other people. 

I'm presently going to college to become an accounting technician. It's a life change. I was a former graphic designer, and I wasn't successful. Since covid came around, I haven't been working, and it was just scary. Exactly. 

And Friends. I have no friends and partners, if I do, their imaginary. For an adult, that is damn embarrassing, but it's true. I envy other people, because they have many real people in their life that they relate with very well. They're always holding hands and mingling in groups. In fact, they don't get me...

Anyway, I've overcome MD, but winning people's trust is another, at least my dad still encourages me along the way.

Daydreams are nice sometimes, they do make you happy for a period of time, but time goes by, and you wish that you honestly stayed awake and grounded, because you could've seen much better results.