Wild Minds network

Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

MDD gives you false presumptions

I've just stepped out of an old cycle that didn't serve me a good life. And I'm so glad that I quite MDD. Long story short, it did much damage. For one thing, it wasn't hard for others to detect that I was in a daydream state. I once believed that MDD helped guide me to better things, and it turned out vice versa.

I used to sit for several hours in the day, weaving daydreams in my head about things I wanted from life. What I didn't realize that you must be "alive and awake," and hardworking to make things happen. I've always wanted more people in my life, but I was living on another planet and it didn't occur to me that you must leave your cocoon, get out there and pay attention to people AND be verbally interactive. I just sat there all quietly and did nothing, looking dumb and unfriendly to my peers, and then went straight home to my room after my classes wrapped up. My peers didn't know how to react to my strange and abhorred behaviour, so they teased and bullied me, and pretty well ignored me.

My MDD effected my studies too, so I got bare grades, putting me in hot water with my dad and I just made it into a Art College by a long shot. I took up a range of subjects that weren't practical enough to make good money, but then I chose a field that was very challenging for me. It was so hard to maintain a decent waged job and this strung on for years! Now I'm unemployed during COVID and shooting my resume to 20 companies a week, hoping to finally get a bite. But in times like these, it would be miraculous.

To this day, I wish that I did so much better with a clear mind and had a bit of perception of what was happening all around me, so I could've made even better decisions that doesn't lead me into a trap. I've been giving so many red flags ever since I started the damn habit. At the age of 12, how could I have known daydreaming would become an addiction that will nearly ruin my life? Musical melodies and awestruck imagery that elates and comforts you day by day, eventually turns your future into a emotional nightmare.

Anyhow, after I quitting MDD, I learned a lot and never again will I ever be that daydreamer who just about fucked myself in the end.

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Permalink Reply by Jill on July 28, 2020 at 10:45am

How did you quit? What are you doing to replace the daydreaming?

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Permalink Reply by Jessica Ballantyne on July 28, 2020 at 11:10am

Becoming a grown adult and seeing that I didn't adjust into the world as I should've, and being a young kid was years back, also after so much "real world" experience, I just came to my senses altogether. I feel that all these dreamworlds are so silly and I have no use for them. They didn't help me find a better life, rather my health got worse.

I have to warn you, it does make you feel elated at first, but then it grows and takes over your mind. Eventually it might ruin your life. MDD is a mental disorder that doesn't care how it impacts you and everybody else, and how much of your life it sucks away, only if you keep on feeding it.

I was so lucky that I learned the hard way, and at still a tender age of 34, I've completely got rid of the addiction. Problem is when I was a kid, I had no idea what harm it will do. I simply found it awesome. It will greatly change your belief system and effect your decisions too.