Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
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my family has come to the conclusion that I'm always dancing in my room. :D
I guess it's understandable, the footsteps from the pacing and I always have my ipod on when they knock on the door. Last year I tried to explain what it really was to my mum but she got kind of worried, so I told her it was nothing. But yeah, I zone out during classes and stuff, people are used to it by now.
I've never been caught per se, but my parents have always known about my pacing. When I was little I would often pace in their presence... I've never thought about it before, but I have no idea what my parents thought about it, because they never brought it up. I suppose they simply thought I'd grow out of it (whatever "it" was), and they probably think I eventually did. I stopped pacing in my teens (I'm almost 24) but that's only because I replaced pacing with other activities; I still fantasize while doing seemingly ordinary things such as waiting for the bus...
I've probably been caught hundreds of times over the years. When I was a kid, I lived in a fairly secluded area north of town. There were houses nearby, but not many. I didn't have anywhere to ride my bike, so I'd ride in circles on the small driveway while daydreaming. You can bet that looked weird. Another teenager eventually moved close by & he casually mentioned seeing me do it once. He was just trying to be conversational, like "Oh I saw you riding your bike around in circles with your umbrella the other day." Despite his attempt to be polite, he couldn't hide the weird look on his face. When I was 12, some kids caught me looking into space in the general direction of another kid (who I was completely oblivious to). They started taunting me & saying that I was in love with him. Kids are such jerks. I was always staring off into space as a kid, and I was always getting picked on. My parents would yell at me. Pretty much everyone thought I was weird and was mean to me about it.
Now, when someone catches me staring off into space, like in the elevator or something, I'll just perk up & say "Excuse me, I was just daydreaming. Haha. What were you saying?" You'd be surprised how weird that DOESN'T sound.
Anyway, we're so scared of what people will think...........but people already had pretty much a terrible opinion of me growing up. They all thought I was a freak and were abusive to me..........everyone. Even teachers looked at me like I was nuts. Now, I live openly and if people try to question me, I talk to them like I'M the expert. Most people don't judge me when I'm honest. They think it's kind of cool, and if they're into psychology, they're REALLY fascinated. If someone tries to act like I'm weird or question this condition (like doctors, for example), I make it very clear that they're not in a position to know better. If they try to pity me for not having friends and being kind of a recluse, I tell them that pity is judgment and I don't appreciate it. There's nothing wrong with me. Plus, I'm trying to do something with my life. What the hell are they doing that's so much better? Going to parties and talking about silly crap? Oh yeah, big improvement. I'm so jealous. ;)
I have pondered about other people's lives and why they think they're so great... They really can't seem to understand how small their worlds are.
I personally have never been embarrassed to be caught daydream, I've always thought it was normal. I've been embarrassed once or twice, for example the indecent I said before, but I suppose that's only because it was a big deal to me. I was made fun of tons in elementary school just because people needed someone to pick on, and I was vulnerable. My mom worked at the school, I was quiet to pretty much everyone because I only had a few friends, so they could do what they wanted cause they knew no one would stop them. I have stared off into space at someone and kids laughed and said I liked them before. But I guess it wasn't so hard for me to shrugg off because I knew it wasn't true.
People can be jerks, but they're actions are easy to see through. I don't really see a need to be embarrassed by daydreaming, It's better than being caught doing drugs or being caught kissing 5 other girls. So, maybe we should be a bit more proud? :)
Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:
I've probably been caught hundreds of times over the years. When I was a kid, I lived in a fairly secluded area north of town. There were houses nearby, but not many. I didn't have anywhere to ride my bike, so I'd ride in circles on the small driveway while daydreaming. You can bet that looked weird. Another teenager eventually moved close by & he casually mentioned seeing me do it once. He was just trying to be conversational, like "Oh I saw you riding your bike around in circles with your umbrella the other day." Despite his attempt to be polite, he couldn't hide the weird look on his face. When I was 12, some kids caught me looking into space in the general direction of another kid (who I was completely oblivious to). They started taunting me & saying that I was in love with him. Kids are such jerks. I was always staring off into space as a kid, and I was always getting picked on. My parents would yell at me. Pretty much everyone thought I was weird and was mean to me about it.
Now, when someone catches me staring off into space, like in the elevator or something, I'll just perk up & say "Excuse me, I was just daydreaming. Haha. What were you saying?" You'd be surprised how weird that DOESN'T sound.
Anyway, we're so scared of what people will think...........but people already had pretty much a terrible opinion of me growing up. They all thought I was a freak and were abusive to me..........everyone. Even teachers looked at me like I was nuts. Now, I live openly and if people try to question me, I talk to them like I'M the expert. Most people don't judge me when I'm honest. They think it's kind of cool, and if they're into psychology, they're REALLY fascinated. If someone tries to act like I'm weird or question this condition (like doctors, for example), I make it very clear that they're not in a position to know better. If they try to pity me for not having friends and being kind of a recluse, I tell them that pity is judgment and I don't appreciate it. There's nothing wrong with me. Plus, I'm trying to do something with my life. What the hell are they doing that's so much better? Going to parties and talking about silly crap? Oh yeah, big improvement. I'm so jealous. ;)
Exactly. My point is they were idiots & who cares? I have no desire to try and impress the kind of people who would judge me. Living openly has been the best medicine ever. I simply don't allow people talk to me the way they used to. I don't even let nice, well-meaning people talk down to me. If they act like that, stop them right in their tracks and educate them. My brain functions differently. I don't have a sickness. I don't need kid gloves. I think differently than they do, and in many ways I think better than they do.
Oh, and if you are open and just say that you were daydreaming, it actually cuts down on the weird looks from my experience.
It's true that people don't think it's weird when you say you were just daydreaming, because most people do in fact daydream, just not as much/intensely as we do.
It's the same with BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), which is another thing I'm struggling with. Everyone thinks it's perfectly normal to say you don't like the way you look in this or that picture, but people don't understand how much a person with BDD hates the way they look. They think it's normal not to be perfectly happy with your body, and it is, but they don't realize that BDD is so much more than that.
I've given up trying to tell people about BDD and I don't plan to let anyone know about MD (other than my parents, who already know) because it's just so annoying when they try to convince me that I don't have it - because they obviously know me so much better than I know myself. *smirk*
Yes. During a stressful period on public transport I was reading and ended up falling into a deep day dream, where I started acting out characters. Which resulted in me being stared at and people staring at me.
Another time someone filmed me on their phone.
If I know I am really stressed I attempt to sit on my own at the back of the bus near the engines, so that if I have an episode. The engine will drown it out. Plus I will be able to monitor who can see me, from where I am sitting.
Yeah, dealing with people can be scary when it's associated to day dreaming. I've been there alright. I've been caught day dreaming too many times! Specifically by students, friends, teachers, employers, **employers' spouses**, customers, co-workers, school peers, family, street by-passers, commuters and family. Either they caught me staring dazedly into space, appearing very angry or laughing my but off so hard. A number of people have bickered about my laughing, staring, ceiling gazes, twitches, fidgets, talking aloud to 'nobody' and repetitive movements. The situations were never pleasant. The person would be either critical, upset, horrified, creeped out, uncomfortable or would laugh nastily back at me. I had no control or understanding of what I was doing, because I also suffer a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I had been living in my head
for so long that I lost track of how people are really observing me from the outside. People will also tell that I'm somewhere
else when I haven't LISTENED to what they just said. They frequently ask me WHY questions, if I didn't get with it and make judgement on what should've been done correctly and swiftly. They will not always tell right away that I've been day dreaming...or the fact I have communication difficulties due to having Autism. As a result, they may even make big angry outbursts so loud that anybody from a far can hear. So, I often lick my own wounds when it comes to reflecting on such embarrassing and thrilling experiences that involve my day dreaming being caught by other people. Even my younger sister has been very crossed by my day dreaming and verbally warned me so hard and mighty about non-family members who will catch me just wandering away and will act out in any possible horrendous way ever. There are many sane people out there who 'like to stay on earth' and not take such nonsense by people like myself who, as to get immersed into an unreal world. In fact, many people I've ever met got quite burnt up about it. People do have lives and places to go. Everybody has major roles and responsibilities to play. Living in your own world will only cause more trouble and inconveniences at bay to people who just want to get on a role with their LIVES...as smoothly as possible. So, no wonder.
Hi Cordellia, I would just like to say, I had a very troubled life growing up with excessive day dreaming. Many people have treated me like I was nuts, and even stupid. I had a very hard time fitting in and making friends. Because I day dreamed so often I never earned my independence and still live at home under low income. My mom constantly tells me that "I live on another strange planet." She sees me doing things that make her really concerned, scared and disgusted. Even, my sister acts out so disturbed to sit anywhere near me. I can't help how I look when I get lost in my dream worlds. As a kid, I used to for hours day and night. My former school peers used to get scared off by my strange behaviors, so they refused to befriend me. Now that I am 32 years old, I learned so much from what maladaptive day dreaming can do to our lives. In the end, I never lived up to my future goals and expectations. I had have lost a number of part-time and full-time jobs. People found me way to weird to keep our relationship steady; etc. my staring into space, awkward expressions and laughing. Right now, I am planning to start my life over in a positive light, and try winning over friends and relationships that I wanted so badly for years. I am so sick of my rutty situation, so now I hardly day dream as often as I used to, or rather, I'm slowly dropping the habit altogether.
Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:
I've probably been caught hundreds of times over the years. When I was a kid, I lived in a fairly secluded area north of town. There were houses nearby, but not many. I didn't have anywhere to ride my bike, so I'd ride in circles on the small driveway while daydreaming. You can bet that looked weird. Another teenager eventually moved close by & he casually mentioned seeing me do it once. He was just trying to be conversational, like "Oh I saw you riding your bike around in circles with your umbrella the other day." Despite his attempt to be polite, he couldn't hide the weird look on his face. When I was 12, some kids caught me looking into space in the general direction of another kid (who I was completely oblivious to). They started taunting me & saying that I was in love with him. Kids are such jerks. I was always staring off into space as a kid, and I was always getting picked on. My parents would yell at me. Pretty much everyone thought I was weird and was mean to me about it.
Now, when someone catches me staring off into space, like in the elevator or something, I'll just perk up & say "Excuse me, I was just daydreaming. Haha. What were you saying?" You'd be surprised how weird that DOESN'T sound.
Anyway, we're so scared of what people will think...........but people already had pretty much a terrible opinion of me growing up. They all thought I was a freak and were abusive to me..........everyone. Even teachers looked at me like I was nuts. Now, I live openly and if people try to question me, I talk to them like I'M the expert. Most people don't judge me when I'm honest. They think it's kind of cool, and if they're into psychology, they're REALLY fascinated. If someone tries to act like I'm weird or question this condition (like doctors, for example), I make it very clear that they're not in a position to know better. If they try to pity me for not having friends and being kind of a recluse, I tell them that pity is judgment and I don't appreciate it. There's nothing wrong with me. Plus, I'm trying to do something with my life. What the hell are they doing that's so much better? Going to parties and talking about silly crap? Oh yeah, big improvement. I'm so jealous. ;)
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