January 2012

[Lightman]

I was watching the latest biggest finale (I love that show, I very much relate to the contestants) and the winner gave this great speech about how he had overcome all the bad things in his life by having small successes and somehow tying them together. That had taught him how to be a winner again. That struck a core. Big steps are hard for me with MD, but what if I can take baby steps and link them together?
Year 2012, 12 months, 12 challenges, 30 days each... I haven't planned the whole year out, one month at a time. each small step interlacing my real world self and MD persona closer together.
Each month I'm starting a discussion "January 2012" an so on, each day I'm going to try to make  a small journal entry. At the end of the month I'm going to make a blog summary (hopefully with some pics) of the month. By journaling the ups and downs.  By trying to measure my efforts I really hope that I can stay motivated and see this through. 
If there is anyone else who wants to join in, you are more than welcome! Your goals and monthly challenge can differ from mine. 
So January. The first order of business is for me to chuck out my ADSL, tv and put my computer under lock and bolt. These are all major culprits in my MD taking a turn for the supernatural and ostentatiousness that will kill my new years resolution. Btw via cellphone  I can't access my blog or most of the other stuff on this site. 
January is media detox and back to basics month. In MD I'm a very fit (runs marathons, has abs) and very organized person. In real life, the only exercise I get is running to the subway in the morning, because I never can find my stuff so I'm always running late...
This month I will:1 get 8hours of sleep2 work out, at least 3 times per week3 eat a balanced diet (no more potato chips for dinner)4 clean and organize my home5 only DD about actual me 

[sasi]

Life is a slow burn journey rather than a flash fire.I know it seems frustrating that you aren't speeding ahead at the moment but you are actually doing so well.You have everything going for you and a job will happen.

I'm in the UK and the economy here is also dreadful.Loads of my friends have been out of work but they are all getting jobs eventually.

I'm with your brother on the"don't believe the hype" front of others.You just get told edited highlights as no one is going to post"well,actually I sat around all day in my pyjamas,watched boring TV,then went to bed"!!

 
Elizabeth said:

@Lightman thanks it means a lot! Yeah it will get better, I am 23 about to turn 24 in February. I think I am being too hard on myself and I am lucky to have a job period with the economy the way it is and jobs hard to find in the U.S. even WITH a degree. Its just not really in my field and others have had better successes than me and it gets me down a little. But you are right, its a brand new year! I would LOVE to be on board super squad 2012! :)

[roxanne]

OK, I'm having a glass of wine for lunch after my work-out.  My little celebration - sort of celebrating 2 birthdays, after all.  And maybe get my nails done.  Purple is the new neutral, they say.  I feel like this is a good place for me to start the semi-merger.  Right now, on a superficial basis, we are so far apart.

[Lightman]

Jan 6.  7am woke up, breakfast oatmeal w milk, egg and OJ.  8am started laundry. Between loads I organized my freezer, vacuumed my mattress and floors.  10pm snack a s small blue cheese sandwich and a tangerine.  12am lunch baked potato, broccoli and grilled chicken.  1pm laundry done, folded and put away. 1pm-1:45pm  nap, followed by a walk outside. 3pm snack vanilla yoghurt and musli. After that things got a bit slow, I got a bit bored and restless= major warning flags!!! So I washed the dishes made a dinner box (steamed veggie combo) and bought a last minute train ticket. On the train right now :)  I'm giving myself tomorrow of, kinda... I won't be cleaning or working out tomorrow but I have set some ground rules: 1. I will be managing my sleep.  2. I will maintain a balanced diet.  3. The only alone time I'll spend in my room will be at bedtime. 4. I will follow the planned itinerary for this weekend: early tomorrow morning I'm going for a drive, in the day I'm meeting a friend for some shopping, I'm going to cook with my mom and I'm taking the early train home on Sunday.  In the past I've always been a all or nothing person "I won't meet any friends/go out/work out until I have finished this paper/lost this weight/cleaned my home/ gotten my driving license... It has always made me miserable, I've never been able to stick with anything for too long (this is the reason why I started a 38d driving challenge ) and when I've failed my MD and self loathing gets to its highest levels. I'm finally starting to get that it isn't about the goal, but rather the journey and I need the fun things in life to remind me why I'm doing all of this... 

[Lightman]

Hmm just realized that I could sings this entry to Rebecca Black's Friday music...

Lightman said:

Jan 6.  7am woke up, breakfast oatmeal w milk, egg and OJ.  8am started laundry. Between loads I organized my freezer, vacuumed my mattress and floors.  10pm snack a s small blue cheese sandwich and a tangerine.  12am lunch baked potato, broccoli and grilled chicken.  1pm laundry done, folded and put away. 1pm-1:45pm  nap, followed by a walk outside. 3pm snack vanilla yoghurt and musli. After that things got a bit slow, I got a bit bored and restless= major warning flags!!! So I washed the dishes made a dinner box (steamed veggie combo) and bought a last minute train ticket. On the train right now :)  I'm giving myself tomorrow of, kinda... I won't be cleaning or working out tomorrow but I have set some ground rules: 1. I will be managing my sleep.  2. I will maintain a balanced diet.  3. The only alone time I'll spend in my room will be at bedtime. 4. I will follow the planned itinerary for this weekend: early tomorrow morning I'm going for a drive, in the day I'm meeting a friend for some shopping, I'm going to cook with my mom and I'm taking the early train home on Sunday.  In the past I've always been a all or nothing person "I won't meet any friends/go out/work out until I have finished this paper/lost this weight/cleaned my home/ gotten my driving license... It has always made me miserable, I've never been able to stick with anything for too long (this is the reason why I started a 38d driving challenge ) and when I've failed my MD and self loathing gets to its highest levels. I'm finally starting to get that it isn't about the goal, but rather the journey and I need the fun things in life to remind me why I'm doing all of this... 

[Lightman]

Roxanne that sounds absolutely fabulous! Enjoy the wine and go for the purple, I bet It will look fantastic with your brown hair!

[Lightman]

WOW! Sasi losing 100lbs and a year later keeping it off- is a major accomplishment! Awesome! 
I'll check out Tracy, right now I'm only focusing on cardio but later maybe i'll start  JM with you:) the thing that I love about  JM is that it feels like she doesn't only shape your body, but your mind as well .  Congrats on the 2lbs, you are living proof that  it's possible to lose weight on a delicious diet!

[roxanne]

Happy New Year! At MissRepresentation.org we are as committed as ever to ending sexism and eradicating gender stereotypes. To accelerate our efforts, we are focusing our energy on five major resolutions in 2012:

1. Get healthy - It is not about dieting, it is about a lifestyle shift. We are taking a 360-degree view of all that we consume in 2012. Watching less reality TV and educating ourselves instead through documentaries and books will make us - and those around us - smarter and healthier. This year we are celebrating alternatives to tabloid media, expanding our educational efforts and giving our supporters new and exciting ways of staying involved.

2. Value ourselves - This can be hard in a society that seems to only value the superficial, but celebrating our true selves and our accomplishments, while taking moments to recognize our worth, is essential for us to reach our full potential.

3. Be a model, be a mentor - Being a model is about personifying the characteristics we hope to see in the world around us. It is as simple as remembering that every time we look in the mirror and criticize our looks, it is very possible that a young girl or boy is watching and learning from that behavior. 

4. Get involved - Whether it is volunteering at a beach cleanup or chairing the local school board, by becoming active in our local communities we are taking ownership of the change we want to see. Change requires action so at MissRepresentation.org we will continue to encourage real world organizing and activity in 2012. 

5. Be a leader - We are taking on stronger leadership roles in our own communities, cities and states. Only 18% of America's top leaders are women. This is the year we significantly change that number. In 2012 we encourage everyone to step into new leadership roles and to support women in leadership wherever they can.

Over the next year we will dig deeper into these five categories and provide easy actions all of us can take to stay true to our "resolutions." Join us as we embark upon the best year yet for each of us personally and for women and girls around the world!

Warmest,

These are some New Year's resolutions I got from MissRepresentation, an organization that looks at how the media looks at women - just look at women's magazines.  They are almost all about how to get thinner, get flatter abs, how to find a man, etc.  Whereas men's magazines are about politics, sports, economics, business and hot young chics.  They give a lot of practical advise as to how to counteract that message.  One of their strategies is to ban tabloids, entertainment shows, etc.  Thought it fit right in with some of our own goals.

[roxanne]

The chinese 5 spice was great!  Thanks.  Like having our own private chef for consultations.  Also picked up some oranges for orange-honey chicken tomorrow.  But forgot rosemary, so will have to pick that up.

[Lightman]

Jan 7.
Got up around 7 and went for a drive, picked up some groceries for mom, got back and had some brunch. 11am-5pm shopping with Elizabeth. She is one of my oldest and best friends. She’s a social worker that works a lot with addicts, very no nonsense and well informed of my MD. The perfect person for me to hang out with today. I told her about the plan for 2012 and bounced some ideas. We had sushi for lunch and a small chai latte. Picked up a bluetooth keyboard (writing all my entries just using my phones touchscreen is pretty slow) and a pair of Henri Lloyd summer sneakers on sale. Got home and made vegetarian pizza with mom and helped her take down all the christmas stuff. Sitting with my family and watching the Swedish Gladiators. It’s been a very good day. Throughout the day I’ve had a light DD, with me starring in my own reality show. It’s been helpful because it’s made me focus on the thing I’m doing.

[roxanne]

What a great day!  I'm curious as to Elizabeth's thoughts.  Being a social worker she must be a very nice person :-).  When you went for a drive, were you driving?  How's it feel now?  Getting more comfortable.  I love the pictures of the stuff you got, and the pizza looks yummy.  How do you take those pictures - and such good quality?  

I love the idea of a reality show.  Were you your actual self?  It's funny but when I think about myself in different hypothetical situations, I never think of this as "day dreaming."  I guess this is what Cynthia talked about as actual  "day dreaming" as opposed to the compulsive fantasizing, where I am me but unrecognizable to anyone but me.

[Lightman]

Jan 8.Today I went grocery shopping, cleaned and organized my bathroom and most of my kitchen, cooked for the week, gathered up 6 plastic bags of junk to throw away (not bad considering my tiny apartment) and did 30min cardio in the gym.  This is not what makes today interesting. Today I really struggled, had a 2hour major MD relapse, that threatened to end it all ... and somehow found an efficient way to stop it and get my head back into the game. I will be getting more into it, but it's already 10:41 pm and I need to get to sleep.

[roxanne]

Am anxious to know how you efficiently stopped it.

I have to say I am just in love with the Chinese 5 Spice.  I added it to spinach last night, then placed my honey & orange chicken on a bed of it.  Just scrumptious, so I had it again tonight, with a 1/2 sweet potato with C5S on it, too.  I also added it to an apple today.  It's cinnamony, but sharp & spicey, too.  I think I'll try it on some cinnamon toast.