Do you have day dreams without you in them?

[aliasihaya]

So as I'm starting to get more involved in these forums about MD the constant theme that I hear about is an Idealized version of yourself or an idealized life for yourself.  That's definitely the way it is with me.  I'm a Super Me in my day dreams in many different ways.  I'm the me in my dreams that as a kid I'd hoped I would grow up to be but failed in real life.  

So my question is, is this the key symptom of MD?  Is it always centered around yourself and the world that you want to create for yourself?  And if it's not then do you ever have daydreams that don't have you in them?  I'm just becoming more and more curious about why I day dream and I suddenly realized that I never have a day dream that I'm not in.  I can have a real dream when I'm sleeping that I'm not in.  But never a day dream.  So am I always the center of the dream?  Is my need for a Super Me the reason that I have MD anyway?  And if that's the case will I ever get close to creating a Super Me in real life so I won't feel the need for MD?   Unlike some on this site I don't want to do it anymore.  I used to not care at all because it made me feel good.  But lately I feel so turned upside down in my real life that I feel like I need to start living my real life and stop living my imaginary life...but I digress....

I guess what's become interesting to me is that I don't day dream without me in them.  What are your experiences?  Is it always about you?  Is it the one time you can revel in narcissism?  Whether the dreams are good or bad are you always the central figure?  I'm just curious if our common thread is the fact that our dreams are centered on us.  Let me know your thoughts.

[Steve C]

This is currently what I'm questioning as well. Most of the time it's the idealized me, but that doesn't mean on long binges I won't go on an adventure (Although always as myself, idealized of course).

I feel the same way you do, turned upside down about it because I live in a real world where I failed so many times to become my idealized self that it's rather depressing. I feel like most of my DD's are achievable (until I continue them beyond the point of being able to remotely predict what it will be like), only if I could slap myself in the face, and instantly change some habits around (Usually my DDs start like: what would life be like a week, a month, a year from now if I was able to get myself together tomorrow?) .

It's frustrating for me because when events happen in real life that contradict what I have going on in my DD timeline world, that make that thing impossible to happen in the future, I get upset. I can't DD about it anymore 

[Jared]

I rarely have daydreams with myself in them. Most of my daydreams feature made-up characters controlled by me. My current daydream has two main characters and a few secondary ones.

[Laila]

I don't think that's the key symptom of MD. I've met a lot of people here who mainly DD about other people/characters, like I do. It's just fun being the creator, the spectator, the one lurking in the shadows, muahahaha. Ok, I didn't mean to sound that creepy. o_O Bottom line is, there's a lot of variety in our DD experiences. Some people mainly DD about imaginary characters, real people, celebrities, cartoon characters, or themselves. And mix them up. xD

[roxanne]

Cynthia's paper is really worth reading.  She has done the most extensive & professional research done on MD.  She said there were 2 main categories: 1 was self-oriented, aspirational, fantasy version of self. 2 was plot & character driven, but if dreamer was in it, it was as narrator, director, by-stander, etc.  So either type is very normal for us.  

She also said that we are probably about 4% of population, which is really a lot of people.  

We were no more likely to suffer childhood trauma than the general population, so this is not what causes it.

It is very hard to give up because it starts so early, unlike drug or alcohol addiction, which starts later.

[Jessie]

I am usually never in my daydreams. They're mostly about video game characters, as sad as that sounds. Mainly because in games, you're controlling the characters and it feels like you are a part of them, so they become partial to you...and...well...I could never give them up. If that made any sense. D:

[roxanne]

Yes, and it sounds very normal, relative to us, that is.  Cynthia didn't dissect the 2 categories and what we each get out of the different ones.  I think that would be interesting.  

[Wish Upon A Wish]

Sometimes I do the lurking in the shadows a little bit, but that's mostly, like in a book, where it goes from the main characters to a scene in the view (or third-person of) the bad guy or whatever? Yeah, kinda like that. Sometimes I'm the idealized version and I'm watching what others in a book series are doing (say, I'm new at their school or whatever. And am always purposely the weird one that wants no friends.) but then I end up a little involved and sort of tell them what they should to, but usually cryptically. Except then I ramble on in the DD and give away too much and I don't even really mean to hahaha

Laila said:

I don't think that's the key symptom of MD. I've met a lot of people here who mainly DD about other people/characters, like I do. It's just fun being the creator, the spectator, the one lurking in the shadows, muahahaha. Ok, I didn't mean to sound that creepy. o_O Bottom line is, there's a lot of variety in our DD experiences. Some people mainly DD about imaginary characters, real people, celebrities, cartoon characters, or themselves. And mix them up. xD

[Reyna Aziz]

For me, most of the time it's the idealised me, but if I read a good book or watch a good movie, it revolves around some of the characters...

[greyartist]

I do on occassion DD about a book, fixing an ending I didn't like, I'm not in those.

[Sophie Bee]

I think it varies really.. A lot of the time mine centre around my idealized self too, but I do have another 'alter ego' I suppose who I often daydream about. .

I too wonder what are the causes of my daydreaming, if its because I'm insecure, or because in my daydreams I have much more power and control than in real life. I do worry though that constantly daydreaming about my ideal self is like some kind of narcissistic personality disorder or something :S