I've scheduled an appointment with a therapist

[nelson]

The appointment is for tomorrow afternoon. I've printed up a copy of Dr Cynthias report (I had to go to the library to do this since I can't get online at home, plus I don't have a printer). And I'm going to take that report with me. I'm hoping he can help me with my MDD and my depression as well as whatever mental and emotional problems I may have.

[J Noland]

I am eager to hear how he reacts to the md. I'm excited for you, I hope this therapist is able to understand the md well enough to start you on a better course.

[nelson]

Im hoping he isn't dismissive of MDD as I've seen by others online.



J Noland said:

I am eager to hear how he reacts to the md. I'm excited for you, I hope this therapist is able to understand the md well enough to start you on a better course.

[Lizzy]

God bless you and I'm sure that hell take care of you and you're in my prayers I really hope that you get better because you still have a chance of 
Having kids and living a nice life that you want to live. I think first you need to live yourself and realize that 
You Are you for a reason. Get better for you. Only you can decide your future
Not a day dream... Yes you're not young but you're not old... I know 
That you can make it.... : ) it's like they say, " if you want a rainbow, you're gonna need
A little rain"

[nelson]

Thanks Lizzy. I do indeed believe that I still have a chance of living a better, nicer life. Complete with kids. I'm really looking forward to trying to make my life a much better one than before.

Lizzy said:

God bless you and I'm sure that hell take care of you and you're in my prayers I really hope that you get better because you still have a chance of 
Having kids and living a nice life that you want to live. I think first you need to live yourself and realize that 
You Are you for a reason. Get better for you. Only you can decide your future
Not a day dream... Yes you're not young but you're not old... I know 
That you can make it.... : ) it's like they say, " if you want a rainbow, you're gonna need
A little rain"

[nelson]

The therapist said this is the first he's heard of this. And he's been a therapist for about 40 years. He took my printout of Dr Cynthias report, asking to keep it so that he can look it over. I go back next Thursday for another appointment.

[Aquarius]

@Nelson- you did it, you took the 1st step. Three cheers for u - hip hip hurray!

[roxanne]

What did you think of the therapist?  At least he is taking time to read the paper & look into it.  I think that is a positive sign that he isn't just dismissing it as an avoidant strategy or something.  Did you get an initial impression?  Probably next week will tell you more.

[nelson]

I think its too soon for an impression. I am a little worried about discussing a sort of problem with him that he's never heard of. He did say that I'm bored and that's why I daydream so much. That if I had many more activities to occupy my time, that I wouldn't daydream so much. I think he's half right and half wrong. I think "bored" is the wrong word. As I don't feel bored. The reason why I daydream so much, and compulsively so, is due to the fact that I have and had a really horrible real life. So I daydream about having a much better life. About having the things and people that I really don't have (friends, a girlfriend, romance, wealth, etc). I think he is correct in that I need to do something to occupy my mind so that I won't daydream. I brought up my desire to study music, in particular to learn how to play the piano, but he was dismissive of that because I won't be able to earn a living that way. But I'm not looking to earn a living playing the piano. I just want to learn for my own pleasure. And I believe that I will love it and I also believe that it will help me stop daydreaming so much on top of that.



roxanne said:

What did you think of the therapist?  At least he is taking time to read the paper & look into it.  I think that is a positive sign that he isn't just dismissing it as an avoidant strategy or something.  Did you get an initial impression?  Probably next week will tell you more.

[roxanne]

I agree with you that it's probably too soon for an accurate impression.  

I think it's important to remember that Cynthia's paper stressed that one's background is not really responsible for the compulsive fantasizing.  We really reach across the spectrum, in same proportions as people who don't daydream as we do.  So it isn't due to boredom; I completely agree with you on that.  I have had a very good life and continue to do so.  Many people in her study have.  I am married, good job, friends, interests, etc.  And it doesn't matter.  I still fantasize.  I absolutely believe it is something different in us.  Or we started doing it really early & so it became an addiction that has become impossible to give up.  (Drugs & alcohol start much later, are not as readily available, etc.)  I really think the whole thing is to learn to live with it, make peace with it, and find a way to get the other things you want in your life, making it a helper, not a hindrance.  For instance, I think your learning to play the piano sounds fantastic.  It's exactly the kind of thing I mean.

[J Noland]

I suppose we'll have to expect some reluctance from the professionals until they are more familiar with our issues. Since this is so "new" the first of us MDers will be tasked with educating and informing as we are trying to seek help. I would hope that he sees this as an opportunity to learn something new in his career, it really should be exciting for him that after all these years someone just walks into his office with a completely new sort of problem. I hope he does his research and sees that your not just bored.


nelson said:

I think its too soon for an impression. I am a little worried about discussing a sort of problem with him that he's never heard of. He did say that I'm bored and that's why I daydream so much. That if I had many more activities to occupy my time, that I wouldn't daydream so much. I think he's half right and half wrong. I think "bored" is the wrong word. As I don't feel bored. The reason why I daydream so much, and compulsively so, is due to the fact that I have and had a really horrible real life. So I daydream about having a much better life. About having the things and people that I really don't have (friends, a girlfriend, romance, wealth, etc). I think he is correct in that I need to do something to occupy my mind so that I won't daydream. I brought up my desire to study music, in particular to learn how to play the piano, but he was dismissive of that because I won't be able to earn a living that way. But I'm not looking to earn a living playing the piano. I just want to learn for my own pleasure. And I believe that I will love it and I also believe that it will help me stop daydreaming so much on top of that.



roxanne said:

What did you think of the therapist?  At least he is taking time to read the paper & look into it.  I think that is a positive sign that he isn't just dismissing it as an avoidant strategy or something.  Did you get an initial impression?  Probably next week will tell you more.

[nelson]

I rarely speak with my dad. It's not out of animosity or anything like that. It's just that I'm not a talkative person, as I don't care for long conversations on the phone with anybody. I'm not doing anything to socialize. I'm just not a social person offline. It's very awkward for me to socialize. I'm basically inept in that department. Getting out of the house, that's no problem. I do that from time to time just to get away from my family.

I'm not saying money is my main issue, but a lack of it sure does hinder me from moving forward in ways I want in my life. For example, its a lack of money that prevents me from getting piano lessons. Money isn't the answer to what ails me, but it sure would help me in moving forward in a hurry.

What's my main issue? Yes, I feel that MDD has been what has preventing me from accomplishing more as I much preferred daydreaming to leaving my house and doing something with my life. I just chose to daydream it away. When I look back on part of it, for example in my 20s, I didnt want to just go out and get a job. I didn't want to face the real world with its real problems. And I KNEW that I just wouldn't be able to function amongst coworkers. Same as I couldn't function amongst fellow students in high school. Indeed, when I finally got jobs, I didn't bother socializing with my coworkers. I did my job, and got out of there. I'm not interested in a personal social relationship with them. I would like to have a romantic relationship. I'm just not ready for that, mentally and financially.




Roger Lyda said:

How often do you speak with your dad, Nelson?

I ask because you need to be developing, nurturing, maintaining, healthy relationships with people. Online friends are all well and good, but you need to venture out of the house and socialize more.

What else are you doing to socialize?

Regardless of how well you like this therapist, or if you don't like him, you can't wager your success or lack of success on his opinion of MD.  Sure, you may find you are better suited to work with a different therapist.  But regardless of how good a therapist may be, you are going to have to put forth effort yourself. You will have to start making basic changes to improve your life.

You are an intelligent guy who has researched a lot about mental conditions.

Do you feel MD is the main thing preventing you from accomplishing more with your life (and don't bother saying money is your main problem)?  I'm talking about your mental and emotional well-being.

What is the main issue?

[Aquarius]

@Roger - good question. And I think every MDer needs to ask themselves why is that they MD.

@Nelson- could you keep posting on how the sessions are coming along with the therapist?