Longstanding daydreams and what happens when facts get in the way???

[sasi]

Hi Everyone,

                  I'm new on here anfter coming across this site after a google search.I really thourght I was the only person who had lived the last 30ish years running a parrallel daydream world.

  In real life I am very happily married to a lovely man and have 2 great kids.I have a good job that I enjoy and plenty of friends.My "fantasy"world comes from a very disfunctional childhood and I realised it helped me cope and survive what happened.

 

  I fantasise usually scenarios that involve a character from TV as my partner.There daydreams can get very involved and I do get emotionally attached.My problem comes when I find out things about their real lives e.g.they are married.I then feel devastated-as I would if it had actually happened in my real relationship.While my head knows that this is crazy I can't help the emotions.My latest fantasy life has become a bit too all consuming and for the first time ever has started to intrude on my life the last couple of months.Recently I found out that this actor was married and am now all over the place.

 Does anyone else have a similar story?How do you manage it?? 

[Destiny Lund]

I very much agree with Story_Teller.

[sasi]

roxanne -thanks for book suggestions.I haven't read Outlander series but have added it onto my amazon wish list.

Not sure about historical Scottish dinner though.Haggis just too grim to contemplate.Don't know whether you can get this in the States but there is a fantastic TV series called Supersizers go... It stars Giles Coren who is an english  food critic and Sue Perkins who is a comedienne.Each episode they role play a different period in English history and eat whatever they would have eaten then.It's really good.Maybe try You tube and see if on there.

Looking forward to online dinner party.Imaginary apron on already!!

 

[roxanne]

The show sounds great.  I will have to look for it.

[J Noland]

That sounds like a show I would like. I love the Tony Robinson shows where he tries out horrible jobs throught history. I haven't read Outlander either, it also sounds like something I'd like. I used to just burn through books. But the past few years I can't stay focused enough to finish them. I really liked the Odd Thomas series from Dean Koontz but I never finished the last one. I had even bought it in hardback right when it came out.

 I think haggis is a bit too much for me too! I used to have a can of it and I was going to try it but I just couldn't do it. I don't really know if it's even sold in a can in Scotland. I'd have to be really hungry. I need to try and look up some easy things to cook.

[sasi]

I love the Tony Robinson show as well.Also an avid reader(usually-bit of a hiatus while MDD ealier this year and just getting back to it)I read all sorts of things so recommendations always welcome.My husband bought me a kindle for my birthday earlier in the year.I just don't like reading with it as much as I do a real book so I have retired it to holidays only for now.

 I love the way that some of you can DD about a fictional character.I've never been able to do this .

[roxanne]

[roxanne]

ever since my husband gave me the dream catcher, I've been dreaming about my fictional Native Americans, a la Jimmy Smits.  (I try to just give the link, but for some reason, with pics, I can only get the whole pic.  Cordellia, can you help?  I hate to take up all the space.  I also can't seem to  write in the same entry, either.  Most of my learning about the computer has been on this site.)

[J Noland]

On the pics that I've posted I was able to figure out have to drag the corners to make the pic smaller and then click my cursor to right after the pic and it let me start typing. I didn't even consider how much space I was taking up and I hope I didn't make a faux pas. I am looking forward to the next trigger that sends me into an exciting dd as they've been elusive lately. I may have to spend some quality time online searching out stuff.

roxanne said:

ever since my husband gave me the dream catcher, I've been dreaming about my fictional Native Americans, a la Jimmy Smits.  (I try to just give the link, but for some reason, with pics, I can only get the whole pic.  Cordellia, can you help?  I hate to take up all the space.  I also can't seem to  write in the same entry, either.  Most of my learning about the computer has been on this site.)

[roxanne]

Well, it's been 17 weeks today since I was faced with decision about my main "obsession."  (He broke up with old girl friend & started whirlwind romance with a new one, that was followed closely in all tabloids, People mag., etc.  For some reason, this necessitated my moving on.  I wonder when she might become the old girl friend and I can just push her to the side.)  Anyway, through the help on this site, I have some what muddled my way through, but not without real set backs - such as  last night, when I received quite a fright (hopefully not as bad as I thought), and only he would do.  This is really crazy, but I guess it's a process.  Is anyone else having trouble?

[sasi]

I'm sorry to hear you have had a setback.Is it a problem that only he will do?If the dd helps comfort you when you need it maybe just let it be.Maybe it is bringing up negative emotions though.Again what I find sometimes helps is to remember that these crushes are just projections of ourselves that we use to look after us in some psychological way.If they make you feel better then it helps me to realise that I have it within myself to make myself feel better.Sorry that may not be explained very clearly.

Let me know what issues there are(if any)and I will try to think of a way to adapt the dd.

[roxanne]

I have pretended I have just met him.  This is a first, I think, of imagining someone cheating on long-standing girl friend for me.  Although the last 2 nights, we just met & had a 1 night stand each.  I don't know if I will go back to my fictional character or J.L., the 2 with the most staying power (you haven't run into him lately, have you?  That just blows my mind that you could. OMG), or try to figure something out with The Obsession.  I don't actually see him as much as I see the girl friend.

Have you truly remained over your former crush?  Do you ever see him?  I thought that was so interesting that it was uncomfortable to see an ex's old girl friend connected with current crush.  It sounds almost normal, doesn't it?  Either that or I've completely gone over the deep end.

[J Noland]

So are you looking for help moving on from the one who is in the whirl wind romance or would you like help rationalizing going back to him? I have ideas for both scenatios. I admit that I am a heavy reader of "blind item" gossip and I have learned much celebrity sociology from this habit! I'm also curious about the process of switching from one crush to another (in case I have to do it one day!). I have minor crushes that breeze in and out of my dds but I always go back to the main one and he's the one I get truly heartbroken over when crashing. I've got to mention how grateful I am to write this stuff and not feel like a complete wacko. Last night I tried to reply to your post but my ipod wouldn't allow it and I'm glad it didn't because I'm not sure if I'd have given you the right kind of advice.

roxanne said:

Well, it's been 17 weeks today since I was faced with decision about my main "obsession."  (He broke up with old girl friend & started whirlwind romance with a new one, that was followed closely in all tabloids, People mag., etc.  For some reason, this necessitated my moving on.  I wonder when she might become the old girl friend and I can just push her to the side.)  Anyway, through the help on this site, I have some what muddled my way through, but not without real set backs - such as  last night, when I received quite a fright (hopefully not as bad as I thought), and only he would do.  This is really crazy, but I guess it's a process.  Is anyone else having trouble?