Am I a maladaptive Daydreamer ?

[Sujin Kim]

When I was younger, I didn’t have an imaginary world, unlike others. In fact, I started having one at the age of 8-9, when I immigrated
to Canada.

First, I need to know if it is maladaptive daydreaming.  So please tell me if they
are symptoms !  (:

 

So basically, I always (and by always, I mean it) daydream about fantasy worlds.

Let me explain myself.

When I was younger, when it all began, I would imagine this family I had. I was blond (while in reality I am black) and I had
a blond husband and blond kids … well, just like Barbie and Ken and their kids,
even though they didn’t have kids … I think.
In total, I had 10 kids. I can remember some of their names. First, there was Britney,
then Bradley, then Brandon … The rest, I forgot. I can remember their ages
though XD
Britney was the oldest and was 17, then there was a 15 year old, then a 14 year
old, then the twins were 12 and were named Bradley and Brandon, then a 7 year
old, then a 5 year old, there was a 4 year old, then twins that were 1 year
old.

As I grew up (age 10-11), the ethnicities changed. For example, at some point, the 4 year old was an adopted girl from
Africa and was named Zara. Then the youngest turned out not to be twins, and
one was two and was adopted from Asia while the other was a newborn.

From 11 to 13, it would change every month! I can’t name them all, but I will quickly name one.

The one that stands out the most for me would be when I would imagine me being a certain singer’s little sister. So I was two
years old and was German. It was back when I was addicted to Tokio Hotel, And I
would imagine myself being Tom and Bill’s (twins, Tom being the main guitarist
and Bill being the singer) little sister, Tatiana.

Now, I still have plenty of imaginary worlds. My favorite one has to be the one where I am one of my favorite Kpop singer’s
little sister (Sujin, Korean, age 14)

I also like the one where I am a Korean mother of a two year old and I have a boyfriend and all …

From time to time, I would imagine random (and I mean random) stuff, like me having some sort of supernatural power, etc …

Okay, now that I am writing this down, I feel so weird and stupid. But I love those imaginary worlds because they are my source
of comfort, since my life is not great at all. They are the lives that I want to
have but sometimes, imaging them makes me sad because I know I won’t have a
life like those.

Daydreaming is now affecting my life little by little. I daydream so much, it became an addiction and most of what happens to
me in real life has to happen to me in my imaginary worlds.

I daydream so much that I can’t concentrate in school anymore. Not that I really care, but my grades are dropping. My imaginary world
is taking so much place in my life that I even created MSN accounts and I am
basically lying to people. I try to delete them but end up creating new accounts
all the time.

I really want to, first of all, be concentrated in school because teachers hate it (to be honest, I think I am doing well for
someone that is not concentrating, but I know I can do better and I want to do
better …). And I also want to stop lying to people on MSN … I don’t want to get
rid of my imaginary worlds though because they are real source of comfort but I
think it is affecting my social life.

 

So, can I get help for this? And the most important, is it really maladaptive daydreaming?

 

 

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Hi there. First of all, thank you for being courageous enough to come forward. This definitely sounds like Maladaptive Daydreaming to me.

Maladaptive Daydreaming is an emerging disorder that's only been studied a few times ever. We're learning a lot about it every day, and it's only through people who are courageous enough to come forward, like yourself. That means that we don't have a set list of symptoms or criteria for diagnosis, and also if you don't have every symptom you see listed here that doesn't mean you don't have it.

The main characteristics of Maladaptive Daydreaming are just what you mentioned. The main issue is you can't stop daydreaming. It really does feel like an addiction for a lot of people, and that makes it very hard to live with.
A lot of people have expressed difficulty concentrating. I've had this all my life, and it's very severe. I spend all day long every day working on one simple assignment & can't concentrate enough to get it done. It's very hard for people at school to understand.

It doesn't matter if you have one fantasy world or if you just daydream about different things every time. The point is it's getting hard to control, and it's affecting your life. To me that's the very definition of it.

Not everyone's been daydreaming all their lives. In fact, I've only met a few who have. A lot of people start at various ages, as a young child, teen, adult, or even when they're older. It doesn't matter when you start. The point is that you can't seem to stop.

Have you seen my video, "What is Maladaptive Daydreaming?" I talk about what it means to me & what it's like living with it. It's 13 mins long, and I tend to ramble a bit, but it might answer some of your questions.

Please know you're not alone. There are lots of people struggling through this every day. Please feel free to share anything you're going through. You might end up sharing something that someone else was too shy to talk about & make them feel better. That happens a lot.

As for treatments, well since we're just figuring out this disorder, it's kind of up to us to figure out how to treat it. I posted a forum "What helps" for people to pool their information.

Most people find that they have triggers, things that make them go into a daydream world. I don't know that I really have any, but if you do, then understanding them can be a way to help you limit your daydreaming. If you know something triggers you, then avoiding it or limiting it can be a way to help.

Also, lying on the internet can be kinda risky. It's one thing to be creative, but if you're starting to blend your fantasies with reality a bit then that can be counter-productive to healing. Maybe you could blog about your fantasies as a way to get them out creatively. Maybe you could write stories & post them somewhere. You're welcome to post them here. Just a thought.

Please let me know if there's anything else I can do.

[Pebbles uwanawich]

Hi,I really dont know who is going to read this ,but I feel safe here.

My whole family has this Maladaptive Daydreaming,but we called it Talking to your self ...lol

I feel like I have to do it I hate doing I feel crazy.I  remember watching my mother do it.She use to pace up and down wile she listen to her music and she would talk under her breath to no one and laugh to her self  and now my son see me do it .My father,sister ,Mother,I,and my younger casein  all have it .I hate it so much.every day I wake up and tell my self I am going to stop and I can't.Is there any thing I can do to stop this?I am so happy that I am not alone in this.