Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
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I am in college and it is bad. I NEED to study and my grades have suffered because of my lack of motivation. I managed a 3.8 gpa last semester and it is looking really bad this semester. As soon as I get back to my dorm room and realize my roommate is not there I want to turn on my computer and start listening to one of my favorite songs on the internet and daydream. This can go on and on. I wish there was a way in which I could trick myself into studying using that urge I get to daydream. I am like Devonte in which I can catch myself and daydream for just a minute here and ten minutes there and stop 20 times a day, but its like an uphill battle and it is so stressful and saddening. And what do people like us want to do when we're stressed? Daydream for hours. Then you stop, feel stupid that you could have been 2 chapters closer to getting a passing grade, and promise yourself that you are going to study nonstop. Then in the middle of your chapter you get that feeling again and you can't concentrate. Then off to your fantasy world in which you have a lover and people admire you and the whole bit. It even makes you smile and sometimes talk out loud (but not too loud) and laugh if you thought of something really clever to say in the daydream or did something really bold that you wouldn't do in real life. That is my battle. Fighting seems futile, but it is necessary for I do not want to regret not succeeding on account of something as seemingly simple as controlling what my mind does. After all, it is my mind. And monks do it all the time. They don't talk for years sometimes. THAT is discipline. Sometimes I feel like I should just put my life on pause and say, "hey anyone who cares, I'm going to join a cult, monastery, become a nun" or something crazy like that. Shave my head and find myself lol. That way I'll be forced to be around people all the time and feel a part of a team and have to focus on something and help other people. It would be difficult to daydream in those conditions and after a few years all will be better. I do believe daydreaming is a habit that we developed. I read somewhere that a habit takes 30 days to form. SO my theory is that if we stop for thirty days (easier typed than done) and then for another thirty days etc. then it won't be so much apart of us anymore. We will be out of practice so to speak. But beginning that journey takes courage and strength and finding another way to deal effectively with stress, sadness, boredom, disappointment, etc. Sometimes I feel as if it is bigger than me. Where to start? When will it end? When will I know that I have reached "that place?" People quit addictions cold turkey, can't I?
I pretend I'm a spy behind enemy lines. I'll be in the grocery store looking for something (usually mac&cheese) and I'll dart down an aisle humming James Bond music. I often get mistaken for a kid just being weird. It's the only advantage to looking like a twelve year-old. : )
oh my god..... thats exactly how i feel. but how to stop?
Star Williams said:I am in college and it is bad. I NEED to study and my grades have suffered because of my lack of motivation. I managed a 3.8 gpa last semester and it is looking really bad this semester. As soon as I get back to my dorm room and realize my roommate is not there I want to turn on my computer and start listening to one of my favorite songs on the internet and daydream. This can go on and on. I wish there was a way in which I could trick myself into studying using that urge I get to daydream. I am like Devonte in which I can catch myself and daydream for just a minute here and ten minutes there and stop 20 times a day, but its like an uphill battle and it is so stressful and saddening. And what do people like us want to do when we're stressed? Daydream for hours. Then you stop, feel stupid that you could have been 2 chapters closer to getting a passing grade, and promise yourself that you are going to study nonstop. Then in the middle of your chapter you get that feeling again and you can't concentrate. Then off to your fantasy world in which you have a lover and people admire you and the whole bit. It even makes you smile and sometimes talk out loud (but not too loud) and laugh if you thought of something really clever to say in the daydream or did something really bold that you wouldn't do in real life. That is my battle. Fighting seems futile, but it is necessary for I do not want to regret not succeeding on account of something as seemingly simple as controlling what my mind does. After all, it is my mind. And monks do it all the time. They don't talk for years sometimes. THAT is discipline. Sometimes I feel like I should just put my life on pause and say, "hey anyone who cares, I'm going to join a cult, monastery, become a nun" or something crazy like that. Shave my head and find myself lol. That way I'll be forced to be around people all the time and feel a part of a team and have to focus on something and help other people. It would be difficult to daydream in those conditions and after a few years all will be better. I do believe daydreaming is a habit that we developed. I read somewhere that a habit takes 30 days to form. SO my theory is that if we stop for thirty days (easier typed than done) and then for another thirty days etc. then it won't be so much apart of us anymore. We will be out of practice so to speak. But beginning that journey takes courage and strength and finding another way to deal effectively with stress, sadness, boredom, disappointment, etc. Sometimes I feel as if it is bigger than me. Where to start? When will it end? When will I know that I have reached "that place?" People quit addictions cold turkey, can't I?
I tell myself that it is very important that I get up in that instant because I have loads to do. As my MD is triggered off by feeling bored or depressed. If I am really low I will give myself a hug and say, "Everything will be alright2 and then, I get uop and do what I have to do.
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