Venting

[Magenta]

Hello all,

 

I'm in grad school and am currently taking a grief and loss class.  We were talking about symbolic loss and I brought up something with respect to MD.  I asked my professor, who is also a grief counselor, about how we as providers can assist someone with the loss of a daydreaming character (i.e. a celebrity used in a daydream that dies in real life).  Needless to say, the professor was not receptive to the proposed scenario and was, in fact, quite dismissive of the idea.  I plan on bringing this topic up again to get more exposure/recognition for MD related grief and loss.  I myself have been in this situation on multiple occasions, and the loss of my character was felt just as deeply as the loss of a "real" person.  I'm of the opinion that that grief experience can be handled with the same professionalism as other types of loss.  Grrr!

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I agree that this is very important.  I'm sadly not surprised by your professor's reaction.  This is going to be an up-hill battle.  I would take with you the recent studies that have been done.  Throw Cynthia's PHD in her face.  Maybe you're not a doctor, so she thinks she knows more.  Well, you know more than she does about this, and a real doctor believes and understands us.  Don't let her push you around.  I think this is a very important topic.  We can use this condition as a tool, but not unless we're willing to really look at it.  

 

I went & saw a new psychiatrist for sleep meds today.  Surprisingly he had heard of MD.  Not surprisingly, he thought he knew more about it than me & didn't even seem willing to talk about it since I wasn't asking for his help.  His loss.  He told me this site is a bad idea & that becoming engaged in life won't help me focus on school.  I don't know where to begin with that.  There are so many things wrong with that statement.  I have no intention of giving up the only thing that is helping me get by.  We're smart, relevant, individuals.  If they're too good to join us, then they get to be the last to know.  So there.  :P  

 

Let me know if you need any help.  I think you're onto something here.  Go girl!  

 

 

[Katherine]

Cordellia, I've put in bold a sentence I am (like you) staggered by.  What on earth do you, or anyone else reading this, think he meant by this?! I view this site as a sort of support group - does he perhaps feel that support groups are a bad idea?  Is he going to start storming into AA meetings and throw everyone out?  Or arrange a picket line outside group therapy sessions preventing people from going in?  Okay imagination going a bit OTT there.  Perhaps he doesn't view it as a real issue, or a disorder in its own right?

 

Magenta, I'd be interested to hear if anything came of your discussions too. 

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

I agree that this is very important.  I'm sadly not surprised by your professor's reaction.  This is going to be an up-hill battle.  I would take with you the recent studies that have been done.  Throw Cynthia's PHD in her face.  Maybe you're not a doctor, so she thinks she knows more.  Well, you know more than she does about this, and a real doctor believes and understands us.  Don't let her push you around.  I think this is a very important topic.  We can use this condition as a tool, but not unless we're willing to really look at it.  

 

I went & saw a new psychiatrist for sleep meds today.  Surprisingly he had heard of MD.  Not surprisingly, he thought he knew more about it than me & didn't even seem willing to talk about it since I wasn't asking for his help.  His loss.  He told me this site is a bad idea & that becoming engaged in life won't help me focus on school.  I don't know where to begin with that.  There are so many things wrong with that statement.  I have no intention of giving up the only thing that is helping me get by.  We're smart, relevant, individuals.  If they're too good to join us, then they get to be the last to know.  So there.  :P  

 

Let me know if you need any help.  I think you're onto something here.  Go girl!  

 

 

[roxanne]

I completely agree. obviously - who wouldn't? - with everything said here.  Magenta, any updates on this or any other professor?  I am so happy that you are willing to go public with this information.  And absolutely a loss is experienced by the brain in the same way.  I have been processing for months now the loss of a DD crush just because in real life he got a new girl friend.  And I would have been 100 times worse had I not had this support group.  (And I am a therapist myself, but this group has been just awesome.)

[Magenta]

Hello all,

Unfortunately, my professor remained largely unreceptive to the idea of grief inspired by a loss of a daydreaming character, but that did not deter me from doing my own research.  A grief counselor could potentially use the same therapeutic techniques for an actual loss as they would for a daydream-based loss, just tweaking things a bit.  Although I was annoyed with my professor for not being open to my scenario, I'm glad I took her class and learned a great deal.  Now that I have my degree, I wish I could specialize in issues related to MD.