Longstanding daydreams and what happens when facts get in the way???

[sasi]

Hi Everyone,

                  I'm new on here anfter coming across this site after a google search.I really thourght I was the only person who had lived the last 30ish years running a parrallel daydream world.

  In real life I am very happily married to a lovely man and have 2 great kids.I have a good job that I enjoy and plenty of friends.My "fantasy"world comes from a very disfunctional childhood and I realised it helped me cope and survive what happened.

 

  I fantasise usually scenarios that involve a character from TV as my partner.There daydreams can get very involved and I do get emotionally attached.My problem comes when I find out things about their real lives e.g.they are married.I then feel devastated-as I would if it had actually happened in my real relationship.While my head knows that this is crazy I can't help the emotions.My latest fantasy life has become a bit too all consuming and for the first time ever has started to intrude on my life the last couple of months.Recently I found out that this actor was married and am now all over the place.

 Does anyone else have a similar story?How do you manage it?? 

[sasi]

I am like Roxanne in that I need to have real life crushes rather than fantasy ones.I do invent storylines sometimes that are more supernatural than fantasy I guess.Also like Roxanne I tend to go over and over the initial stages of a relationship with my crush.I also like to invent storylines with high emotional content,always with a happy ending though.

 Sometimes I am myself in my DD but sometimes I am my super famous actress self.I also have a cast of characters based on real life people who have been with me for years in my DD.

 I think it would be great to be able to invent a character crush purely from imagination,although thinking about it,that's pretty much what I do just with an actor's face attached.

 Roxanne-glad your crush is lessening.Let me know if you need any info on JL /stories made up etc and you don't want to go online to find out.I will happily give you carefully edited highlights.

[J Noland]

The initial stages of a relationship are my usual area of intrest too. I never get tired of replaying the same really good scenes. I will change them slightly at times and then go back to the old way. There are some supernatural dd's, others I try to keep very "realistic." My favorite crush usually has actor Peter O'toole as his father or his uncle. Sometimes he has mother but I've never settled on a face or personality for her, not sure why. Sometimes we are in America, other times England. I am always "me" but not always as I am in real life. Like I always keep my real growing up facts but I sometimes change my profession or my personal strengths (sometimes I'm a shy loner, sometimes brave and charming, etc). My looks are normally based in reality but of course my hair is perfect (can be short or long), perfect skin, perfect body (can be muscular, thin, or curvy).  It depends on the dd as to what my appearance or personality is.  My fave crush has slightly different personalities for each "role." He and I are always perfectly in sync no matter what. A lot of my favorite scenes are very emotional too! It's not unusual for me to be sweating while dd'ng.

[roxanne]

JN (I think of you as Jen), that reminds me of something that once happened to me.  A friend & I used to go see this really top-notch (expensive, well-known) fortune teller.  She was from Ireland but would come to our town once a year.  We would save up and go together to split the cost.  I didn't think I had any secrets from my friend.  Anyway, one year the fortune teller told me I was going to have a really torrid affair during the next year, but that it would end & my husband wouldn't find out.  I was horrified to think I would be unfaithfuland was quite sure she was 100% wrong.  (This despite the fact that she had told us amazing things that had come true.)  So the next year comes, and she brings this up again.  I denied it (with my friend looking on aghast), but she said it had been so intense that I was weak for months after it was over.  She said she was very confused though, because she couldn't "grasp" him to identify him, that he kept slipping through her fingers, like a "ghost" or a "dream."  I suddenly realized who she meant  and was afraid she would guess everything, but she never did.  I had, several months back, seen Streetcar Named Desire with a young & gorgeous Marlon Brando.  I never had a steamier romance, real or DD, but for some reason it ended after about a month & I never could get it back.  She was right though; I was actually weak from it.

[J Noland]

Oh I've seen a great still pic of Marlon Brando in that movie...I stopped myself from searching for it because I didn't want to trigger any dd's for you. That was an intense role and he was great. I used to visit a palm reader many years ago and I never thought to consider my crush(es) as people she was talking about. Now I wish I remembered what she said. How exciting that must have sounded, a torrid affair with a mysterious man who slips through fingers like a ghost or a dream! I love it!

I hate when an intense dd just disolves. I've tried and tried to start some back up on purpose but it isn't the same.  

[roxanne]

Any pics of Marlon are more than welcome.  As I say, I just couldn't recapture it - maybe it was too intense, although I am not a stranger to intensity.  I thought later it would have been nice to tell her because she looked positively confused as to why she couldn't get a handle on him.  However, I had never mentioned it at all to anyone until I came here.

[roxanne]

Sasi,  That is so sweet of you to offer to look things up for me - I think this is an invaluable service we could offer each other.  There is something I'm curious about, but probably no answer anywhere.  But why did he & Sienna break up last time.  I think the last child was in the past, if I remember correctly.  And she seemed to be the love of his life.  (They were such a great looking couple.)  Just wondering, but didn't really want to go on a search.

The pics I've seen of him & his kids are very endearing.

[roxanne]

Sasi, and anyone else who imagines him/herself a cook (in DD or real life), check out Bridging reality with baby steps on blogs.

[sasi]

Roxanne-have checked what I can find about JL and latest split.From what I can tell she was the one who initiated the split.Some talk of her having a fling with someone she is working with.I think JL is devastated and would need comforting by some kind soul......:-)

JL lives fairly near me in London so will keep my eyes peeled!!

 As for cooking.I actually love to cook.I find it strangely relaxing and quite a creative outlet.Making dinner for 15 next week so thinking of menus as I type.

 Good DD weekend.Watched some dvd of my crush which helped.

[roxanne]

You are so sweet - OMG you live nearby.  I'm almost speechless with the thought.

I'm so impressed that you can entertain like that.  My DD persona is a great cook and wonderful hostess.  I am a moderate cook, and not at all shy, but have never been able to cook for anyone but my husband.  I've never known why.  I can run groups, give seminars, chase down feral cats, but giving a dinner party seems paralyzing.  One reason why I thought it would be so much fun on here, to actually "have a party, using same menu, and chatting on-line.

[sasi]

Love the idea of an online party.Just need to figure out time zones.Not sure about a 3 course feast at 2am!! Will also have to think of good explanation to my husband as he has no idea about this site.

 I'm really enjoying my dd with current crush.It definitely works for me to know absolutely nothing about him.I pray he doesn't have a big career upswing again as I don't want to see anything new.It's quite likely he will though as his last thing was only a couple of years ago.Also hope no one else has him as a crush and let's slip info on here.I still find it very hard to ignore real life facts and get on with my dd,even though i realise that my crush's persona is completely made up by me.

 

 

[J Noland]

I'm thinking about telling friends or family that I've joined a historical cooking group...it's kind of the truth. I doubt anyone would ask me what the website is, I was going to say it was a yahoo group that is very small. I think I have the earliest time zone and I don't mind having "dinner" early in the day, I am an expert daydreamer and I can imagine it being night time no problem ;)

I feel like someone will just guess my crush and I'll be so embarassed! And then I think someone will know some terrible thing about him and send me into a tailspin. I try to remind myself that all of my dd's are mine and the real man is not who I'm thinking of no matter what I find out. Eventually I will find out something I don't like and it will be FINE. I will be a little hurt but I'll remind myself that *my* crush has stayed in pristine and unchanged condition. Or I'll have to imagine an evil twin brother, whatever works ;)

sasi said:

Love the idea of an online party.Just need to figure out time zones.Not sure about a 3 course feast at 2am!! Will also have to think of good explanation to my husband as he has no idea about this site.

 I'm really enjoying my dd with current crush.It definitely works for me to know absolutely nothing about him.I pray he doesn't have a big career upswing again as I don't want to see anything new.It's quite likely he will though as his last thing was only a couple of years ago.Also hope no one else has him as a crush and let's slip info on here.I still find it very hard to ignore real life facts and get on with my dd,even though i realise that my crush's persona is completely made up by me.

 

 

[roxanne]

I love the idea of a historical cooking group.  For real.  Like once a month or something.  Has anyone read the Outlander series, where they time travel to Scotland of the 1700's?