How does MDD connect with the real world?

[Penelope Jane Clark]

Hi there, my daughter has maladaptive daydreaming and I'm writing a novel where a 17 year old boy has it too.

I was thinking about how to show it in the novel - so that people who don't have it can understand how compulsive it is, how it links to your 'real' life, and how to some extent it can even help people cope with certain things.

Do you ever feel as though you are stepping into another world like some sci-fi portal?

Do you pace with eyes closed or open, and do you always need some kind of motion or do you also do it on car journeys or in bed or on the sofa?

Do you replay scenes, refining them, practising a plot until you get it 'right'?

Have you created characters based on someone you vaguely know, or met once?

Do some of you daydream everyday situations or is it ALWAYS fantastical?

I was thinking of showing it as if my character lives on this island, people by characters he has created, some based on people he knows or characters from books or films.

My daughter has done it since childhood and she is now 21, and she only discovered the name for it from this website, and she was SO relieved to know there were other people like her.

If anyone wants to share their story, I promise I won't use it in my novel as I already have the plot worked out, but it would help with my background research. I don't want anyone with MDD to feel that I have misrepresented them in my story, and I am definitely not making fun of or demonising MDD in any way.  Thanks!

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I think that I ruined my social and relationship life by doing maladaptive daydreaming. I didn't understand how people interact and communicate amongst each other, and decided to go live in a dream world. Time flew by, and now I feel the pain of loss, after years of not understanding how relationships work. So I basically spent my whole life single. I even remember how many people made fun of me for not having any friends...because I used to sit around by myself, doing my own things, and not talk. Not only was I not liked by others, but I wasn't at all understood, like they found me a crack pot. I had so many problems trying to find people who connect with me very well. I end up finding myself arguing with people, I guess, because they're not typically my crowd, and will get all mean. It's detrimental on my health and I hate to see my wellbeing all strained like this. I even have a straining relationship with my mom and sister. I wish they'd lighten up, but they won't. They're stunned that I do maladaptive daydreaming, when I should keep my head in the world, and think I'm going to struggle out there. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

In a way, my MD really lead me to a life of emotional turmoil, overcoming obstacles and social isolation. 

[Yukia]

Hi, former MD'er here 👋🏼

That's a cool idea you have there. I wish you luck as a fellow writer.

What does your daughter think? Did she give you any tips on how to write an MD episode, or she's keeping it private? If she's willing to share with you, I genuinely think she'd be the best person to base your MC's MD on. That's because MD varies from person to person, and trying to incorporate its different manifestations as told by multiple people may end up being "too much". Fantasies in MD are extremely detailed and are "written" based on a single person's experiences.

I don't think I need to add to the great many comments you have received already. It can be overwhelming to try to understand MD. Just wanted to make a final comment on one of the writing goals you mentioned:

I was thinking about how to show it in the novel - so that people who don't have it can understand how compulsive it is, how it links to your 'real' life, and how to some extent it can even help people cope with certain things.

If you want to show how compulsive it is, just describe how the MC does it even when he knows he's supposed to be doing something else that's good for him—preferably an important assignment or an exam. Or cancelling a meeting with a friend because he'd rather have an MD episode than go outside. Ideally later explained by difficulties in his life that forced him to suppress his emotions and recycle them as daydreams.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

MD gave me hope that I'd be a smart, think on my feet, attractive, courageous, persistent, liable, and professional individual doing something enthralling or interesting with my life. I grow up with no career, no house, not married or partnered, and depending on my family. I have big gaps in my working history. I let down so many people in a string of dead end jobs, and opportunities. Unclear if I was going for the wrong life and wrong occupation, and wrong people. Point is I fell on my face many times. I guess that's all about of growing up, is learning from my stupid mistakes. Who is perfect at first? I'm sure we all crashed and burned a few times in the beginning. 

Thing is I'm still learning about WHO I really am, and what's feasible for me. If I'm still going to be that person I always imagined I would be developing as a kid. Or maybe I'm just those wannabe dreamers who wish that I could be someone else I'm totally not. 

To be upfront, I'm sort of disabled, and that's why I struggle. Honestly, people have yelled at me a lot. Surprised I behave the way that I do. 

I had so many visions that I could work in broadcasting, advertising, medicine etc. Regardless, my communication problems and daydreaming got in the way of my prospects. People have strongly observed how I look while I'm dreaming, and reacted angrily, vexedly, or critically...they don't understand me and what I want.