Frustration

[Anima]

Do you guys ever feel frustrated when your daydreams don't come true? Not necessarily the daydreams themselves, but the emotions that come with them? Like they're so close, but just out of reach, and if so, how do you deal with the frustration?

[Jessica Ballantyne]

When mom found out I did maladaptive daydreaming, she exclaimed to me, "That's just life!" Things don't always go your way in life, and everybody knows you must be attentive and endure whatever happens next. Most importantly, it's how you play your hand. It's how you think. It's in the decisions you make on your journey. Whatsoever, when you're distracted in your fantasies, it just makes life a lot harder. Well, I used to believe in my dreams to an extent they became a part of my waking life. Regards, they greatly effected my decisions, how I interacted with others and where I was heading. It came to be that I didn't get "very far" with my life, especially my adulthood, not so much that I was wrapped in my MD, but how this made everybody, including my loved ones, think of me as an individual. Now that my MD has diminished over the years, I wonder if I could still get a second chance to start over and do things even better than ever. Hopefully, better job opportunities will come my way. 

[Mace Winter]

I believe in tomorrow. I believe that I am not defined by what I did yesterday as much as what I do today. Otherwise, our mistakes are who we are forever. I value the experience of making a mistake - it’s proof that I keep trying new things. I don’t always expect to get things right, but each time I try again I expect to get a bit better or at least more comfortable. Your mom is right - and she’s wrong. I think getting lost in MD was a bad thing for me overall. But, MD got me through some really difficult times and helped me regulate my emotions when life was most difficult. Now MD has served it’s purpose (for me) and it needs to keep receding so I can enjoy the more mature, more ready person that I have become.

I believe all of us MD people will reach a moment when we don’t need to daydream anymore or we will continue forever. Whatever our psyche needs. Our bodies are pretty smart, they know what they need any find a way to get it,

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Thanks for your advice. 

[Mace Winter]

OH! That’s not advice. I try really hard to not give advice. I am screwed up in too many ways to offer advice!  I am the least qualified person to get advice from. I sometimes share what I believe, and I’m glad if it sometimes resonates with you (or anyone), but it’s not advice. 

I hope you’re doing well though. You seem like a really good person and good people deserve good things happening in their life.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I'm very stunned, and it took me until now to realize this. Real life just does not look like our fantasies. 

[Mace Winter]

I just read an article that posed the question: In one word, what do you need today? I have been thinking about that question for an hour and I can’t come up with an answer. How about you? In one word, what do you need today?

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Nothing, never mind. I don't need anything today. 

[Mace Winter]

Okay. No worries

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Remarkably enough, I learned a very strong and valuable lesson today. Self-care and self-acceptance. It's about WHO you are and that you love yourself that matters most, NOT what you have. 

[Mace Winter]

Interesting. I read the question differently than you, I think. My final answer to what one thing I need today was: Comforting. I learned that a person I used to hang out with and called a friend a long time ago died. We hadn’t spoken for a few years, but I was still upset by his passing. 

I understood the question to be asking what I needed emotionally. Again, perspective is such a powerful thing. I think maybe it helps us understand some of our subconscious workings. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Perspective is powerful. I look at things in a different perspective every year. 

Pardon if I sounded lost early on today. I'm job hunting, and it's aggravating.

The company I currently freelance for has just been planning, not executing, so I haven't been working for two weeks...this is the third week I haven't heard squat from them. 

[Mace Winter]

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Our work world is such an important part of our lives in every way; emotionally, financially, socially, and with regard to self esteem. When work isn’t going well, all area of our life are more challenging. I understand.