Vent my heart

[Sara]

I don' t want advise, I just want to vent. I had maladaptive daydreaming since i was 4 years old. And i am tired of fighting against maladaptive daydreaming, Because how hard i try to stop, I still can not overcome it. And i am tired, I wish i was normal like normal people. It is a AGONY!. I know for some people it is something good but i hate it, I just can' t stop it, And i dont know if it is a addiction or a mental disorder. I always forget my appointments, When someone says something to me i always forget. And because of that people treat me as if i am dumb and dont take me serieus. And i am sad that this does'nt have a cure. I want to watch and enjoy videos without being triggered. I live in the Netherlands, And the therapists  here dont know what maladaptive daydreaming is. I am so frustrated because of it, I dont see a way out of maldaptive daydreaming. I feel so powerless because everytime i try to stop, I go back to maladaptive daydreaming. I am a adult and i am married, And i still have maladaptive daydreaming. I always thought if i am old then it will stop, But i still have it. It is embaressing and exhausting. I am thankfull for this website and thank you for letting me vent my heart :'( 

[Rosário]

Olá, também sou adulta e casada e ainda faço MD. Sempre achei que fosse normal, apesar de me incomodar um pouco, principalmente agora quando comecei a perceber que faço isso com muita frequência.

Confesso que estou feliz de não ser a única, e de encontrar pessoas bem próximas que também fazem, como o meu marido.

Porém me incomodo com o excesso disso tudo, e estou decidida a minimizar. Hoje é o meu primeiro dia fazendo isso ( com sucesso kk), talvez esteja conseguindo assim porque estou passando por um momento tranquilo da minha vida.

Eu estudo psicologia e me formo em breve, fiquei surpresa em os psicólogos do seu país não conhecerem sobre MD.
Mas compreendo eles, há muito pouco material sobre isso e ainda não é considerado uma doença.

[Elaine]

I know you don't want advice, but I just wanted to say I hear you. I hope therapists become more informed about this, or it becomes easier to talk to a professional online.

[Sara]

Hi, Thank you, I hope so to, When i talk about it, They look weird at me. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

My life evokes a keen sense of regret about something so simple that I just didn't understand, with such blind eyes and deaf ears, and lack of perception. Growing up in a town all my life, it never occurred to me that I offended or bothered others with my inability to interact and TALK with them. Something that normal people do everyday was a thing I struggled with. Ever since I started grade school, people just wanted to get to know WHO I was. I made it so hard for them by not interacting socially (talking, playing, singing etc.). I never realized how stupid and unfriendly I came out looking to them. I recall some of them calling me a "bitch." Still I didn't understand what they were getting at, not realizing I had Asperger syndrome, which gave me a difficult time relating to others socially and my behaviour and thinking patterns were rigid and repetitive. Thus, I started to do maladaptive daydream as a result of this pain and confusion. This I did for years behind my parent's back, when I should've came up front and discussed this matter with them in the first place. To my astonishment, MD put a ripple effect into my future—effecting my life path. I could've made better decisions in my life, if MD hadn't mucked up the works. I say this, because many people in my life found out exactly what I was doing, and they had their doubts. My point is the more you understand social behaviour in others, and why trauma starts, the smarter you will be not to use MD as an excuse to get away from everything. If I used my better judgement, I wouldn't have experienced the scary ride I just stepped on—that ran me off the track. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I feel your pain. I grew up with the horrors of being an excessive daydreamer. I do have Asperger syndrome, so this exacerbates the issue with being a featherbrain, unfortunately. I had a life scarce of friends and relationships *real sad* and to this day I wonder where everything went. Growing up everybody bullied me for being so quiet and stupid-looking, as like you, they didn't take me seriously as a person, and found me a blundering idiot. Even stared, gawked, threw things and made noises at me, since I was such a shy person. As the years passed, I complacently believed things will get better, but they never did. I wound up being the same old person I was born to be. It was my dream to meet someone who will understand me inside out, and not be so judgy towards my appearance, but it seems this is very rare. Although, I never got married, and had kids or anything. I see by your blog, just because you're a married woman with a man and a house, doesn't make your life any easier and more perfect. You are a maladaptive daydreamer, and it's making your life embarrassing and mentally exhausting. God knows how different I'd feel if I was suddenly partnered up with somebody. As mom had once told me, "That's just life." I've always been very single, so I don't have the idea. Again, I feel your agony for having problems with daydreaming. I too feel it has ruined me. Age never stops the daydreaming, it's actually a life long thing. I find it very hard to tell unrelated people my story, because I'm so scared they'll think I'm a dangerous person. 

[Mace Winter]

I completely understand. I do the same thing. I literally forget information as it comes to me because my mind is occupied with daydreams. It is frustrating and maddening and embarrassing.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I felt like my mental health took my chances away. I go online and see that all my peers are happy with lives and have families. I get so unhappy and jealous just looking at them.

People find me find me unable to interact with others. I just make them all pissed and no like me. That is why I started MD, to get away from that reality.