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[Leoni]

I’m 16 and I have been living with maladaptive daydreaming since I was nine, it all started when u got sexu@lly @ssulted by my dad from the age of 6-12, there are certain triggers to it and most of the time I get angry by these triggers and I scream not nothing comes out, it takes away all my negative energy but I did something similar when I was younger where I was tense up my whole body and shake to get rid of the energy, my md starts at night and I have this whole story to it and I would stay awake for hours whispering to myself and crying because I am trapped in this world, sometimes it’s a nice story line and I feel safe in my world but when I watch films sometimes the story line of the film goes into my story and messes up the calm environment I made for myself, the main thing that shows us when I start this is my dad, i think in my mind I’m trying to make things right and to understand what happened but it do get embarrassed about my md and I told my mum about it and I could tell she didn’t understand and thinks that I’m being childish or whatever but I know that my inner child is broken but I don’t know how to fix her just yet, I do sometimes feel like I’m crazy but seeing these comments makes me feel a little more sane, I’m not sure how to stop these episodes though, they are so frequent and it’s tiring but I don’t know how to explain to somebody how I’m feeling because I’m so embarrassed and I don’t want people to laugh or judge.

[Leoni]

Yeah it is like a punching bag in a way, in school I study drama, photography and public services and I work as a waitress

[Kiruba Victor]

I'm glad you found the strength to move on from that. And hey, it's good that you have the person who hurt you, in your daydreams as a punching bag. Quite a good way to blow off some steam. What do you do? I'm curious. As in like, studies or work?

[Leoni]

Mentally I am getting better but I do still get my md episodes, as for my dad I don’t let it get to me now, I’ve been through the hardest part and I have let go of the bad memories and I’m focusing on making new memories, most of my md episodes do have him in them which is annoying but I think of it as a way for me to get my anger out and tell him the things I could never say to his face

[Kiruba Victor]

Yeah, I felt sad upon reading what you went through. I was bullied in my teens, so I know the feeling of hurt and pain. And I always want no one to have to go through it. So if we can make one more person feel safe, both literally as well as emotionally, we should do it. There was this post recently that read "If you have the opportunity to help someone, do it. God may be answering that person's prayer through you."

[Leoni]

Thank you for replying it means a lot ❤️

[Kiruba Victor]

Hey Leoni. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I can only imagine the trauma you went through, that young. Our MD sometimes uses negative emotions as fuel for scenarios to process it. You can open up to us here at Wild Minds. We won't judge you for what you feel. We're a very open community. You could maybe open up to me for starters, and then the community at large. We all have inner children that need to be understood and loved. We won't laugh or judge you. You are safe here.

With love and regards

A fellow MDer named Kiruba. :)