Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
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I actually regret ever starting MD. It was enjoyable and comforting when I was a kid. But now, it's not helping me out. I spend a number of years staring into the distance longing for something that I want. When really, I had to take action and work hard to make it a reality. So I saw nothing in the end, except now my head feels weird and I get tension headaches. I had no relationships, no achievements and no success, because most times, I lived another planet. I started doing MD because I was jealous of others and had trouble finding connections. Everybody just kept making excuses that I'm introvert and quiet, and need to open up more. I used to have hobbies and interests, but now I can't seem to get my head in gear.
MD used to make me feel happy and alive, but it hasn't aged well with me. Now a much older person, I have suppressed the need to daydream, as I feel it distracts me. More so, I couldn't hide MD from anybody, even if I tried. To this day, others snap to see if I'm awake and listening to them. I make it show by how I stare into space or look the opposite direction, anywhere but their faces, and I'm so quiet. So I had no choice, but to quit, because it's getting so embarrassing. If my family members can catch me doing it, anybody can! So apparently, I don't make the covid lockdown an excuse to daydream. And I'm so worried about trying to find new work (very anxious and sweaty) that I turned down my daydreams. I'm just so panicked out of my mind.
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