Beating the Addiction

[Skylar Clarise West]

I recently moved towns and have been much happier, and understandably, I haven't been daydreaming nearly as much. Especially over quarantine, it seemed I would daydream for at least half of my day, and for the past month it's been hardly noticeable throughout my day. I have noticed that on "off-days," or just days that my mental health isn't sublime, even now those days have much more dreams. That makes sense; it's a coping mechanism anyway, right? I apologize for how scrambled this is- This is my first post & I'm not sure how people usually talk about these things. Anyway, I guess I'm wondering if you all daydream less when you're in a good place mentally and If you have any tips for stopping daydreaming entirely. I've made my peace with the fact that they'll never totally stop, which is fine, because there are some benefits, but for the most part I'd like to be present in my life. Daydreaming has provided a nice escape for practically my entire life, but I would like to start enjoying reality generally more than I enjoy my dreams. 

[Theaxe]

Hi Skylar Clarise, this is a great first discussion, and one that I think many of us can put into perspective.

After reading about your recent life-change, that has put you in a good spot mentally, I think that is absolutely key to diminishing any desire to daydream. It does for me, and I believe you are correct with your observations.

For me, most of my life daydreaming happened because I always felt inadequate. I grew up feeling negative emotions like jealousy. To curb those awful feelings, I'd daydream my Mary-Sue character (me), and put myself/my character into situations where I was completely in control and admired. During the moments in my life where I felt positive emotions, and truly felt loved, I noticed there wasn't much need to delve into a daydream world to get fulfilled. It was happening on its own.

Also, being busy helped me daydream less. (It didn't eliminate it.) If I could keep my mind and body busy on something, the better. 

I want to add that feeling happy isn't just a matter of eliminating negative emotions, or being admired. I have learned - even just recently whilst reading books about happiness - that you can find simple things enjoyable that doesn't have to include fanfare or excitement. If taking a bath with the lights down low and your favourite music playing brings you peace, then that moment right there should be a positive - not a negative. Thus, it could be a happy moment, if you so choose.

Happiness is an attitude adjustment to many things. So if you move into a new place and the change has brought you feelings of peace, then of course it makes sense that you will feel that much better about yourself, and choose the real world to feel complete at that moment. :)

[Tina]

For me it is the same, when I feel stressed out about something i tend to daydream, when I am relaxed I don´t. I´ts a way of coping with anxiety for me!