Personality

[David Burkett]

Do you guys feel that you are overly secretive? Do you refuse to volunteer information especially in group conversations? Kind of like Clark Kent laying low as the group discusses a man a red cape flying through the air? Do you have the personality of a spy or undercover detective?

[Silver Swan]

Yeah, I keep all my thoughts to myself. While eating with my family, they are doing all the talking, but I just sit there all quietly while absorbed in my fantasies. I try to listen, but my thick stream of thoughts cloud it out.

Worst of all, I am so secretive around me family. I don't say so much, and they have no idea what goes on in my head. I've always wanted to share how I feel about everything, where my life is going, but I honestly don't know how. So, they never know. It hurts — this is a family that brought me up for over 3 decades, but yet I can't communicate with them, not like I used to as a small kid. I've been living in daydream worlds since I was 12, so I forgot how to stay with them and be with them at all times. It's amazing how hurtful future consequences can due to your years of excessive daydreams. I swear, all my friends broke apart from me because of this too.

[Shadow Cat Sam]

Do you guys feel that you are overly secretive?
No comment.

Do you refuse to volunteer information especially in group conversations?
No comment

Do you have the personality of a spy or undercover detective?
No comment

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Well, I'm secretive in a way that people find me so quiet. I have trouble expressing myself verbally and struggle to apply my own information in any group conversation. Apparently, people think it's because I'm so stupid. I'm actually very intelligent.

But I sure wish I was a spy or detective. That would be cool. 

[Mo]

I feel like I am an intelligent person too but struggle to contribute to conversations, or have a fear of revealing the wrong thing about myself. I also find that many people my age have lots of experiences while most of my experiences happened in my head.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I am intelligent person, but I got misunderstood by everyone in a small town all my life. It's really sad, actually. I do feel like all my positive experiences happened more in my head. I was very shy, reclusive and extremely quiet. So my life was vacant of relationships. I have Asperger syndrome too, so that may explain my big losses. I never managed to move out and wasn't successful in a career, whereas my formative peers launched years ago. They used to make fun of me a lot in school, for being socially awkward and distant. So I feel very bad that it's obvious they have established adulthoods, which I don't. I stayed behind in that small town and was falling into their shadow. Today, everybody still thinks I have issues, and they strongly express it. Some of them ultimately don't like me, not just the fact I'm not outgoing, but I tend to behave irresponsibly. It's as if they all think I'm a idiot, but I'm NOT. I'm smart, unique, talented and gifted—it's just, I don't quite get their operations. 

[alona]

well played

Shadow Cat Sam said:

Do you guys feel that you are overly secretive?
No comment.

Do you refuse to volunteer information especially in group conversations?
No comment

Do you have the personality of a spy or undercover detective?
No comment

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Yes, I am a very secretive person. I don't talk that much. I keep my issues to myself, and hope nobody will find out.

I don't discuss my private information in regards to my MD, and I wouldn't dare. I don't like to get in trouble or be looked upon like I need some serious help. 

I guess that I do have the personality of a spy. It would be cool if I was one in real life. 

Why these type of questions, by the way?

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I never realized any of this before. It really blows my mind. Although, I was a kid developing towards maturity and had a social disorder, so I was too young to see 'red flags' and read people's emotions correctly. Mom once told me I didn't like to play with the other kids. Thing is, while I was growing, my imagination went so wild and I had trouble refraining myself from my silly fantasy worlds, so I struggled to zone myself more into the real world. In other words, I lived in my head a lot, and payed more attention to my dream cycle, than what's been actually going on around me. While I did this—I fell extremely quiet on people. 
I didn't seem to mind living in whatever worlds were going on in my head and I didn't care to notice how quiet I was. In fact, what I did back then seemed so normal to me at the time. Regardless, to everybody else I was being so very weird and they couldn't help but stare and criticize. Some of them went overboard with their reactions and told me that I had no life. Others kept their distance from me as they felt uncomfortable with my very peculiar behaviour. Most of them wondered if I was smart and I could actually talk. They even took pity on me as I just sat there all by myself, all quietly, instead of hanging out with my friends. 

Entering my early adulthood, daydreaming rocked my world, but it greatly effected all aspects of my life. My grades suffered and I wasn't making friends, nor even experienced relationships—as all people ever noticed was that I was extremely quiet and maybe I didn't like them. My behaviour started to get funny on everyone, as my eyes looked spacey and distant and I tended to laugh for no reason at all. They wondered if I was OK and where I've been. I'd make mistakes at work and wouldn't listen to someone words, and others would react like it's world's end. 

Just this summer, my dad caught me not listening to his sentence. He had a sit down talk at dinner with me. He told me that I really need to stop this shit. Friends do not come out of daydreams. Living in a world somewhere else will only worsen my relationships with people. They'll just notice that I'm deaf and not there, disinterested in them and their conversation. I was so shocked at this reality check. It clearly explained why I ended up heartbroken at missing on on life's moments of friend circles and romantic dating. I simply couldn't see how I impacted all those people, until dad gave me this verse of psychiatry. I remembered everything that happened and it's no wonder so many people reacted badly on me and I got bullied relentlessly. 

Either I followed my dad's healthy advice, or I'd go on daydreaming, talking to myself and getting lost in my sea of thoughts. I truly was a very intelligent person, but the problem was that I didn't TALK. So it drove everybody off. 

It's crazy. Since I was very young, I believed that I will randomly meet a guy near my home property, as I have met my BFF's. But I was deluded and had to realize the only way to meet someone new is to leave my comfort zone and get out there. I can't always rely on my hometown to give me those answers.