MDD makes me appear distracted

[Silver Swan]

When I was just a kid, I was a regular daydreamer, and I took it all for granted. Daydreaming became a natural way of life with me. Only thing is, I was socially awkward and was often caught not paying attention by the other kids, who would then start shouting and laughing really loudly at me.

My parents and other adults found me cute, and couldn't have noticed what I was really doing. So, I didn't get punished for it, nor have I ever heard someone say "Earth" to me.

However, when I grew up into adult, my daydreaming suddenly put a significant and dramatic affect on my life, because I was no longer care free. I had trouble hiding my daydreams, so people easily noticed by how my eyes daze at objects or I stare down hard at my body or even gaze outside a window for quite some time. So, people will often surprise me with strong remarks or they'll even imitate me.

My mom is always trying to snap me out of it, and tells me to get out of "Jessica Land." I'm wondering if this is why I never found a partner.

I had no idea when I started MDD, how much it would later engulf my life's goals and opportunities, such as relationships and a career. It heartens me that I could have found a way to stop it, before it made everything so much worse.

[Martha Bozic]

Were you able to stop?

[Silver Swan]

Yes, I was able to stop. I don't get into MDD anymore.

[Martha Bozic]

How?

[Silver Swan]

It took me a few years of healing, meditation, self-therapy and reflecting to get my mind back to health. Your going to feel very unsettled and maybe even creeped out at first. My jaw dropped when overlooking my past, as I had no perception of when on around me emotionally.