Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Hello, I'm new here. I've had severe MD for as long as I remember.
I wanted to know, how many of you were seriously harrassed and bullied at school, in a traumatizing way?
I was, in grades 1-4 and 7-9. I was constantly teased, harrassed and called a psycho or a retard.
To this day, I seriously struggle with social relationships and have a reputation round the area where I live for being a mentally ill weirdo... Most people who have met me in life are convinced I am mentally ill, drug addicted or retarded. This has all been very damaging to me, mentally.
In my whole life, there has only been one phase where I was a bit more normal, socially (grade 5 and 6) but even then, my few close friends thought I was a bit weird for different reasons. The rest of my life was and has been spent in isolation.
Thanks for any reply....
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I got bullied in middle school, Because i was ugly and very shy. And that changed me completly as a person.
And i am still not over it, And i don't think i will ever be over it.
Daydreaming was my escape, but it nearly turned my life into a nightmare. It actually made bullying even worse, turned people away from befriending me and my romantic life failed. It's funny, but I probably was better off not day dreaming.
I am almost a total loner, but I recovered from my MDD, so I don't have as many imaginary friends as I have before. I'm very glad too. I live with my family, and they always complain that I read aloud and talk aloud in my room. It sounds so weird to them, but for me, it's the way I naturally am.
I believe, I used to form imaginary friends, because I was born on the autism spectrum. It was very hard for me to connect with people and it was challenging for me to communicate with my peers, so they took me as stupid and so weird. I was hurt by being so withdrawn from crowds, and having very minimal friends that I created imaginary worlds for myself.
Reaching age 30, MDD began to put its effects on me. My brain just wasn't as young and healthy as it once was. So, I had to drop it. I still act funny in front of people from time to time. It does bother me, but it's hard to dispense.
Yes, in middle school, I was bullied by the entire school and neighboring schools for fooling around with a boy. I internalized it and thought it was my fault and became a people pleaser, then was bullied in college for being a virgin and for being "so easily swayed." I learned that you can't win with people.
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