immersing myself in daydreaming

[SJ]

I just wondered if any of you do the same. I've been living on my own for 6 months now and I am finding each evening I am immersing myself in my daydreams.
Currently my daydream is around an actor and when I go into my MD state I listen to music and pace which I know alot of people do.
But I also watch interviews and have tv shows on as I pace listening to music. It's like having him on the TV gives me a reference to how he looks and behaves while I pace.
I sometimes feel I am completely in the moment there are no distractions.
I fall asleep most nights with my laptop playing videos of him while I daydream about us together.
And it is always me and him I don't have a character it is always me as I am within my own home, with my real family and friends.
I know I do this because I am lonely as soon as I stop I suddenly am very aware of how alone I am and I hate it.

[Silver Swan]

Growing up, I used to day dream about my favorite actors all the time, especially when I was drawn to a cool role that they played in a movie. My fantasies with the actor would be romantic and sexual. My fantasies would be powerful when I lay in bed mornings and evenings. Oddly enough, these kind of fantasies are dwindling, because I'm mentally more drawn to seeking a real human relationship.

[SJ]

Thank you for your replies. I am curious both of you seem to using past tense. Have you been able to stop MDing or at least cut back on how much you use it? 

I know if I meet a real life partner that it would at the very least cut down my daydreaming a lot but at the same time at the moment it is holding me back as I don't want to let my fantasy of this person go. 

How did you move forward? I would love to cut down and live in the moment rather than being in reality and then wondering what th  moment would be like with my daydream crush. 

[Silver Swan]

Being in reality will not feel so bad, that is, when you cut down your day dreams. You will find reality a bit more tasteful as you merge in with it. Honestly, it took me a few years and I still struggle at being with reality today. I don't like everything about real life, personally. I still get disgusted by several aspects of reality, such as people's hideous attitudes and unpleasant expressions. Humans can be so repugnant sometimes. Their acidic language and uninviting disdain.

I've come to understand that not everybody is born with an imagination. They might think of us as weird or disgusting in their point of view. My mom actually revealed these feelings towards me. She just views the world with big eyes and prefers to hear about sufferings in other foreign countries. She just never lives in her had and never has. However, she can't accept that fact that I do and still finds me completely nuts.

What non-imaginers will never see is that we're alone. We need peoples love and affection and wish our crushes would finally notice that we exist and that we think of them a lot. A crush is a fantasy. Just because we deeply admire another person, doesn't mean that person will ultimately feel that way for us. We are just melting for their overall appearance and charm.
So this is why I stopped dreaming of celebrity crushes.

To be honest, I never completely day dreaming and it's still with me today. I just learned to restrain my urge to maladaptive day dreaming. It didn't help me get ahead and successful in life. It only made me delirious and out of contact with realism.
I was bothering, frustrating and upsetting my whole family—even non-family. It became so unsafe and a concern, distracting me and pulling me back from good opportunities, so I had no option but to suppress MDD.