My daydreaming

[Rose]

Hi, I’ve been daydreaming since I was very little. When I daydream I run back and forth in the house and I know it is not normal. It is just what I do when I daydream and I always have since I could walk. I’m 15 currently and my mom only knows that I run back and forth. She refers to it as my “running” and we don’t tell anyone. I don’t do it in front of anyone accept few family members. I never told anyone what the “running” really is about. It is about daydreaming. I daydream about all kinds of realities. It’d be hard to think of what  I haven’t daydreamed about. I let my mom think it’s because of anxiety or stress (it can sometimes be the case) but she doesn’t know about the daydreaming. I’ve only recently come across this site and I’m looking for answers about stopping daydreaming. I’ve been wanting to daydream instead of doing anything else since I’ve become older. My daydreaming has gotten worst and now it’s tremendously interfering with my schoolwork and my personal responsibilities. It has made me lazy. I constantly want to daydream! The only responsibilities I am not lazy about is taking care of my pets. When I’m bored I want to daydream, when I’m sad, angry, depressed, happy or excited. It’s like craving chocolate, except stronger. I don’t know how to stop! I don’t even know if I can stop or if I want to stop. I know it’d be healthier to stop or atleast reduce the urge to daydream. I’m not sure what to do....

[Diana Lombard]

I know what you mean, I'm going through the same thing. It gets really frustrating when I"m trying to study but my mind falls into a daydream every 5 minutes or so! And it gets worse when i'm stressed. 

I learned about MD very recently, and since, I've been forcing myself to stay connected with reality. When I catch myself daydreaming when I should be studying, I will snap back out of it, acknowledge it, and continue studying or whatever I was doing. 

remember real life is more important than the daydreams! Keep strong :)

[Rose]

Thank you, but for some reason I keep unconsciously  ignoring the fact that real life is more important

Diana Lombard said:

I know what you mean, I'm going through the same thing. It gets really frustrating when I"m trying to study but my mind falls into a daydream every 5 minutes or so! And it gets worse when i'm stressed. 

I learned about MD very recently, and since, I've been forcing myself to stay connected with reality. When I catch myself daydreaming when I should be studying, I will snap back out of it, acknowledge it, and continue studying or whatever I was doing. 

remember real life is more important than the daydreams! Keep strong :)

[Fishno7]

For some of us it is pretty hard to snap out from daydream itself directly. Don't blame yourself if you fail to do so, the process of making the change takes more than a day or a week.

Instead, try to find out why you are daydreaming, or why you need to daydream. MDs is usually triggered by undesirable events, embarassment/guilt on your own performance during work/school, or for me it is boredom at the start of my daydreams. In general, you can then take a step further to deal with the root issue or simply comfort yourself, maybe do some exercise, engaging in fun activities with your friends (so you don't MD) etc; these are also kind of a simpler way to make your brain get into real life, at least it is much easier to face the problems yourself directly.

Being at the age of 15 though, feelings is not really an easy thing to cope with for most people; I am in my 20s and I still don't think I did much improvement :P. If you can't find why you MD, it maybe worth to try to find some help from others; such as, your mom, from your post it sounds like she is pretty close to you. Try to get her understand that you have this thing called MD, and eventually if the result is not negative and denial, you may even try to find a therapist. However, be fully prepared if you try this, from my experience, I fail to get my parents to understand its significance to my daily life. Just don't be too overwhelmed if you are not understood, then things won't get worse (well, if you have the courage to follow this advise).

My last advise, and probably the best one so far;you should try to seek other forumers opinion first. Some of them are much more mature and experienced than me, while others have experience of seeking therapist and getting help. They would probably provide much detailed solution to your issue :)

[Silver Swan]

I used to be an a compulsive day dreamer and it practically ruined my life. All I ever did night and day was fantasize. My real life goals never came true. I never got to experience relationships with people, because instead of focusing on real life matters, all I wanted to do was day dream constantly. To be honest, I highly regretted every behaving that way. It greatly impacted my career life to an extent I hardly make a good living and can't afford my own house. Everybody even began to notice I had imaginary lives with imaginary friends, because I was continually talking my to myself and giggling for nothing. I just had absolutely no control. By the time I became an adult, I learned a very sad and tough lesson. You just can't get ahead in life living in a day dream. I missed out on so many opportunities and feel I really deserve it too. Now my life is in an RUT. Please don't let this happen to you. I would definitely stop it with therapy.

[Rose]

well I daydream when I want something or when I try to figure something out.. I use daydreaming to also cheer me up when things are stressful. Hanging out with friends might be good, but I don’t seem to always get along too well with other people for some reason. I also get very very stressed around people as well. I’m bad at being social but good enough at it  :/. I can’t tell my my mom anything truthfully about this because she’s very dramatic and weird. I regret telling her lots of personal things. I don’t think I’d want to eliminate day dreaming fully... I use it to my advantage in art work and literature. Are the techniques you are describing at the beginning for helping me get into a habit of focusing when day dreaming  is predicted to arise?

Fishno7 said:

For some of us it is pretty hard to snap out from daydream itself directly. Don't blame yourself if you fail to do so, the process of making the change takes more than a day or a week.

Instead, try to find out why you are daydreaming, or why you need to daydream. MDs is usually triggered by undesirable events, embarassment/guilt on your own performance during work/school, or for me it is boredom at the start of my daydreams. In general, you can then take a step further to deal with the root issue or simply comfort yourself, maybe do some exercise, engaging in fun activities with your friends (so you don't MD) etc; these are also kind of a simpler way to make your brain get into real life, at least it is much easier to face the problems yourself directly.

Being at the age of 15 though, feelings is not really an easy thing to cope with for most people; I am in my 20s and I still don't think I did much improvement :P. If you can't find why you MD, it maybe worth to try to find some help from others; such as, your mom, from your post it sounds like she is pretty close to you. Try to get her understand that you have this thing called MD, and eventually if the result is not negative and denial, you may even try to find a therapist. However, be fully prepared if you try this, from my experience, I fail to get my parents to understand its significance to my daily life. Just don't be too overwhelmed if you are not understood, then things won't get worse (well, if you have the courage to follow this advise).

My last advise, and probably the best one so far;you should try to seek other forumers opinion first. Some of them are much more mature and experienced than me, while others have experience of seeking therapist and getting help. They would probably provide much detailed solution to your issue :)

[Rose]

Well.. I do use daydreaming to my advantage in art and literature but sometimes it interferes with getting that work actually complete too. Also, how do I get a therapist? My mom can’t know about what this is so idk..

Silver Swan said:

I used to be an a compulsive day dreamer and it practically ruined my life. All I ever did night and day was fantasize. My real life goals never came true. I never got to experience relationships with people, because instead of focusing on real life matters, all I wanted to do was day dream constantly. To be honest, I highly regretted every behaving that way. It greatly impacted my career life to an extent I hardly make a good living and can't afford my own house. Everybody even began to notice I had imaginary lives with imaginary friends, because I was continually talking my to myself and giggling for nothing. I just had absolutely no control. By the time I became an adult, I learned a very sad and tough lesson. You just can't get ahead in life living in a day dream. I missed out on so many opportunities and feel I really deserve it too. Now my life is in an RUT. Please don't let this happen to you. I would definitely stop it with therapy.

[Silver Swan]

My mom isn't the best person in the world to discuss my day dreaming. She literally thinks that I am crazy. My dad is more perceptive and thinks it's a part of my creative gift. My sister is just mean and snobby towards me. Everyone else is not too sure about me  either and their opinions vary. I have no friends who know about my MDD and I'm too scared to ever admit it. I do use my day dreaming as an tool for art and literature, but it's mortifying everywhere else, especially in the workforce.

[Rose]

Yeah... family can really be an issue...my mom would propbably think I was crazy then become paranoid about it affecting her somehow