I'm new at this...

[Natalie;]

Only recently I decided to look this up on the internet and came across this forum thing! I'm 20 years old and think I should share my story...

I've done this ever since I was little and always believed I would grow out of it, but now i've recently turned 20 and it still happens. I (kind of) have accepted it. I'm at university at the moment and it didn't happen very often as I was happy, but recently found out my boyfriend had been cheating on me (and some family problems arose) and now it's worse that ever and it really is affecting my degree. Part of me wanted to go to the doctors cause I don't want it affecting my life, but for now, I suppose there is nothing they can do. The 'triggers' are just so tempting I can't fight them, even though I know I should. I spose to my mum about it and she said ever since I was little I would 'zone' out and stuff. But I had a pretty terrible childhood with my dad leaving me and my family never really talking to me, I was always pretty much alone, so I suppose I may have started doing it to entertain myself or enter an escapism so I didn't have to deal with the problems in the real world. However, I did get decent grades and am at university, and I have friends and have had relationships, so on a social side it doesn't affect me (that much). However sometimes I do feel like I am floating around not really taking anything in (my friends just think I've got a short attention span xD which is probabaly true aswell) It's comforting knowing i'm not the only one, I used to think it was like the Truman show and people were wathcing me daydreaming.. which is weird I know. I really hope it becomes recognised in the next few years and more research is done so we know more! As I would love to be able to fully control it and get on with my lifee...

 

thanks guys :)

x

[Soundz]

I also seem to trigger it when I am not happy or satisfied with something. Seems like until the problem is solved we can't stop really.