Recovering from MD is difficult

[Silver Swan]

My head is starting to clear up and I am making more sense out of my former fantasies. However, I am waking up to this isolating, uneventful and friendless life. I almost never travel anywhere. Although, I do look at social meetups and events in my area, I really suck at committing to them. I'm afraid new people will not find me 'OK' or really weird, or not even like me. I have a very silent personality. I have a degree in computer graphics, but most times I usually worked at home, doing a one-person business in my room.

It might sound weird, but I spent the past 8 years just tramping along the woodland and waterfront area of my hometown, getting lost in my MDD. I was too sweaty about going on plane trips to far destinations, even on a train and shuttle bus. My MDD used to cloud my attention span, I'd hear music and see images, so I tended to forget items and remind myself to do important things. Also, it wasn't like I had any buds around to invite me to these things.

Now my head is clearer. However, I overlook 15-20 years that could've looked much better, if I was fully awake and with it. As this is a tough lesson learned, I hope to move this forward into the future and still see much better things. Nobody wants to stay trapped in a certain situation and not be able to know why. Well, I certainly do now. Good for me.

[Lauren]

Hi, sorry to ask this, but what did you do to help your head get clearer. I'm really struggling with it at the moment. I've already wasted 4 1/2 years of my life doing it and i'm worried that if i keep going i'll just be stuck in my head for the rest of my life.

Again sorry for asking this and it's perfectly fine if you don't want to answer - i'm just curious on how to can start getting it to stop

Thanks heaps in advanced 

[Silver Swan]

You must start getting serious towards life. DO something that is highly responsible and somewhat challenging that even mature people find tricky. I got myself into a lead position of a company and the experience changed my mindset forever.
I have it hard at home all the same. I am surrounded by stern and demanding female relatives who constantly boss me around. I feel I have to watch my actions and listen to them all the time. It's just, your life needs a load of discipline! Day dreamers tend to think everything can be as airy fairy as they want. Usually, they wind up with having low lives in the end. Unfortunately, to have a really successful life, you have to be in one world at once. People are always throwing instructions and reminders in your face, and they expect you immediately heard and understood them. It's always been this way in history!

If anything else, I had the pants scared out of myself. I overlooked a past that caused me to be poor and unsuccessful. I used to be immature in my youth, so I made stupid and impractical moves. Now, I am re-planning the next steps in my career path, while working in a contract job that pays low income. My dad is persuading me to make all sorts of new decisions. Overall, I am on my very own in life. There's no male partner or anybody to support me, but only me.