Love life

[Ele]

Hi,
I'm new here nice to meet you all.
I recently discovered about maladaptive daydreaming and everything finally made sense.
One thing I wanted to ask, have anyone of you experienced problems with love and relationships?
I'll explain better, I always wanted to fell in love and have a boyfriend, so much that I created various characters in my head to daydream about, but every time something real might happen, even if at the beginning I kinda felt something, I start to feel disgusted by the other person and go back immediately to the daydreams.
Has anyone experienced something similar?
(sorry if I eventually make some grammar mistakes, English is not my first language)

[Sierra Paris]

And he also knows of my main character who I see through having relationships as well which I usually feel weird about, but hey, sometimes you just have to break through embarrassing barriers. 

[Aquafirewolf]

Hello Ele,

I have the very same problem. I am 22 years old and never had a boyfriend. I really want to fall in love with someone but I want them to be the man I created in my head which, I know will never happen. I really want to stop MDing and find a real partner. I truly hope that all of us meet that special person one day. I wish everyone the best and if you celebrate Christmas happy holidays. We will all somehow conquer this together.  Best wish's everyone.

From,

Aqua

[Ele]

@Prathiksha and Jessica Ballantyne 

don't worry you are not alone, I'm 23 and I've never been in a relationship unless it's something I've created myself. none of you is wrong or less than anyone else, we are just different. I know it's hard sometimes to see others have normal and healthy relationships, but I hope everyone here to feel better by knowing that they are not alone in the world... at least it helped me somehow.

@ Dee 

what you say kinda gives me hope, because ,being so addicted to daydreaming, I've always subconsciously thought that finding someone would have put an end tho that. and that freaked me out because dreams are my way to cope with anxiety and sadness, even tho they come with a bag of other problems. so knowing that is possible to be in a relationship and yet not lose this part of yourself it's a good news. thank you so much for sharing that.

[SJ]

I have had 1 significant relationship that ended over 5 years ago which only started as he was really confident and sort of pushed himself into my life (not in a bad way).
I use to daydream when we were apart about other relationships with mainly celebrities. It would get a lot worse when things were going wrong as it would help me cope. I can relate to what you are saying someone tried to set me up on a blind date and weirdly I kept thinking about my dd guy and how I didn't want to lose him and ended up making an excuse not to go.
It's scary being with someone in reality. The relationships in our head we can control everything. In real life there is no control our emotions are completely on the line.
I would like to meet someone in the future and be able to hold on to my dd guy until I feel I no longer need him.

[Milana]

Hi everyone!
I always assumed I was the only one going through this... I'm 21, never had a boy or girlfriend either :/ I just found out about this website and reading all your messages feels so great, because I am now finding out I'm not alone and might even get into a real relationship someday ;)
Do you base your dreams relationships on people you know in real life? 
I do, and it makes it really hard to act around them sometimes because I feel some kind of intimacy even though I know it's not real, and I feel something really strong to them, and end up desappointed....
I also feel kinda guilty as well, as if I was playing with them in my mind as some kind of dolls.

But I feel like it's important for our balance to keep dreaming, and we can't just give up on it, we probably have to draw better the line between dream and reality and convince not only the head that it's not real... I hope some day we will ^^
I hope you guys are all doing great, wishing you the best ^^

[Silver Swan]

I used to do this for years, since I was 12 years old. I was disgusted or uninterested with anybody I met in real life. I just had
no feelings for them, so I used characters based on celebrities I used to have crushes on, because they were better looking.
However, I went for many years without experiencing relationships with real guys, in exchange, I had imaginary relationships that would fade over time and renew themselves with another face. To be honest, I still catch myself doing this once and a while, but not as often as I used to. In fact, I am more interested in pursuing a real relationship with a real guy....

[Paul Rapp]

This is a sensitive subject for me, but why not. Let's take it on.

For me relationships have been a problem for most of my life, romantic relationships in particular. In my youth most of my romantic relationships were entirely in my head. If I was attracted to someone, I made her a character in my daydreaming fantasies. It was never the real person, just an idealized character with her face and name. 

In later years I would actually try to make the relationship real, and was usually rejected. After the rejection, I would have a fantasy relationship with the character of her that I created. In those rare instances where I was not rejected immediately and attempted a real-life relationship, it never went very far. So I started dating women that were more receptive to me, and they tended not to be the sort of girls I had fantasies about, and I rarely ever had fantasies about them. Those didn't work out, either, for various different reasons that may have had nothing to do with MD, or maybe because I was still more emotionally invested in the fantasy characters.

Most of my relationships never lasted longer than a half a year or so. I did have a few long term ones, but they ended eventually in disappointment.

I met my wife late in life after I stopped having fantasy relationships with characters of my own creation. While I can't say that the relationship is ideal, it is the longest romantic relationship of my life, mutually supportive, more happy than  not, and I certainly hope that it will continue for the rest of my life.

[BaNNY]

Hey guys,

So I'm 18, bisexual and have never been in a serious relation ship. It hurts my soul, because I get pretty lonely and I think I'm semi-ready for love. So I'm looking for someone who'll get me and who I can trust to be there for me even if I'm difficult. I'll be there for then too of course. Wouldn't it be genius if people on this site would find each other?