Daydreams integrating into reality?

[Bella Valenti]

I've been a maladaptive daydreamer for a very long time now, and it has both hindered and helped me in many ways. However, the biggest hindrance that has recently emerged is that the lines between daydream and reality have become blurred. It has helped me because I don't have to space out to see that dream, but rather, I can "see" my characters in real life. I still daydream very, very frequently, but the lucid daydreams have become increasingly frequent.  

      For example, I'll be sitting in class, and suddenly, I'm back in my advanced english class, being evaluated for a more advanced program by one of my characters. I'm still me, and everyone else is still there, and the work is the same, but my characters become present as well. The weirdest part is that my characters aren't really seen, they're almost imagined in a sense. Kind of like how you can picture a gigantic tower being built when looking at an open field, but not truly seeing it. I can hear them conversing to me in my head, and I'll have a conversation with them without actually talking.

   I really hope you get what I'm trying to say, because it's incredibly difficult to explain. I can't not see them either, they are always present, kind of like how you can walk beside somebody in silence and still be aware of their presence. It's very odd, and I was wondering if anyone has experienced that or if anyone is willing to share their thoughts on it.

[Eretaia]

“Who is the third who walks always beside you?
When I count, there are only you and I together
But when I look ahead up the white road
There is always another one walking beside you
Gliding wrapt in a brown mantle, hooded
I do not know whether a man or a woman
-But who is that on the other side of you?”
― T.S. Eliot

Ever heard of that strange phenomenon when sailors or climbers in extreme cases of isolation fully experience presence of someone not there? When one is put in extreme isolation (physical and/or emotional), the brain may react by producing an actual sense of presence of another person that is not there that you can actually sense as if it were 100% reality. Of course, that's a full-blown hallucination there (occurring in a healthy brain) and MD is of course far from that but the point is: when the sensory threshold is lowered and you're not taking in information from the outside world because you're isolated emotionally/can't connect with reality/zoning out, the brain must compensate for the lack of stimulation and will sometimes create an imaginary one instead. If you're zoning out so hard and feel emotionally isolated at the same time, I'd see what you're mentioning as a perfect way of compensation. It's nothing to worry about in itself but maybe it does indicate that you're so cut off from reality that your brain is so desperate to give you the stimulation you otherwise aren't getting. Does this make any sense to you?

[Bella Valenti]

Eretaia said:

“Who is the third who walks always beside you?
When I count, there are only you and I together
But when I look ahead up the white road
There is always another one walking beside you
Gliding wrapt in a brown mantle, hooded
I do not know whether a man or a woman
-But who is that on the other side of you?”
― T.S. Eliot

Ever heard of that strange phenomenon when sailors or climbers in extreme cases of isolation fully experience presence of someone not there? When one is put in extreme isolation (physical and/or emotional), the brain may react by producing an actual sense of presence of another person that is not there that you can actually sense as if it were 100% reality. Of course, that's a full-blown hallucination there (occurring in a healthy brain) and MD is of course far from that but the point is: when the sensory threshold is lowered and you're not taking in information from the outside world because you're isolated emotionally/can't connect with reality/zoning out, the brain must compensate for the lack of stimulation and will sometimes create an imaginary one instead. If you're zoning out so hard and feel emotionally isolated at the same time, I'd see what you're mentioning as a perfect way of compensation. It's nothing to worry about in itself but maybe it does indicate that you're so cut off from reality that your brain is so desperate to give you the stimulation you otherwise aren't getting. Does this make any sense to you?

That would make a lot of sense. I've got very intense anxiety, and because of that I've developed depression. I've kind of drifted away from the people in my life over the years and I suppose that would influence my MD in ways I wouldn't consider. Thank you so much, now that you mention it, it makes much more sense now. Thanks again! 

  - Bella