Daydreaming with a roommate

[Laura]

I am going back for my second year of college in a few days and as much as I love it, I'm still nervous. My biggest problem last year was not being able to daydream, at least not the way I used to. I have a roommate who is definitely my best friend and I know I'm lucky, but I can only daydream when she isn't there. Now at home, the way I've done it for years, is outside on my swing in the dark. The best I could do last year was pace in the room whenever she was gone which was usually during the day. Still, it didn't feel the same.

I know a lot of people here want to get rid of their daydreaming, which I get, but I personally don't want to. I think that it's helped me a lot and inspired me to follow my dreams and make my own life as interesting and as fun to where I don't NEED to constantly daydream. I don't know. I like it, I think it's a powerful thing, and it's gotten me through a lot. Sure it would be easier without it but as of now, I don't plan on stopping completely.

I just don't know how to cope without being able to have a scheduled daydreaming time. I was wondering exactly what some of you do when you daydream. I swing, pace if I have to... I know some people tap their hands, rock in a rocking chair, ect. If anyone's ever had to go through a change like this that affected your daydreaming, I'd love any advice.

Thank you!

[Dan Pop]

Before I would just pace furiously unless I was in school or something, then just a fidget with a blank look maybe. Although if I was envisioning playing an instrument I'd scrunch up my lips as if buzzing in a mouthpiece... Then I got a stupid phone, and music greaaaat... So for whatever odd reason I got really attached to this particular genre of fiction and have taken to blaring parts I like over and over whilst emulating a mock fight or whatever... Which looks like bad dancing/dabbing... Ironically I realized I maybe had some sort of problem after not being to stop despite aching ringing ears. Anyyyyways I'm in the exact situation with the roomie xD. I pace dab like hell at home visits. I only really do it cause my life is just incredibly dull. But whenever I come with a new character, I find myself taking on some of the characteristics irl so its not bad :D aside from going deaf in like 5 years

[Dan Pop]

Oh right advice, if lots of movements your thing, try sublimating it in the gym, go on a treadmill, cycle or even like a kickboxing class ir whatever. Key is to find a balance between effective enough and slow/not too exertful so you can still dd

[Laura]

Great idea with the gym, there's one in my building. I go to school in NYC so even though I could walk, I have to be pretty alert on the streets. I just hope I don't make faces or laugh at something in my DD.

Dan Pop said:

Oh right advice, if lots of movements your thing, try sublimating it in the gym, go on a treadmill, cycle or even like a kickboxing class ir whatever. Key is to find a balance between effective enough and slow/not too exertful so you can still dd

[debbie downer]

i'm currently going through the same thing. i'm also in my second year of college-- school starts in a few weeks for me (#quartersystemproblems). last year, i was in a dorm with roommates that i barely talked to, but this year, i'm going to be in a somewhat spacious apartment with some good friends of mine. i was able to pace in my dorm room last year when my roommates weren't there (pacing has always been my go-to way to daydream), but sometimes, i would also pace in the study room on my floor, which was closed off and only had one small window, so others couldn't see.

i have a feeling that this year, daydreaming-wise, is going to be different in a few ways. last year, as a whole, i daydreamed less than i ever have. my best guess is that it was because i was in a relationship (my first real relationship btw), so my real life boyfriend was occupying my thoughts rather than my daydream guy. we broke up after school ended, and my daydreaming escalated. it makes me wonder if i'll be able to daydream the same amount when i'm in my apartment or if i'll go crazy from not being able to. my roommates will surely be more understanding and less judgmental if they somehow catch me doing it (which my previous roommates never did) because we are friends. plus, there is much more space to move around, which will make pacing easy. my main concern, though, is the neighbors. our apartment building is over 100 years old and has very thin walls and floors. of course, we weren't lucky enough to get the bottom floor. :) the walls/floors in my dorm last year were surprisingly very good at keeping out sound, but i know i'll have an issue with it this year. the neighbors will definitely be able to hear me pacing. the problem might not be as bad as i think it will be, though, because i'll be much busier this year with juggling work on top of school and extracurriculars. who knows if i'll even have time to pace?

best of luck for the school year, feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about daydreaming or college struggles.

[Laura]

I've been here for like 5 days now and haven't really felt a need to daydream. I still do it a lot, like when I shower or walk down the street, but it's just basic stuff. Like I pretend to be my characters walking down the street or since all my characters are celebrities, them doing interviews. Idk, simple stuff to keep my mind occupied, not the bigger stories I would usually make. That's what I need pacing for. Even when my roommate isn't here I haven't tried to do it and honestly, I want to see how long I can go without feeling the need. Pacing never felt as fulfilling but it's my best option here. I think I COULD be just as satisfied with pacing if I wasn't so used to the swinging. I get the need to save my good ideas for when I'm at home. I don't know, it's weird.

We had a similar room but I was too worried someone would come in. I never even thought about people hearing me pacing but I doubt they could, I haven't heard anyone walking or anything so we may be fine. My roommate knows about it and I don't think judges me but it's still weird for me. I've been fine so far but I still worry.

Thanks!!

meghan said:

i'm currently going through the same thing. i'm also in my second year of college-- school starts in a few weeks for me (#quartersystemproblems). last year, i was in a dorm with roommates that i barely talked to, but this year, i'm going to be in a somewhat spacious apartment with some good friends of mine. i was able to pace in my dorm room last year when my roommates weren't there (pacing has always been my go-to way to daydream), but sometimes, i would also pace in the study room on my floor, which was closed off and only had one small window, so others couldn't see.

i have a feeling that this year, daydreaming-wise, is going to be different in a few ways. last year, as a whole, i daydreamed less than i ever have. my best guess is that it was because i was in a relationship (my first real relationship btw), so my real life boyfriend was occupying my thoughts rather than my daydream guy. we broke up after school ended, and my daydreaming escalated. it makes me wonder if i'll be able to daydream the same amount when i'm in my apartment or if i'll go crazy from not being able to. my roommates will surely be more understanding and less judgmental if they somehow catch me doing it (which my previous roommates never did) because we are friends. plus, there is much more space to move around, which will make pacing easy. my main concern, though, is the neighbors. our apartment building is over 100 years old and has very thin walls and floors. of course, we weren't lucky enough to get the bottom floor. :) the walls/floors in my dorm last year were surprisingly very good at keeping out sound, but i know i'll have an issue with it this year. the neighbors will definitely be able to hear me pacing. the problem might not be as bad as i think it will be, though, because i'll be much busier this year with juggling work on top of school and extracurriculars. who knows if i'll even have time to pace?

best of luck for the school year, feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about daydreaming or college struggles.

[Aquarius]

Know that your MDD will be noticed. The mostly likely comment you will hear is "She/he talks to herself". You will figure out the timings and patterns of others movements, so there will be small pockets of pacing time. But you will MDD mostly under your duvet.

In a way its good that you will have roommates around, it will keep your MDD in check.

[Laura]

I don't do it around my roommate. I do it in the shower usually, just because I have to have my body occupied to do it. I pace only when she is at class or work. And of course, at night before bed. But she wouldn't notice.

Yeah I think it's a good thing, too. I'm learning how to manage it a lot better. I've improved so much since last year.

Aquarius said:

Know that your MDD will be noticed. The mostly likely comment you will hear is "She/he talks to herself". You will figure out the timings and patterns of others movements, so there will be small pockets of pacing time. But you will MDD mostly under your duvet.

In a way its good that you will have roommates around, it will keep your MDD in check.

[Connie C.]

I have recently learned that I can disguise my MDD as meditation. (I am 60 and my need to pace during MDD has lessened over the years.) Can you MDD without moving? If so, just tell people you are meditating. People will admire you for your discipline and spirituality! Is there a chapel on campus? That might be a good place to "meditate."

If you need some type of repetitive motion you may want to get a set of inexpensive prayer beads. It is basically a bracelet with big beads and they are used by many religions. You can run the beads through your fingers and this can give you the feeling of repetitive movement. Search for "prayer beads" on Amazon and you will see what I mean. I hope this helps.

[Laura]

 No chapel. I go to school in Manhattan so we don't have as much. Thanks for you advice! I feel like MDD is kind of meditation anyways.  I'll look into the prayer beads, thank you!

Connie C. sai

I have recently learned that I can disguise my MDD as meditation. (I am 60 and my need to pace during MDD has lessened over the years.) Can you MDD without moving? If so, just tell people you are meditating. People will admire you for your discipline and spirituality! Is there a chapel on campus? That might be a good place to "meditate."

If you need some type of repetitive motion you may want to get a set of inexpensive prayer beads. It is basically a bracelet with big beads and they are used by many religions. You can run the beads through your fingers and this can give you the feeling of repetitive movement. Search for "prayer beads" on Amazon and you will see what I mean. I hope this helps.