How to stop caring so much about the real lives of my characters (celebrities)?

[Grace]

It has been so long since I've been on in here, posting something is actually making me a little anxious, but I don't know where else to ask and get responses that would actually help:

I've posted before about my world, and that I always use real people as my characters. Now since then they've actually changed, even after staying the same for five entire years (which is insane, I thought I was stuck).

My old characters were on YouTube, and I never saw much information about them. It was very easy to avoid. I just ignored it.

BUT. My new ones are celebrities, the girl being pretty well-known (like 5m followers on ig), and the guy not as much (like 500k), but the guy is my real problem as usual.

I believe I tend to get even more closely attached to my main male simply bc I'm straight I guess, and I CANNOT help but care way too intensley what he's doing, who he's doing it with, why he's doing it, where, etc etc, and it is the most draining thing ever bc I can't exactly avoid information about him.

I have a fanpage for him and the girl, and the tv show they were on together, and I follow accounts that post about him. (These people are my friends, can't really just unfollow, can't mute people on instagram, and enjoy editing too much to just deactivate.)

But I have this problem where if he does anything that I am not 100% in support of, it makes me feel like I'm going to die, not being dramatic either. My anxiety just ruins me when I see new things about him that I don't like.

He's also gonna be in movies and tv shows that I know the basic plot of and it terrifies me to see him play such a role, bc the version of him I want to believe in is more a little more... wholesome I guess. I know that's BS but I can't help thinking that way and wanting it that way.

I recognize wholeheartedly my idea of him is complete fantasy and not who he truly is, but when I tell myself that, it doesn't make it hurt less.

What can I do, maybe something I can say to myself that will help me just care a little less about what he's doing? Does anyone else have this problem?

[OhMyMagenta]

This is mainly the reason why I don't use real people in my DD's. If I got super into an actor, I'd research him, see all their movies, & watch/read interviews. It got too upsetting to read articles or see things online that were 'off-script' for them. If said 'thing' was particularly deplorable/offensive, there have been times where I've lost interest altogether. With our societal over-saturation of media, it's next to impossible to not be exposed to something negative. My DD love interests tend to be characters on TV/movies that I shape to fit my DD scenario. Perhaps you can treat this person as though he is a character that you can change, or make it seem like they're just acting out a part. If it's fiction, you can manipulate it however you want. Not sure if this was even remotely helpful...

[Lynn E.]

I must say that I have had many actors as fantasy characters but there was one that I could not  (would not ) get over.

I would buy the DVD movies and watch them over and over or watch a TV re-run and change other characters in the program.

This lasted for about 4 or 5 years. It got got so bad that at times I would experience dizziness after being in that fantasy 

trance-like state for 2-3 hrs (or more) at a time. It was horrible !!! I believe I got delivered from this particular fantasy through prayer. Having someone pray with me and intercede before God on my behalf is what I truly believe was my deliverance.

I didn't know what my problem was at the time (I didn't know that it was MDD) ,so i couldn't tell minister what type of deliverance to pray for . But in asking for special personal prayer  for me WORKED. God knew what I needed and was asking for,...and He answered my request. I have had more challenges since then,..but I found that through this journey (this process) of complete deliverance ,we must trust in God and pray everyday!!!   I have had MDD for over 60 yrs. ..of course I didn't know what it was until just recently. I pray every day for victory  and a covering over my mind.  

I will say a prayer for you that God will intervene for you and deliver you,  because MD keeps us from living in reality,  we only exist ,... and we waist  so much of our precious time, and never fulfill our destiny in life !

 You are one of a kind ....you have gifts and talents inside you that have not been tapped into... waiting to be a blessing to so many people   ( in reality).          Note:   please read  Psalms 91  everyday   ....... it will bless you

[Aj]

I absolutely relate to feeling like you're going to die when they do something that doesn't match your fantasy version of them. I don't know if this applies to you or if you ever feel this way, but I recently realized that much of my struggle with MDD is because I still feel guilty/ashamed about having MDD. I often feel bad because, like you said, I know it's BS but it still really hurts so then I get thoughts that I'm weak and crazy. So one thing that has helped me a bit is to tell myself things like, "I'm experiencing MDD right now. I have a fantasy version of a real person in my head, and when that real person does something that does not match my fantasy, it makes me feel sad and anxious. And that's OK." And then I just let myself feel the sad/anxious feelings rather than try to fight them, and eventually they just drift away. It's pretty difficult (especially at first), and I don't know if it sounds like it'd be helpful at all to you or if you even struggle with guilt at all, but I thought I'd mention it because it's helped me a little. 

[Kay M]

Im glad I don't daydream about celebrities. The majority of my characters are my own creation, and the ones who are based on real people have drifted off enough from their real selves that they are more my own creation now....their real lives don't get into it because the point of my daydream is that it is in an alternate universe, and things are slightly different. In this universe, my crush is bisexual, but in real life she is straight, she also doesn't like cats in real life, but in my alternate universe, she lets me have 10 of them.

I think maybe the best way to get around it is to see it as an alternate universe them that is different enough for their opinions to have changed on things you find objectionable or doesn't agree with your daydream, or that maybe they aren't dating who they are dating because in your alternate universe, they happened to not meet.

[Stasia OBrien]

This is what my MDD consists of as well. I get so infatuated...but my MDD is me being in a relationship with the male and when/if he gets a gf in reality, it devastates me.

I don't have any answers unfortunately, I wish I did b/c it consumes me to the point where I cannot focus on anything and the constant state of anxiety and despair is overwhelming.

I am starting to work with my therapist to help my MDD - if he gives me any good tips, tools or steps to follow, I will let you know!

Hang in there.

S

[Laura]

I deal with this daily. I have even met some of the actors that my DD characters are heavily based on. I've met I guess like... 4 actors that are main characters. All were fine except one and maybe because that particular character is newer and is pretty true to the real actor's life. Also they look the EXACT same whereas most of the others, I've had them so long the faces kind of blur idk.

But yes, that's the character/person that gets to me the most, I'm guessing for the reasons above. I still hate seeing her post/talk about her real boyfriend only because he isn't who it is in my head which I KNOW makes no sense, yet it still just... bothers me. I know the real actress and my character are two completely different things even if I kept the same look, name, resume, and mostly the same life story (obviously I don't know everything about said celebrity but like... what I do know I just keep the same. It's easier). I wish more than anything I hadn't have based my characters off real celebrities but I started so young... My main character is based off multiple celebrities and I don't even have a specified look for her (well I know she has brown hair, blue eyes, ect, but no particular face). Since she's a morph of so many celebrities and I've had her for so long and changed so much, I never have problems with her. In fact, I named her after Emma Roberts (the real actress) because I made this character when I was maybe 8 or 9 and Emma had that kids show Unfabulous on and it's the first thing I thought of. Now I can't stand the actress at all and other than the name she shares no qualities with my character. 

My point is, through personal experience, I think the more similar the character is to the real celebrity, the more it will bother you. I try changing my thinking and telling myself it literally does not matter what the real actress does because I will always have control over my character yet it doesn't work. I'm an extremely logical person but I can't think my way out of this. If I do though, I will share.

[Stasia OBrien]

I get the same way. The reality has to match my MDD or it doesn't work and I am not happy. I wish so badly I could just say, "oh well, I'll just change my dream" LOL. Doesn't work. It is very very frustrating. I know what you're feeling.

And I don't think I ever consciously decided what my MDD was about - it just happened and it has been the way it has been. It's like, I don't have don't have control over it at all - in other words, I can't just change what my MDD'ing is about...it doesn't work that way for me. It has always been about being an actress and having famous friends and dating a celeb. It's just what it is you know? I wish my MDD was completely fictional. Every time I try to change it, I am unfulfilled and miserable. It just doesn't work.