Coming out of a daydream...

[Jenn]

Hi all,

I'm fairly new to Wild Minds, but I have done a lot of research and personal introspection on MD. I read Etetaia's post on curing MD from last year, and it was like I was reading some of my own thoughts.  I used it to stop daydreaming for about a month...and then I went on a trip to visit my parents (always a huge trigger for me because that house is where my MD started) and they hit me full force again.  I'm 36 years old and I'm tired of being so stuck in my head and spending so much time with my daydream people that I don't interact with real people.  Part of my problem is that I am incredibly socially anxious and awkward, and I always have a problem knowing what to say to people. In the past, it has always just been easier to rely on my daydreams and the people in them who understand me and where I always know the perfect thing to say.  But I'm beginning to see how lonely my daydreams really are, and how they aren't as fulfilling as I thought. Sure, in the moment they are! But then I have days like yesterday where I feel like I'm coming out of a daydream...where I fully realize that I'm not there and they aren't here and I'm not that person that I'm pretending to be...and then I have days of depression from all the reality. So that's where I am now...coming out of a daydream and trying to stop being sad while I also try and make my reality something that I would like to live in without relying on the MD. 

Does anyone else experience this? A deep feeling of loss and sadness when you realize that the daydreams aren't real? I want to stop them, and a main reason for that is because I want to stop feeling this way. But I also want to connect with real people and not just be talking to people who don't exist.....

So now that I've poured my mind out...LOL! :)  I just wanted to say that I'm glad I found Wild Minds, and I hope that I can find help here.

[Sage]

Jenn
I'm experiencing everything you are. I have awful social anxiety. I can barely function in public. I get nervous and sweaty and I can't make eye contact. I asked my therapist had she heard of MDD and she said no. When I showed her this site she said it's just a vivid imagination. Duh. Its nice to know I'm not alone although I'm sorry you're going through this. I seriously thought I was schizophrenic.

[Aj]

I also experience depression/grief when I realize they aren't real. However, I'm starting to think that a lot (or at least some) of the awful feelings I get when I'm "coming out of a daydream" stem from shame over having MD rather than just sadness that the daydreams aren't real; not only do I feel sad that they aren't real, but I feel bad about feeling sad they aren't real. So lately when I get that sadness, I try to tell myself something like, "I had a daydream, and now I realize it's not real, and that makes me sad, and that's OK." And that has actually made the process of coming out of a daydream a little easier (and less sad) for me. 

[Jenn]

Aj,

That is a really great point that I hadn't thought about before, but there is definitely something to be said about the depression I feel being from the shame and regret of letting myself get pulled back into my daydreams.  A large part of that for me also has to do with feeling like I have neglected what is going on with my friends and family while I'm in my daydreams.  Thanks for the tips! :)

Sage,

That is horrible that your therapist seemed to dismiss the idea of MD.  While I know a lot of people haven't heard about it, including mental health professionals, I think as a therapist she should have at least acknowledged that this is something that bothers you.

Aj said:

I also experience depression/grief when I realize they aren't real. However, I'm starting to think that a lot (or at least some) of the awful feelings I get when I'm "coming out of a daydream" stem from shame over having MD rather than just sadness that the daydreams aren't real; not only do I feel sad that they aren't real, but I feel bad about feeling sad they aren't real. So lately when I get that sadness, I try to tell myself something like, "I had a daydream, and now I realize it's not real, and that makes me sad, and that's OK." And that has actually made the process of coming out of a daydream a little easier (and less sad) for me.