Causes and Effects.

[Bud Ice Penguin]

I was bullied and attacked as a small kid for being different, and to deal with the anxiety and pain I invented a world where I could get my new drug of choice- approval- from made up crowds in my mind.

I believe that for maladaptive daydreamers, they  daydream fantasy worlds inhabited by people who approve accept and are in awe of them as a way to numb out the pain of rejection, loneliness and social anxiety.

Daydreaming for me never comes  without a form of physical stereotypy (repeated physical movement) just like that old study said. I'll post the link later, but it says stereotypy is a form of hypnotic induction.

My triggers are boredom, and insecure thoughts, which I bolster with daydreams of my idealized self.

These daydreams create a negative feedback loop, one by soothing me with a "positive" dream of being accepted- which also serves to negatively reinforce ideas of the world being cruel and unaccepting.

Every now and then, a person crosses our path that gives us pure, uncut acceptance, and we may become obsessed with that person.

Either way we all share social anxiety and fear social events. Better to invent approval than risk rejection. But the key here is approval. All our daydreams- sexual, idealized self (being worthy to others) and violence (showing us as a force to be reckoned with) goes back to this. 

I think I've mapped it all out and I'm at the end of my rope.

Thoughts?

[Harper Rays]

This is an eloquent and clear cut explanation for why we daydream. I found this site about 5 years ago, and was on here as "Creator". I wrote a paper about this affliction for a class I was in, but I mainly chose to write it as a way to catalogue my own thoughts about my constant daydreaming. The points I made in that paper were good at the time, but as the years went by and I watched my patterns and learned more about the ego and the psyche, I realized that there were so many other things to say about why we dream. Recently, I decided I wanted to come back and share what I've learned about daydreaming and what it does for those of us who dream almost addictively... But it seems you've beat me to the punch! 

As you've said, approval is the biggest motivator, and arguably the only motivator for constant daydreaming. When you get into who and what we dream of, that's where it gets more personal as far as exactly why we do it. I, for example, latched on to a sort of cartoon universe when I was a child. Other people's daydreams are more versatile, and their characters may flux with the situations they create. 

I love that you also mentioned the violence aspect of dreaming, and how it shows us as being strong to no one but ourselves. But that in itself brings up the question: 

Are we craving approval from the outside world? Or are we craving approval from the inside world-- as in, our own egos...? I mean, you could say that one feeds the other... It's debatable. But my constant question in life has been "why do I have to do this?" And self-love has seemed to be the answer I get, time after time. 

[Bud Ice Penguin]

We are craving approval from the "outside world"- other human beings, by creating a "inside world" populated with people who will approve and love us. So, in a way, we create a need in our egos to be approved- but then we get into semantics.

I really would like to see more people respond to this post and post any therapy/drug sessions they think would work
 
Harper Rays said:

Are we craving approval from the outside world? Or are we craving approval from the inside world-- as in, our own egos...? I mean, you could say that one feeds the other... It's debatable. But my constant question in life has been "why do I have to do this?" And self-love has seemed to be the answer I get, time after time. 

[Bud Ice Penguin]

If anyone is Christian on the site, there's a few eye opening books:

Freedom from Fear, When People are Big and God is Small

And the big one: Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyer. Even if you aren't religious, everyone eon this site should read this book.

[Bud Ice Penguin]

Sure.

If this maladaptive daydreaming is a thing, and we are it's adherents, this is our catechism:

http://www.somer.co.il/articles/2002Malaptdaydr.contemp.psych.pdf

This is, to my knowledge, the first instance of the phrase "maladaptive daydreaming".

Also, a handy Atlantic article detailing Sigmund Freud's work on the matter, and her stuggles with it.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/04/when-daydreaming-...
 
Girl who dreams said:

Hey,John

thanks for recommendations.

Can you send the link about that study that u read? (.. but it says stereotypy is a form of hypnotic induction.)