I need help letting go.

[Marianella]

I've had many different fantasies. The one I'm currently in is getting old. I could get rid of it, if it weren't for Adam. Adam is an imaginary boy who has been in ALL of my "worlds." In a nutshell, he's the perfect best friend, boyfriend, or person in general. They only thing that's keeping me from ending this world is him. I know this sounds crazy because he doesn't exist, but I know some of you understand. How can I get rid of him? Letting go would be as difficult as a friend dying. How can I get past him? I feel like I need him, throwing this world away is too difficult. Suggestions anybody? I got teared up typing this. Any help at all would be fantastic.

[Darren]

I think the only way we can all stop daydreaming is if we accomplish what we are day dreaming about?? So for you maybe your missing a friend or you need a boyfriend and thats why you can't stop daydreaming about it because you want that thing so badly. So the only way you can stop is to accomplish your daydreams, make it real. This is only what I think, and thats how I plan to stop daydreaming too...I might plan to see a therapist sometime.

[Marianella]

Thank you all so much for this advice. It's all really good. :) :) :) Thank you so much!!!!

[Marianella]

And to Marka, that goodbye talk doesn't sound crazy what-so-ever to me. :) I think I might just take that advice.

[S B]

I have tried the breakup approach with my character, presently Darell, but there is always reconciliation.  This character has taken on many forms and names and morphed over time, but he always represents my soul mate, the man that I end up with.  I agree with Darren that this character symbolizes what I want, but what makes it hard is that if we are "broken up" I will feel too empty and hopeless.  While I am actively looking for someone in the real world, a problem I have is that he is so perfect that no one in the real world can come close.  I think, in addition to working on making our daydreams become reality, it is important to adjust our expectations of the real world.  For me, it is easier to escape back into daydreams because reality is never as good. 

 

I just joined this group, and have never addressed Darell as a "character".  Even though I know he is a figment of my imagination, he feels very real to me.  Just referring to him as a "character" makes a difference in my mind.  I hope that talking about our "characters" will help us trivialize them over time and accept reality more and more. 

[Skylar Grey]

Awww i understand perfectly. Your Adam is my James. The thought of losing him dosent even comprehend in my mind. Hes always there for me no matter where my daydreams go. ever since the beginning. You dont have to get rid of Adam, just change the story. I know for a fact it wont be easy if you truly wanna let go of Adam. The only advice i can think to give is distraction, distraction, distraction! Find a new hobby, avoid all triggers even if that means music. Keep your mind busy. Go out. Distract yourself and seperate from your fantasy world. hope i helped..

[Marianella]

S B - I know what you mean! I've tried the break up attempt as well and there's always a "getting back together" thing. That why it's so difficult!

 

Lizzy - You did help. I'm trying the distraction thing with playing video games. Adam has never interfered in my mind when I'm playing my xbox. But I could NEVER stop from listening to music. :/ And music is my biggest trigger because I've imagined Adam being this great singer and him writing all these songs for me. :/

[Darren]

thats trip how you guys make up characters. i just daydream about myself and in my daydreams there are people i know in real life.