Wild Minds network
Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
MY MD HAS MORE OR LESS VANISHED AND I FEEL WEIRD
A few weeks ago my MD mysteriously vanished - I don't even crave it. I don't even recognize that I need to do it and life is peaceful and kind of boring. I clean my house more often and I am on time for appointments; I study without effort or distraction. I kind of miss MD because of the possibilities that it used to present but I know now that its not real and will never happen in reality. So its like a loss if I am honest. Instead of DD, I browse the internet more and I am not as interested in music as I used to be. I am now painfully aware of all the years ,I've wasted and now fighting like hell to cover some ground. All those missed opportunities etc etc. It does depress the hell out of me but hey, better late than never. I react to my DD subjects in a detached manner and when I do try to daydream- the intensity just isn't there and I don't feel the need to keep going. I am just faced with life in its terrifying emptiness . But I asked for this - I wished to be released from MDD for almost 2 decades so I got my wish. To be honest ,right before my MDD vanished - I cried out to God with all my soul and said if this is my fate -give me the strength to bear it and the next day I woke up ,I just could not DD for the life of me. I was shocked to say the least and adopted a wait and see attitude. MDD does give you added dimensions- I was definitely more creative - I painted , I wrote stories , was like and encyclopaedia on music and took chances /risks. Now I have mellowed by 40% which is a lot. I see through things and no longer do I get carried away by what could happen like my life is a Danielle Steele novel. I face reality head on .
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on
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Well, this is what many of us pray for. Congrats on living a fuller outer life. I don't know how I'd feel if I lost my fantasy world. What I pray for is to have such an enriching outer life that I simply won't need it anymore. I know it can be tempting to wish to have it again, but remember how devastating the addiction can be. I quit drinking alcohol many years ago. I do wish I could have the occasional beer, but I know I can't. Getting sucked into that addiction again wouldn't be worth repeating the devastation it causes.
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Permalink Reply by The1andonlyAbber on
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I can't imagine life without daydreaming. I've spent most of my childhood doing it and now I can't even think without it (I literally think by talking to the characters in my head).
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Permalink Reply by Bee Anchor on
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I feel angry about having MDD in the first place- it made simple things unnecessarily convoluted. I feel now that I have wasted a lot of opportunities to socialize which I traded in for DD. Nothing can live up to the intensity of a DD ; everything pales by comparison. I just feel that I was in a storm and now washed up on the shore of day to day reality. Procrastination is no longer like a steel vice but it IS still there. I just have no clue how to relate to others after years of this. I am still grateful and I will never wish to be in the grip of MDD if I could help it.
I can still DD but I just don't feel the need to keep going like in the old days - I guess this is how normal people DD. The real world still sucks though. I guess I have to get a new hobby...
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Permalink Reply by Dusty on
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Wow, this sounds very similar to me. My MD vanished a while ago, my feelings and mood are much more bland now.
I would love to become more creative in an external way but the type of creativity I have doesn't seem to be containable in an art form :C. I'dd love to write a book but I'm not sure if I'd be comfortable with other people reading it.
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@Clouds, other people don't have to read it. You could write it just for yourself.
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I'm not sure how I feel about having MD. On one hand, it's made my life increasingly hard. On the other hand, my life in the past would have been much harder without it and I'd be a totally different person now. I went through a lot when I was younger, and my MD was probably preventing me from developing other disorders (I seriously doubt I could have made it through my childhood 100% mentally unscathed).
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Sometimes MDD stops one from processing experiences and integrating lessons learned into one's personality.
In a nutshell, it can cause arrested development. Things are viewed in a simplistic manner . Reality is just not taken into consideration. That being said , the loss of MDD causes life to lose some of its magic and possibilities. I thinks when we are sufficiently ready to get rid of MDD it would leave for itself.
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Permalink Reply by Caet Gardner on
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Hi. Wishing you the best as you journey through your new times. My MD was gone for a long time and I missed it. It's now coming back and I'm relieved and glad. You make an excellent point, though. How much real life have I missed while I daydream? Sometimes my spouse will ask me if I remember some event and I have no idea what he is talking about. I'm sure only part of my was at the event and part was in a daydream. I haven't been so great at facing reality head on. But always trying!
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Yeah MDD places you in a self-made bubble where you interact with people from behind a filter. Nothing in the real world is important really unless it can be related to the DD world. You just don't grow - you atrophy in some ways ,especially socially. I am surprised that some MDDers have managed to get married - how do you maintain a relationship if you are just not there? Did the person remind of a DD ? Its just weird.
How can someone live with you and not find out you DD?
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Permalink Reply by Tinkerbell on
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Congratulations. I want to get rid of my MD but I don't want to lose the ability to day dream like people with out MD and I don't want to lose any of my creativity.
I have thought about how I would feel losing it and I agree with Cordella Amethyste Rose that it's an addiction so a part of me may not want it to go but it needs to. If I want to better my life.
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Bee, if your normal state of mind for 20 years has been MDD, and then one day it suddenly disappears, then you should consider the possibility that you have suffered a neurological symptom, and it may be a good idea to visit the doctor.
This is just my very amateur opinion on the subject, but I don't think it is normal for anyone's brain to just suddenly change in a significant manner for no particular reason.
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Permalink Reply by Bonnie on
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Hi
I feel like I wrote that.......
My MDD vanished I tried getting it back I even prayed that God help me get it back as much as I have prayed for him to take it away.
I feel inlove with a co-worker who was not interested in a relationship with me i tried so hard to bury the rejection in my day dreams but I could not manage to even start even when i started it never gave me the results I needed. I felt depressed as if my best friend just died.
I always wanted to breakthrough from this but now that its gone. what a boring life I have. Reality is not that interesting actually its boring to be normal. I miss my best friend-MDD. I guess I will get use to the normal living with time.
I have starting a project in South Africa for MDD. any one whose from South Africa please contact me.
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