I'm Scared and confused

[Kathy]

I have a character named Courtney. I originally created her to be my friend, and I had some control, but now I don't. Now she's being insanely mean and won't leave me alone. I'm trying to get rid of her but she just won't go away. How do I get her to go away?

[Emma]

In my opinion, this doesn't sound much like maladaptive daydreaming.  I'm not an expert at all, but I've never had an experience like that and have not read of someone else on this forum with the same experience.  When you say you created her to be your friend, do you mean within the world of your daydream?  I mean, are you a character in your daydream plots and Courtney is your friend in those scenarios?  Or do you mean a real friend to the real you in the real world?  Please elaborate about that.  She won't leave the character-you alone within the daydream world?  Or she won't leave the real you alone in the real world?  Big difference.

If you mean that you are a character in your daydream world and Courtney won't leave you alone there, then come up with a plot that ends that character.  Sometimes when characters get boring or annoying, I think of a way to wrap up their story so that their arc is finished.  Maybe I ship them off to another country with a new job.  Maybe I make them have a fight with a main character and decide to never speak to them again.  Maybe I have them die of an illness or in a crash.  Maybe I have them become loser drop out druggies living on the street who never interact with my main characters anymore, etc.  Think up a good plot and end her story.  

I have not heard of people with MDD being unable to control their characters at all.  That sounds like a different issue.  I'm totally in control of what happens within my daydreams, only sometimes things don't work out as well as I like and it falls apart and I have to stop again and try something different for it to make sense or be effective.  But not being able to control anything about a character- I don't know about that.  What have you tried?

[Kathy]

I'm a christian so I've tried praying to get rid of her, ignoring her, etc but it can keep her away for a little while, then she comes back. I'm getting worried because now, with her, the line between fantasy and reality is getting blurry. I still have other daydreams, but as I said, she will interrupt them. I've had a lot going on for me mentally recently and my issues keep changing. It went from twitching, to psychosis, and now this. Idk whats going on. I'm so confused. I've seen her too, not for long periods of time, but I'll see her out of the corner of my eye, look, and for a few seconds she stays there, then she disappears. Luckily I'm seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow.

[Emma]

I think you should definitely talk to your therapist about all of this. 

Is she a friend you invented for your daydream self or your real world self?  To me, it all sounds like something you should take seriously and be honest about with a professional.  This is different than most MDD which is clearly separate from reality.

[Kathy]

I'm not sure, I mean I suck at making friends in real life so its possible that it was supposed to be for real life and not MDD. She just kinda came up into my DD's with another character, Ali. Ali was actually nice, but she left my daydreams.

[Lt C]

That's really scary. Maybe a ghost?

[Kathy]

Thanks for the comment, but I don't think it's a ghost.

[Iris]

Hi Kathy, don't try too hard to get rid of your daydream. My experience is, the more you try, the more the daydreams will clinch to you. Try to relax - you know Courtney isn't real. When you see her out of the corner of your eye, you know that your head is trying to fool you. Prayers won't make these daydreams disappear, pray that you stay calm and relaxed to handle these situations. Try to do something in real life that you enjoy.

[Kathy]

Thank you!

[The1andonlyAbber]

I've lost control over characters before. I got pretty freaked out the first time it happened. I think it's just something that happens occasionally in MD.

When you said that you keep seeing her out if the corner of your eye, do you mean that your character keeps seeing her in your daydreams, or that you actually see her out of the corner of your eye in the real world?

If you mean the first option, then create a storyline where she dies in an accident. Make it something really gruesome and unsurvivable so she won't be able to come back. I know that seems a bit extreme, but based on what you said it sounds like she's really starting to mess with your mental health.

If you mean you keep seeing her in the real world, then those are hallucinations and you need to see a doctor.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I see her in real life. I'm an inpatient at a psych ward right now cuz my psychiatrist is worried and doesnt think I'm safe.