Told my mom about it. What now?

[dream_away]

I told my mom about MD in a very straightforward way. I just handed her my tablet with an article about maladaptive daydreaming on it, and since I had attempted to talk to her before, she said she recognized the material and decided to cut me off from music (my main trigger) for a day. At the end of the day she checked in with me, and I told her I did better, but it was only because I felt so horrible about having MD in the first place. Now, a few days later, I'm certain she told my dad about it. She mentioned that I should watch The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and I said that I had heard things about it from this and other websites that talked about maladaptive daydreaming. She then told me that I shouldn't come to this website anymore because it's "feeding into my mindset" about this disorder. She's convinced that I am able to control this, but choose not to and decide to instead use it as an excuse to procrastinate. In all honesty, daydreaming is like an impulse for me, I feel the need to do it and it just happens, I can't help it and I'm sure it's that way for many of you as well. I guess it's because I'm not doing something as subtle as tapping or rocking back and forth, but rather jumping around with headphones on, that she thinks I should just be able to keep myself from doing it. "Just don't get up and jump". What should I do?

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I'm glad your mom is trying to help you, but I think she's wrong that you should just be able to stop.  It's not that easy, or we all would have done it.  I don't have any particular triggers, so that wouldn't work with me.  You're right that daydreaming is an impulse.  Dr. Cynthia Schupak has told me that it's an impulse-control disorder, like OCD.  There are ways that people have found to limit or stop daydreaming.  I've posted the most common suggestions along the right side of the main page.

Both my therapist and Dr. Schupak agree that stopping daydreaming completely is not a reasonable goal.  Daydreaming can be healthy, if controlled.  They both feel that learning to control it is a much more reasonable goal.  I think the first, important step is to stop judging yourself and making yourself feel bad about it.  This only makes it worse.  Since I have stopped doing those things and started accepting it, it has naturally started to get better.  It's not completely gone, and it doesn't need to be.  It still affects my life, but I don't let that make me feel defeated.  I accept that it will make some things more challenging.  As a result, it no longer takes over my life.  It's just part of my life.  Try to do some of these things, and let us know how it goes, if you still want to come here.  We're here to help you.  Coming here has helped many people to stop feeling crazy and judging themselves.  We hope to be a source of support.  We don't want to enable your daydreaming, but we like to help each other with tips and strategies to stop or control it.  

Good luck.  

[Cemre]

it goes nearly same with my mom. i mentioned her about MDD and this site and she said that it's not such a big deal and i do it myself. and she told me not to come here too . it seems like they think that we do it ourselves :( i hope one day they understand that it's not our choice to do this.