Needed a place

[Melinda]

It feels so good to know I am not alone.  I thought I was a freak.  I thought I was sinning and going to hell, I really did.  I just can not control it.  I prayed all the time.  Never thought to look it up on the internet until a few weeks ago.  I guess God finally guided me here. 

I did came out and told my therapist about it.  She had never heard of it and is going to educate herself about it.

I did ask on my other forum (for my bi-polar) and I got one comment.  I think everyone thought I was crazy or they were afraid to admit they had it.

I feel really positive here, thank you so much.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Welcome.  I think God did send you here.  I asked a well-known minister if he thought of any possible way that daydreaming could ever be considered a sin, and he said unequivocally "No."  Some people on here do think it's a sin, but I disagree.  We're here to support you.  

[Emma]

I agree it is not a sin.  I think if we perceive it that way, it is because we realize we are doing something that most people don't do and we worry about being found out.  Also I think the daydreams are so private that it feels like it would be humiliating to be discovered.  I think these feelings might make us feel like we are doing something wrong.  I never thought of it as sinning since I'm not religious, but certainly I felt guilty about it for years.  The guilt was so strong that sometimes I figured that other people could read my mind and tell that I was doing it.  I did not logically believe this, but it was something I felt- that I was doing something wrong and would be found out.  So I do know what you mean.  In fact, I did not google about it for years because I was afraid to enter it into google since that was some sort of admission.  When I did finally google it, I read about Dr. Schupak's study and eventually found this forum.  It's nice to know I'm not so weird as I thought.  Thank you!

One thing that is disappointing me is that there seems to be very little in the way of suggestions to tackle this problem.  We all want to share, and I want to talk about my own MD and my own daydreams too- just like everyone else.  But how long do we do that?  Where is the help and recovery?  I want this to end, and I need strategies to end it.  I know research is new, but surely there must be people who have let go of this or else gotten it under control so that it is not their go-to coping mechanism anymore.  

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Yes, some people have gotten better or stopped, and I've posted the most common suggestions along the right side of the main page.  Have you tried those?  Some have found certain meds to be helpful.  Others tried meditation.  For me, the only thing that works is distraction.  What works is different for each of us, so keep trying things until you find what works for you.  

Emma said:

I agree it is not a sin.  I think if we perceive it that way, it is because we realize we are doing something that most people don't do and we worry about being found out.  Also I think the daydreams are so private that it feels like it would be humiliating to be discovered.  I think these feelings might make us feel like we are doing something wrong.  I never thought of it as sinning since I'm not religious, but certainly I felt guilty about it for years.  The guilt was so strong that sometimes I figured that other people could read my mind and tell that I was doing it.  I did not logically believe this, but it was something I felt- that I was doing something wrong and would be found out.  So I do know what you mean.  In fact, I did not google about it for years because I was afraid to enter it into google since that was some sort of admission.  When I did finally google it, I read about Dr. Schupak's study and eventually found this forum.  It's nice to know I'm not so weird as I thought.  Thank you!

One thing that is disappointing me is that there seems to be very little in the way of suggestions to tackle this problem.  We all want to share, and I want to talk about my own MD and my own daydreams too- just like everyone else.  But how long do we do that?  Where is the help and recovery?  I want this to end, and I need strategies to end it.  I know research is new, but surely there must be people who have let go of this or else gotten it under control so that it is not their go-to coping mechanism anymore.  

[Melinda]

As far as what to make for dinner or what to say in a business meeting to me is planning.  Im a planner, I have a family.  If I don't plan, dinner will not make it on the table or if I don't make plans for the vacation, we will not have the money to go.  That's reality not daydreaming. 

Acceptance is the key, like you said.  You did help and thank you so much.

[Emma]

Thanks Cordelia.  I did look on the main page but I appreciate you redirecting me there because it is making me reflect on why I'm shooting down solutions and just repeating the problem.  You are right.  There are things that help.  Avoiding triggers and staying busy helps when I'm not heavily into the daydream.  That is what I used to do during times in my life when I was functioning better.  But I think of that more as control.  Right now I'm in a daydream binge and I need to figure out why I'm not doing the things that will get me out of it.  I need to wake up early, have a clear set of tasks and meditate.  Those things will get me out of it because they have before.  The truth is that the daydream is wonderful and exciting and real life right now just sucks and is full of tedious things and I'm overwhelmed.  I don't want to face it.  So there's the truth.  I can get out of it and I don't want to which... well thank you for forcing me to look at that fact.  It's better to look at facts than to pretend that I have no control at all.  The most useful thing I read on the main page (just revisited it) is that I can set aside a time to daydream.  I bet I can negotiate with myself not to daydream until I finish all my stuff for the day and then go for a PM walk.  That can be something to look forward to and feels better considering than giving up the daydream all the time.  Every time I feel the urge, I can push it aside for the evening as something to look forward to.  

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Yes, some people have gotten better or stopped, and I've posted the most common suggestions along the right side of the main page.  Have you tried those?  Some have found certain meds to be helpful.  Others tried meditation.  For me, the only thing that works is distraction.  What works is different for each of us, so keep trying things until you find what works for you.  

Emma said:

I agree it is not a sin.  I think if we perceive it that way, it is because we realize we are doing something that most people don't do and we worry about being found out.  Also I think the daydreams are so private that it feels like it would be humiliating to be discovered.  I think these feelings might make us feel like we are doing something wrong.  I never thought of it as sinning since I'm not religious, but certainly I felt guilty about it for years.  The guilt was so strong that sometimes I figured that other people could read my mind and tell that I was doing it.  I did not logically believe this, but it was something I felt- that I was doing something wrong and would be found out.  So I do know what you mean.  In fact, I did not google about it for years because I was afraid to enter it into google since that was some sort of admission.  When I did finally google it, I read about Dr. Schupak's study and eventually found this forum.  It's nice to know I'm not so weird as I thought.  Thank you!

One thing that is disappointing me is that there seems to be very little in the way of suggestions to tackle this problem.  We all want to share, and I want to talk about my own MD and my own daydreams too- just like everyone else.  But how long do we do that?  Where is the help and recovery?  I want this to end, and I need strategies to end it.  I know research is new, but surely there must be people who have let go of this or else gotten it under control so that it is not their go-to coping mechanism anymore.  

[The1andonlyAbber]

I don't think it's a sin, either. It's not our fault. We daydream because there have been unfair circumstances in our lives and/or we didn't know it would become an addiction. Plus, I actually get into deep discussions about religion with my characters.

[Danny Si]

yeah i felt the exact same way and only literally until yesterday when i was finally able to talk to someone who understands about that a big stress relief was lifted