Maladaptive Daydreaming

[47]

I'll start by saying... I had no idea this was a thing, but now that I know, I am so glad I am not alone. I've been using this as a form of escapism since I was very young. I didn't really identify it as a problem until I became an adult, because in real life you don't choose what happens. Throughout the day, I drift in and out of consciousness as my mind sees fit. I don't like it anymore. I'm becoming emotionally involved in fiction because my reality is lackluster and unfavorable. 

I believe this form of escapism can be very useful in times of stress, but now I long to be grounded. I'm unsuccessful and have some mental disadvantages... I do not need anymore diversions from reality than I already have. I guess the trouble comes in what I'm going to do to change things. I know if I spend more time in reality that I am more likely to do things that meet my ridiculously high standards for myself, but reality is so... unappealing.

Anyway, I wanted to discuss this with someone. It is not something that can be brought up at lunch, you know. This is holding me back, it's reeling me in with promises of excitement and visions of productivity. It's all fake.

What's on everybody's mind?

[Rosethewolf]

I actually feel the same way because mine is causing me so much problems. When I was little I though it was...normal... I guess. I never heard of this until a couple of months before my high school graduation. It freaked me out...mainly because what I daydream about is all fiction. Like dragons and faerie tales and different worlds.  I too feel real life is unappealing but I also need to control this "daydream" of mine. Sure I would rather be there then here but it is not real!!! But I also can't help it. So many things trigger it around me that it is hard NOT to fall into the world.

[47]

There are so many triggers. Especially since we're surrounded by fiction in the media - people thrive on it.  I know what you mean, it's wonderful, but it's not real. It's consuming, but it's not real. It's distracting... but sometimes I feel like it's one of the few good things I have left.

Monica Banks said:

I actually feel the same way because mine is causing me so much problems. When I was little I though it was...normal... I guess. I never heard of this until a couple of months before my high school graduation. It freaked me out...mainly because what I daydream about is all fiction. Like dragons and faerie tales and different worlds.  I too feel real life is unappealing but I also need to control this "daydream" of mine. Sure I would rather be there then here but it is not real!!! But I also can't help it. So many things trigger it around me that it is hard NOT to fall into the world.

[Rosethewolf]

That is exactly what I think. Do you know how hard it is NOT to dive in! My trigger is music and that's is all around me. You can't stop me from listening to music. Once I started....I dive into my "world".

I have other triggers to..like reading..tv...

[The1andonlyAbber]

I created my world as a coping mechanism. In real life, I had a boring family where I was the only child, was homeschooled, had no pets, and only had a few friends that I rarely saw. We also lived in a weird spot, so we weren't out in the country but didn't have much of a neighborhood, either. I was lonely, miserable, and also just so happened to be looking for a creative outlet. So I created an entire imaginary world where I had the things I wanted. I lived on a farm where we raised dragons and manufactured dragon food. I had numerous siblings. I went to a public school where I was very popular. I lived out in the country, but also had neighbors at the farms next door. Well, we moved. We were in a neighborhood and I went to school in real life. But it was a huge disappointment. I knew beforehand that it couldn't live up to my daydreams, but I wasn't expecting that I would be bullied so much, or that I would have so many hours of homework, or that I would miss my old friends so badly. So I created new fantasy worlds to deal with the disappointment and the new things that were stressing me out.

[47]

Isn't it odd that we inadvertently cause ourselves more stress by doing this...? It seems we all have some sort of childhood issues to compensate for. Interesting.

[Charles Mabe]

I realize that my MD daydreaming is a problem and hinders living real life. However, I have no chance for living a normal life. I love my MD daydreaming. It gives me power and focus and allows me to release my grief instead of holding it in. MD daydreaming is an important part of my existence and I need it. The trauma and affection starvation I have suffered since birth could have led to delinquency or substance abuse, but instead, I was fortunate enough to cope by giving myself the affection I needed. I know that MD daydreaming is just wish fulfillment and it doesn't make things happen for me, but without it, I would have no therapy. I would be so lost about who I was and what I could or couldn't do that I would make no progress and people would still mistreat me constantly. I need my MD daydreaming. I already can't function and I don't have family or support, so it may be all I'll ever have.

[Rosethewolf]

that very true I never thought of it that way

Denim Mage said:

I realize that my MD daydreaming is a problem and hinders living real life. However, I have no chance for living a normal life. I love my MD daydreaming. It gives me power and focus and allows me to release my grief instead of holding it in. MD daydreaming is an important part of my existence and I need it. The trauma and affection starvation I have suffered since birth could have led to delinquency or substance abuse, but instead, I was fortunate enough to cope by giving myself the affection I needed. I know that MD daydreaming is just wish fulfillment and it doesn't make things happen for me, but without it, I would have no therapy. I would be so lost about who I was and what I could or couldn't do that I would make no progress and people would still mistreat me constantly. I need my MD daydreaming. I already can't function and I don't have family or support, so it may be all I'll ever have.

[Robert M. Laramee]

Hello 47, I'm new here. Is your daydream altered by real life events or are the events fuel for your imagination. I have spent much energy blocking out diversions. Try to let your imagination become fuel for your reality. Once it is properly nourished it will become more attractive. Clues for survival are everywhere.

[Charles Mabe]

Wow, that sounds nice and pretentious. Could you make any less sense?

Robert M. Laramee said:

Hello 47, I'm new here. Is your daydream altered by real life events or are the events fuel for your imagination. I have spent much energy blocking out diversions. Try to let your imagination become fuel for your reality. Once it is properly nourished it will become more attractive. Clues for survival are everywhere.

[47]

Robert, you've no idea what my brain looks like. I'm assuming you're not here to give play-by-plays, but to join in this delusional society. That being the case, maybe you should let your imagination become fuel for your reality. Once it is properly nourished, it will become more attractive. Clues for survival are everywhere.

Clues for survival? Breathing. Eating. Dihydrogen Oxide. Typically, those who suffer any sort of traumatic experience (as I have, but I figure you probably already know that, seeing as how you've the knowledge to satisfy my longing for realistic happiness) use various coping methods to ensure "survival". Any mental health professional would tell you that defense mechanisms are intricately designed in the brain to keep us safe from harm. A fictional world inside of the brain; it's perfect. Though it's distracting and also a bit destructive, depending on the severity. I'm well aware of reality, I live it everyday. I wake, I go to work, I pay my bills, I do the dishes, I bathe. Survival isn't the point. The point is, some of us reach a spot in our lives where we want to retract and finally solve whatever problems are preventing us from living outside of our minds. 

My imagination cannot sweeten reality any more than my reality can sweeten my imagination. I believe they're quite disconnected, actually. That's why it's called imagination, which is, according to Merriam-Wesbter "the act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses or never before wholly perceived in reality". Additionally, I don't condone suppression. It gets me in trouble. In fact, it's why I'm here.

[Robert M. Laramee]

Yes, you are correct. I do take my own medicine. What I do know is that my experiences are my own and unique while at the same time there are also striking similarities with some of the discussions I have read. I am just trying to fit in somewhere to make sense of it all. Mind development interests me and I found this site through Scientific American Mind. I have never heard of MDD before yesterday, so Yes, I am new here and still learning that being introverted is not necessarily being alone and not being understood is one of the reasons I retreat to my mind. In Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition you will not find the word: pareidolia. Sharing info.

[47]

I'm often misunderstood as well. I am glad you decided to try talking to others about it.