Lifelong dreamer just discovering this community. This is my story.

[Gee Bart]

 Well much like many of you I just discovered the concept of MD last night by searching "pacing while fantasizing". I can't even describe how overwhelming and comforting it is to know that after 25+ years of feeling like I had some unique weird problem, that I am not alone. My 30th birthday is actually in two days so it's kind of fitting that I discovered this at this point.

  I have been daydreaming (or fantasizing as I always called it) since as long as I can remember, definitely since the age of 4 or 5 but possibly earlier. I have distinct memories of fantasizing about things I saw in comic books or in movies or TV when I was that young. I have been basically doing it ever since in much the same way but just with different story lines as I got older. I remember being busted by my brother and friends when I was maybe 8 or 9 because they were secretly listening at the door one time when I was making explosion sounds and whatnot. It was extremely embarrassed and I have been hiding it ever since and to my knowledge no one has ever seen or heard about it since, and I have never told anyone until I discovered this website. I haven't even really been super honest with myself until the last 24 hours and usually was able to completely forget about the fact that I daydreamed during my "waking" state.

My fantasies have varied over the years and have generally reflected things I have been interested in. For example for about a 10 year period during my teens I regularly fantasized about being the singer in a world famous rock band. Basically we were like a modern alternative band along the lines of Nirvana or Pearl Jam but were super famous like The Beatles. The other people in the band were friends who I knew and liked and the stories were clearly me living out my dream at the time of being a famous musician. 

The main story of the last ten years or so has been based around me being the leader of a great world power during a major international conflict such as a world war. The countries are all fictional in my dream and I even have an alternative world map created with intricate alliances and histories for many different countries. In fact as I write this and reflect it is truly amazing how complex the history is. This fantasy is clearly inspired by my love of history and especially WWII history. My inclination is to think that the dreams are more inspired by my interests more so than me researching topics to fuel my dreams, as many here have hypothesized. 

Other story lines have been based on Star  Wars, sports (hockey and boxing), and basically any other media such as movies, TV shows, comics, music, you name it. Certain ones seem to flair up during certain events such as me daydreaming about being a gold medal athlete when the Olympics are on TV. Typically I don't create original characters the same way many on here seem to. In the dreams where I do have characters it is usually my close friends at the time who I like. However recently, especially in the case of the World War dream, there are not so much characters as large nations or armies with me at the centre as a leader. Weird I know...

In terms of what I physically do when I dream. I think for the most part I pace around, rock back and forth, twist my body in weird ways, flap and move my hands, and whisper and mumble. These physical actions are in line with what I have learned about autism over the years so I always suspected I may have a mild form of it but many of the other key signs of being on the autism spectrum were not there for me. For example I am generally a very outgoing and social person. I have many friends and am generally successful in life. Fortunately, my daydreaming has never really created any serious problems for me in relationships or school/professionally however no doubt I have wasted many hours and even days in the seclusion of my room doing it which could have been used more productively.

My theory after reading constantly about this over the past day is that for me at least, MD is caused by an overflow of creativity that I can't channel as much as I want. I am an extremely creative person and have always thrived in any situation where I am able to create. Whether it be writing or performing music, writing, acting, photography, whatever...I have always excelled. I was never that good or interested in Math and this caused me a lot of anxiety and stress in school as a teenager. I had a very happy and normal childhood and didn't experience the childhood trauma that it seems some people claim may have caused their MD.

There is so much I could talk about and explain but I just felt I should share my story ASAP and join this new community. I can't tell you how reassuring it is for me to hear that there are hundreds and possibly thousands out there just like me. This was such a personal thing I kept inside for so long and wouldn't face up to but now I feel I can approach it head on and not let it be some thing under the radar that I have no control over.

Honestly I think that discovering that this is actually a condition might actually be all I needed to stop. Only time will tell but already today I caught myself a few times about to fall into doing it and then became self aware and stopped. I have definitely noticed music is a trigger so I am going to be more cognizant of that from now on and try to be aware of what I am doing when I put on a song. I am also going to try and limit my alone time more than I have in the past as I think being alone too much (which I tend to do) is the main facilitator. Like I said earlier, this hasn't really directly caused me any life problems but I am curious just to see what life will be like if I make a conscious effort to stop. 

Thank you so much Cordellia for making this website and I look forward to hearing more stories and moving along in the coming months and possibly years with this newly founded community.

Geoff

[Maya]

I am 21 , and I have also been dding since my childhood. In childhood, its intensity was mild , then at one time, during my teenage it became extremely high and caused much damage to my educational achievements.

I remember during my early years of school, I was so dutiful that even though I felt an urge for DD, I abstained from it until I have completed my studies. But later the competition grew stronger and I often succumbed to DD, and I was always so eager to get free time to DD, and music was definitely a trigger. Then, there was one year when I was preparing for some exam and I had a lot of time to be alone so involuntarily I wasted all my time in DDing and suffered  a failure I had never expected.  

Earlier my MD plot used to be imaginary, with imaginary characters. But then, I came to read the book 'The secret' and similar stuff about visualising to make your dream come true. So I started dreaming about real events including real people. I brought my stories , with the same basic theme , to real plane. It felt nice earlier. 

Now, everything is changed. My MD seems to have almost vanished. I listen to music, but it doesn't trigger DD anymore. Even if I spend days alone in my room, I don't get into DDing. It may be sounding fortunate, but it is not so. I had always thought that it is due my MD that I don't make much progress. But now when it is over, I find I have become lesser productive. And so I want to get that creative intensity back.

Geoff, I want to know from you how do you manage to be successful even while regularly daydreaming , and how are you able to keep yourself  forgetting about this during your 'waking' state? And please read about the book 'the secret' and tell me your opinion about it?

[S K]

Hi

Hope you have a look around the site. It's extremely cathartic.You're lucky it doesn't affect your functioning and life, I guess the lack of trauma may be the reason why.Anyway, you're post really resonated with me. It's really cool.

Welcome!

[Gee Bart]

Ok so I am back with an update and to answer your questions.

Since I have become aware of this community and indeed MD as a concept, I have been doing it much less. I would say in the past I simply found it easy to slip into daydreams where now I constantly catch myself when I am about to. I still find the urges coming all the time but I'd say in the past couple weeks since becoming "self aware" of being a daydreamer the dreams have declined at least 80 - 90 percent. I do feel a bit of frustration when this happens so it does have characteristics of an addiction for sure... 

Maya,

             While my dreams are based on real life events generally they are extreme and I know they could never happen in real life. I love music and yes I perhaps would like to be a successful musician however I know I will never be as big as The Beatles. I'm cool with that. I think my dreams just reflect what I am interested in at any given time.

I do consider myself generally successful in life with career and friends. I am single however mostly out of choice and most of my friends and family would tell you I am sort of a lone wolf. That is not to say I have trouble with women, I actually am a fairly active dater. I have many passions and I will admit I may even be sometimes over confident and slightly narcissistic. Generally though people like me and think I'm friendly.

I do love my alone time though...maybe a little too much. I have definitely spent way too many hours over the years alone dreaming or binging on internet browsing or other types of things you do when alone. I feel I really need that balance of me time and social time. If I have that I am quite outgoing socially, however if I spend too much time around others I get really agitated...I think this has likely spilled over into relationships as well which may be part of why I have been single for several years now.

I am really starting to think that my MD is strongly associated with CREATIVITY. My approach right now is to try and channel my energy into planned creative projects. I am quite musical so I am writing and recording some music on my computer which I find very cathartic and exciting. I think photography, graphic design, blogging, writing, etc. could be outlets for me as well. I remember being a kid and thinking that I would be a good movie director because of all of the things I imagined. Perhaps this is a little voice inside our heads saying we are specially evolved to express this creativity into wonderful things.

Anyways there's my rant, talking about it helps too. Give it a try, we're all in this together!

Much love.