Confusion, fear, obsession and depression.

[Rome]

I've never though of sharing stuff on blog but it seems now it is become necessary to hear what others have to say about this.
So first thing is first - my daydreaming habbit (maladaptive daydreaming)
I've started daydreaming when i was 5 years old (as long as i can remember), i never knew i was different from others making a fantasy world in my head until i was grown up and found that it is not as normal as compared to people around you. I got suspicious about this habit and googled ''daydreaming problem'' i found out an article which stated the name of this disorder and symptoms, this was it! I'm affected by MD.

Ok so this is all general to us most of the daydreamers the way they find way towards this website.
What's the sad part is that, supposedly if we know something we have and we find about it we expect there to be cure for it, like you know you have fever but don't know what's causing the sickness, you got to the doctor, expect him to tell you your problem he tells you it's jaundice and prescribe medication which will like fix you in five or ten days, that's a guarantee that your life will just be normal after few days.
But mystical things like Maladaptive Daydreaming which has no explanation no origins and perhaps no medication is a part of you to have control on your whole life. As long as i'm concerned i don't have problem living with it! but it's get dangerous when it starts affecting your real life.
Side-effects that's affected me - my normal life, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, social anxiety fear, confusion and depression.

Confusion - This is the biggest part in me, i don't know what i want to do in life, i finished my junior college the 12th grade as we call it and tried to think what's should be my career , first i though i would study commerce, i tried i dropped out the subject it didn't interest me, i already lost a year cause of this. And now i have so many visions of what should be my career.

Fear - This includes low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, social anxiety, it's so difficult to go out there and feel good and feel comfortable, i create my own world in mind and i'm always in it so if real world slightly not the world i created in mind i feel uncomfortable, usually my daydreaming story is set up far from the city in wonderful landscapes and peaceful places like that. So whenever i go for a trip or anything to mountainous places and all that stuff i feel slightly better but slightly(slightly because you will know why).

Obsession - Ok here is the whole thing about my daydreams, I'm obsessed with a girl i knew(if you wanna know more about this girl i can tell you in private chat as i don't find this blog comfortable to open up) she is in my head every min every sec, i'm not able to forget her! i'm in love! all the daydreams all the stories all the scenarios that i create everything, she is everywhere!!!!!I wish i could get her somehow! but i can't. And whenever i go for a trip or anywhere out of the city(real world) i miss her terribly and start daydreaming there again. Although she is not in contact with me even in the city i don't understand why i have to miss her even when i'm out of my city, when i'm in my town i feel like i'm close to her somehow even when i'm not in her contact.

Depression - This is the result of all the 3 aspects mentioned above. when everything comes together to beat you up psychologically.

This what i've written about me it's not in full detail as it's very hard for me to express how things are for me, maybe i can try to express it in a little more dept in one on one conversation(private chat).

[Girste]

Hi, i just found out about this maladaptive daydreaming thing. Untill today I thought I was just  too creative... I told about it to my mom but she just laughed... Although, I don't think it's funny. I can relate to almost everything that you've written.

I can't make choices and it is very difficult to change something in my life because I already live in another one that is a million times better and I have control of it. I think the problem is that I'm really afraid to make mistakes and in the imaginary world I can easily erase anything.

I am really shy and I actually hate myself because of it. I have a few friends. I've told my best friend about it and she was really supportive.  Thank God that I met her because the time spent with my friend or sometimes my family (most of the time we fight) is the only time when I feel happy. I told my friend that I create stories in my head and I can't stop doing that, so she suggested me to try to write it down. I tried. I tried so many times but I just can't. Like something is blocked. I can only create when I'm daydreaming. But when I'm done I am unable to make my vision from the dreams happen.  My dream is to become an artist and a fashion designer so the daydreaming is not always a bad thing.

But it is the time that I should start thinking about my future and I can't. Some people live in their past memories (I don't because a) my memory is bad and b) my past kind of sucks), some people live thinking about their future (I just can't make myself to do it sometimes), some people are lucky to live right now and enjoy their life. And I am stuck in my imaginary world.

I can totally relate to the obsession part because I always daydream about one guy. I don't know why. I don't even know him. I have met him  a few times only. And yeah he's like in every single story I create. And I know I will never actually meet him.

About the depression part. I don't know if the daydreaming was caused by the depression or the depression came because I daydreamed too much... 

I know I've written too much but it feels very good to share something personal with people who can understand me and don't think I'm crazy... I hope :)

[Taylor]

I definitely understand this. Most of this does apply to me; especially the "obsession" part. My DDs feature people that I wish I knew in person. I feel so creepy about it, but I am sure that their characteristics are made up in my DDs. It makes me sad because the more I dd, the more I realize that I will never know these people irl and I am sad that I never will, and that I will most likely never be good for them. Therefore, in most of my DDs I seem to play an important part in many of my fictional friends' lives.