What do you do in the weekends?

[Floris]

I have always had difficulty with this question. I know what I should answer, if I were socially acceptable:

-I have a party/I go out/I go see friends

-something else outside my house, like sports or an event:

Social and active things.

The things I do not (enough). The reason I am still single. I feel like I need to put on a mask to hide my passivity and solitary existence. It kind of sounds pathetic when I tell I spend a whole afternoon building Magic: The Gathering decks or other solitary stuff like playing games. Sometimes I'm lucky and something outside has come up when somebody asks me, so I have an acceptable answer, like "I'm going to a card game tournament".

The truth is I really enjoy the break, the time for myself. So sometimes i feel most comfortable and honest when I reply "I do nothing". Unfortunately, many people think that you ARE what you DO, rather than what you THINK, especially when they don't have a clue what's on your mind. Or when it's just really hard to explain.

Thoughts? Please discuss.

[Wish Upon A Wish]

Oh, I completely understand. I spend a lot of time on the computer (when not DDing) and so I just say either that I was on the computer, or 'not much' or relaxing at home or something, and that usually works, because they don't expect more detail. Well, it works for me, but I used to hate questions like that.

It's annoying when they want to know what I was doing on the computer. And when the want something more precise than 'internet' or something. Sheesh, why should it matter to them? I realise they're only trying to make conversation, but still.

I generally ask if anything interesting's happened lately. If nothing has, or nothing they'd want to talk about has, it's piss easy to say no. And if something interesting has happened to/around them, then they get to talk about it as much as they like. Within reason.

[Shadow Cat Sam]

You could start a group in your area, if you want to.  http://mtg.meetup.com/

I am much the same and prefer to isolate. I like old skool RPGs but have dropped out of a few groups simply to be by myself.

[greyartist]

What do you do in the weekend?

 

I have somewhat of a routine, if I didn't I wouldn't get out of bed. But, I do force myself to socilize some.

Saturday I pick up my son and we go to the coffee shop, then head to church, grab a milkshake on the way back. I drop him off then mess around on the internet til time for the radio show, http://www.blogtalkradio.com/daydreaming then if the weather is premitting I take the dogs on a long walk. Then waste a bunch more time online. Hubby is gone almost all day on Saturday, farm stuff with his brother.

Sundays are grocery shopping, house cleaning, laundry, waste more time online, watch tv with hubby. Get ready to start another work week. Of course daydreaming during all the above activities.

So I don't DO anything of importance,  just exist.

[Floris]

Thanks a lot guys, you do a better job at accepting yourself. It seems much easier for women because men don't judge so negatively upon women with less social lives, as long as they look alright. Women seem to judge very harsh on nerds, no matter how smart.

I'm at this phase where I just really fear that accepting myself is severely screwing up my life, I may regret stubbornness to change when I die. Self love is a double edged sword: on one hand feeling good about yourself, on the other missing out on opportunities for growth. I would really like to have a girlfriend (again). I try to come up with activities that are close enough to myself so that I can stay motivated doing them. But also, when I have a date (I had a number of them, like once every 2 years, yay...all net dates). 

I would like to feel good about myself when telling about my hobbies but it still feels like a hard sell because they're not social and would trigger the instant thought "he's no husband material" for many women.  I just need a woman who does not have that quick trigger. And one who doesn't want children, which is rare except for MILFs ;-).

[Dreamcatcher]

If you stay consistent, others will leave you alone. It took some time for my co-workers to understand I don't attend their restaurant/bar gatherings. We talk a lot during working hours and have some great laughs. I like them a lot, they are nice people, but I can't bring myself to link up my work and private life. After several years, nobody asks me to go out anymore, they know I wouldn't accept their offer and respect my position. Too many personal issues on my side + like you've said: "The truth is I really enjoy the break, the time for myself".

I wish there would be a fellow nerd around me. No such luck yet, but I keep dreaming.

[Nicoletta]

I hate going out, not only does socia anxiety prevent me most of the time but I'm quite introverted. Going out on weekends is just a no from me, I would much rather spend a day daydreaming rather than talk to people.

[Floris]

"Going out" sucks. When you can meet like minds with similar passions, interests and have normal, calm conversations with them you would probably find that more intesting?

The big question is always, where? And even when you meet people with similar interests they can really disappoint you, not nice, judgmental, or just plain boring.

Thank humanity for the internet. In the old days, most people like us became writer, composer or (the majority) day dreamt during simple, boring tasks at work. I wonder how they found other ways to connect to the outside world. Sometimes through a husband or wife, or different mediators.

Nicoletta said:

I hate going out, not only does socia anxiety prevent me most of the time but I'm quite introverted. Going out on weekends is just a no from me, I would much rather spend a day daydreaming rather than talk to people.

[Nicoletta]

People in my life are actual really nice, I just have this constant thing in my head that they all hate me. Whenever I try to hangout with them something comes up for them and they just don't get I don't like crowded places. So I just read, do art, daydream and stay in room. 

[Pascale]

If you dont want to answer a question ask back. Thats I usually answer:

-Have you plan for the next week end.

- Not realy have you?

or

-What did you do last week end?

-Nothing special actualy, what about you?

People asking are the one who have someting to tell. So it usually works very well.

On other thing is forcing myself to do stuff I feel like doing but have problem to decide. Last week end I was at the cinema twice because I suddenly begynt to think about all the movies I wanted to see and didnt see at the cinema because I never can decide myself. So I suddenly decide to ask several friend to go to cinema with me. Maby 3 month before next time...