Getting daydreams under control

[Starry]

Right now I have the daydreams under control.  I only daydream when appropriate.  While doing hobbies, yard work, or something boring and mundane at my job that requires no thought.  So basically I do it to entertain myself.

I used to stay in bed and "sleep" as much as possible on my days off, just so I could daydream.  Of course I questioned why I was wasting so much time daydreaming. Here's what I found that seemed to be my problem.

1. My character:  I noticed that while I didn't change myself significantly, I did add a few minor touches and improvements. Let's just say that in my stories I basically made myself look like I do on my very best day.  My hair is done really pretty, my make up is flawless, my clothes are beautiful.

So I started thinking that of course this would mirror some of my feelings in real life.  I went to the salon, got a "new do", bought some new make up and invested in my wardrobe.  Now when I go out I feel like I look nice.

2. Relationships:  I always centered my daydreams around a character that loved my character unconditionally, She is the center of his world. He would die for her.  I make a story from beginning to end, with conversation and drama and the whole nine yards...

So, I started thinking that maybe I'm lacking that feeling of closeness.  This is crazy to me because I am married and my husband is great.  I started to improve communication with him and I felt closer than ever before.  No walls, no secrets, it's great.  He even knows about my stories in my head, my disfunctional childhood, etc...

3. Entertainment:  I daydream to entertain myself.  I also did it to replace the friends that I didn't have.  I felt lonely and bored.  I started to make friends in the real world to replace my daydream friends. 

4. Depression: when I'm happy in reality and not depressed I don't need to daydream in order to self sooth. I feel depressed about 1 or 2 weeks every 6 months or so.  It comes and just "sits on me" and I can't shake it until it's ready to go.  Then I just wake up happy again thank God. I don't know what I would do if it stayed.

Ok so I got mine under control, hope it lasts and hope this might help someone.

[Starry]

I forgot to mention the one really strange thing.  I decided that there is no shame in my daydreams and I decided to tell my stories to other people. They enjoy my stories.  I thought maybe they can be used for good in my life and not take away my life like they used to.

[greyartist]

I'm glad to hear things are doing better for you.