Love fantasies

[Sasha Petrova]

Hi all,

I am new to this and came across this site a few days ago. 
I stumbled across a post from another member about love fantasies. 
When I meet a man who is good to me , I too start building up fantasies about the person in my head. I get obsessed over the person.
 I over think /fantasise and make myself fall in love with the person. In addition , I want the person to fall in love with me. 
This lead to a lot of heartache for me. 

I have lived with this for close to 35 odd years. I didn’t know that other people felt the same. And also , I didn’t know that there was a name for it. 

After doing a little bit of online research , I realised that I probably have maladaptive daydreaming. 
In a way , I am glad that there is at least a name to what I feel. I don’t feel alone. 

I hope some one can share their thoughts with me. 

Best ,

Sasha. X 

[Aria]

Hi Sasha, I often find myself doing the same thing. I have to actively stop myself and interrupt these daydreams, especially if it's someone I want to have a relationship with. It's easy to dream a real person into a fantasy and then become disappointed when you get to know them in real life and they aren't who you've dreamt up. I am working with my therapist to stop these kinds of day dreams as they are disruptive to my life. I am working on identifying what needs the day dreams are meeting (fast forwarding a relationship, feelings of companionship, etc.) and what needs are they keeping me from meeting (actually working on my happiness and meeting my own needs). These are the main day dreams I want to stop as I feel they are negatively impacting my life the most. 

[Sasha Petrova]

Thank you Victor 

[Kiruba Victor]

Hello Sasha. I totally understand what you feel, because I've felt that too. I've never had a relationship in my life and have daydreamed often about people I feel attracted and attached to. So it makes up good scenarios as well as bad ones. Example, this girl I've a crush on, went for dinner with her ex, and in the envy, my mind made up bad scenarios, but once I realized that she's over him, it came back to normal.