Why?

[Amanda Lynne]

i can't help but ask myself after i daydream for a long time why am i okay with this? why does it feel the same, or much better than real life should? why give me the skill of knowing all the answers if i can never act on it?

 

i'm scared everybody's right. this is all i'll ever be. a dreamer. a dreamer can be a beautiful thing if their dreams make them honestly truly happy and they do something productive with them. but mine hurt me. they drain me. they make me tired, dizzy and give me headaches. they keep me up all night. my will power is nonexistant. i just can't trust myself. they keep me from what i'm meant to do, what i'm meant to be. this isn't me. they're just an escape. i'm not creative like other dreamers. i'm not special. i'm just an addict. this was never meant for me, i used it as an escape and it just stuck.

 

i'm just so frustrated with myself. i feel guilty and ashamed and tired. so tired. i wish i would just do what i know i should. but i can't. i just always end up daydreaming instead. i compare myself to my ideal self and when i do that i feel all hopeless and dd. i don't know.

 

i'm sorry i complain so much you guys. i know it's rough all around. i just have to let it out sometimes.

[Amanda Lynne]

Thanks for all your comments you guys, nice to see y'all can relate. Well not nice that you feel this way, but it's good not to be alone:p

[Jennifer]

Amanda, I'm pretty sure we can all relate...But here's what I tell myself after I daydream: You have a disorder. At least you don't have mood swings and lash out on people like Bipolar Disorder. It's just daydreaming, and it's not hurting anyone. (No offense intended to anyone with Bipolar Disorder or any other disorder on here...I was just using Bipolar Disorder as an example.)

[LordXephere]

Amanda, I can relate 100% with what you said in your post. I feel the same way. I'm constantly living in my head because of my MD and I feel like it has caused me to be unproductive, unfulfilled, unfocused, and unaccomplished. I have done nothing with my life except daydream and fantasize. Even in my spare time when I feel like I should be doing something more productive with myself, all I ever want to do is put my iPod on and daydream to music. I can barely even put my daydreams down on paper.

My family worries about me because I cannot focus my attention on anything in real life unless it is something that inspires my daydreams (which in my case it's anime, philosophy, or anything fantasy related). They are also upset at me for not even knowing what I want to do in life. I feel like I have no idea what I would like doing even though I daydream about myself being successful in multiple careers as an actor, writer, musician, and broadcaster. It's almost like I've gotten so deep into fake fantasy world that I have no interest in this one even though I know that I really want to be successful in life and make some kind of difference. Unfortunately, my family is starting to think otherwise since I'm not really making an effort to do actually DO anything in life instead of dreaming about it.

I feel like my daydreaming is ruining my life and even though I keep telling myself that I have to stop and do something else, I still end up doing it anyway. 

Send me a message if you want to talk.

[Skylar Grey]

No reason for an apology. I know i can relate to this very well. While its happenning it seems like such a thrill. But then afterwards i think, what am i doing with my life...

[Sarah]

This is how I feel most of the times. In my DD I can do what I want but when it comes to reality I can't do simple things like get myself a job. I have the confidence in my DD but when it comes to reality I'm so shy I cant even talk to people and when I do I don't even make eye contact with them.

Most nights I don't even sleep properly and if I do its all broken sleep because if I wake up I'll end up DDing. Today I DD for like 3 hours in the morning and I still have a headache and its the afternoon now. I feel sick and dizzy, like I'm going to fall if I get up. I tell myself not to do it again, look at how you feel but I forget it all when it goes and because its so addicting I just end up DDing again.

Its good to let it all out, if you ever want to talk just drop me a message.

[xCutemintix]

Don't be sorry, we all need to let it out.

I can completely relate to your frustrations. Making so many plans and not being able to carry them through, always failing to meet my own expectations, constantly fighting it because I know I can be so much more...

It can have such a draining effect, especially on your self-esteem. I'm afraid that things will never get better for me, and that reason I'm not getting anywhere is because I've already reached my potential.

If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to ask, It's very therapeutic :)