Weight loss and gain

[Sally]

So, I know from my own experience of daydreaming, that just a few of us are going to be carrying a few extra lbs, because, hey, our bodies are simply a vessel to continue our day dreams in, so why should we care? Ive gained like loads of weight being trapped in those day long daydreams where you dont do anything. I own a Tv but ive never bothered to work out how to use it, because i just stare at a wall most of the time. Or the TV when its off (the irony!) . Like when Im in the gym, I'm too dreamy to be motivated.

Although, once i became a health addict and like literally, with the same addictive force as this maladaptive i just lived dieting and gym and yes i looked like a gym head and not a dreamer. But it was swapping one addiction for another, and i was still maladaptive, just this really boring rotten version where everybody just talks about diets all of the time or something. And thn the real maladaptive came and ate me up again and i just gained even more weight than i was originally.

When i was young, i used to loose serious amounts of weight and i had no idea how i was doing it. Back then i was very seriously suffering, and i experienced many many, out of body experiences that were disassociative. I used to feel more like a cloud than a human. In the UK we go by stones to measure our weight in,and 14lb = 1 stone. i lost a stone in 1 week. A few years before that i was consciously anorexic i am well aware that the maximum i can loose per day is 1lb through not eating anything. and that takes real willpower and dedication, alongside a big dose of just really deprived low esteem. At around this time when i 'miraculously' lost a whole stone, i was also obsessed with trampolining which is a huge calorie burner. My pulse rate was the lowest one of the UK's major hospitals had ever seen, i had like 6doctors around my bed once just in awe of like my resting pulse.

Was i so wrapped up in maladaptive that i was like, trampolining like crazy and not eating?? Almost like a heroin addict looses loads of weight , or alcoholics because there no longer bothered by basic human functions like food any more, just obsessed with their drug that literally nothing else matters to them?? Ive both gained and lost enormous amounts of weight.

Ive undergone 5 surgeries to remove loose skin. And i went and i not only proved my self mentally competent to the dr's, they love me, they think I can endure anything (probably can to be fair) . the whole time i was laughing to myself though, i thought 'if only they knew, if only they knew about the madness'. But like, even i couldnt pinpoint what 'the madness' was. I'm not mentally competent enough to make those kind of decisions though. So now ive gone through all that surgery, for nothing because i just dont really inhibit my own body that much. Maybe a few times more so since the surgeries i suppose....but not enough to justify it. I saw a psychotherapist for a year, he said the nearest he could come up with was that was wrong with me was 'the complete opposite to autism'.

Anyway, whats everyone elses experience, do you experience such a disassocative split? have you ever jumped on the scales and thought 'what in the mother of god', because youve been stolen away by dreams???

anyway, thats what my armlift looks like guys!!! no idea how i gained or lost the weight. hospital have never seen a recovery like it either. The more i think about MD , im like, what if its the opposite of an ailment, what if its like super power?? LOL :) maybe not ey

[Sally]

In November I had high blood pressure, but now I have low blood pressure. But, I'm too in my own little dream to know what it is that I'm doing that has had this impact???? At the moment I kind of by enlarge eat 'the right' things, but just in the wrong quantities.... like double what I should eat. I jut have a very messy kind of life, I dont think I've ever had a day where I've eaten 3 normal square meals. I think its a loop though that the dysfunctional behaviour feeds the daydreaming... diets dont work for me at all. I cant use the 'willpower' method to achieve anything, but I can update the programming. Like I've recently become vegan with very little effort or thought, and quit drinking. I'm reading Allen Carr's loose weight easily to control my portion sizes.

[Kali_Maa]

I have had eating disorder since I have 16, alternating periods of being extremely thin with other periods (longer ones) in which I gain a lot of weight. Now I´m in a very fat period in coincidence with a very "furious" daydreaming period. When my daydreaming becomes worst I start eating compulsively and I don´t care about my health or the way I look, due to the fact that I´m not "here", in the real world. Of course, my alter ego, my daydreaming version of me has a perfect body, perfect health, a more beautiful face, self confident, attractive, the opposite of the real me.

[Sally]

Im the opposite at the moment but i used to be like that. At the moment im just trying to take control and gain routine.

[Tinkerbell]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I have actually found that  when I have long periods of daydreaming, I don't eat. I'm so lost in my head that I ignore everything even hunger pains I can't feel.