Venting rant blog part 2

[Jenna]

Jut like the last blog, this is another venting blog. If you hate drama and venting, don't read. Also I am not soon this for attention, I just really need to vent. Thank you for reading or leaving.

I read a quote today that went something like "sometimes te person who tries to please and make everyone else happy, I'd the loneliest." That quote really made me think about myself, I love helping and pleasing everyone else...but not me. Most people when in pain and trouble if the are religious would pray to God for help, I don't even do that. I only pray for others and never myself. I also noticed that my charter is always helpin others but neve herself too. Hmm I wonder if it could be showing me what I am like inside. She resorts to things like hurting herself and hides her pain. I've thought about hurting myself before but thankfully had poetry to save me and I try my hardest to hide the pain and help others. It is painful in a way, not having anyone really to help you. Also you can't even help yourself because you cause a lot of it. :/ I have also been feeling so guilty the past few days, I constantly feel alienated from everyone. Even my family, "Friends" and best friend. It makes me feel guilty that sometimes this feeling make me not want to talk or hangout with them. I feel horrible feeling this way especially about best friend who I can tell almost everything. :/ I'm too nervous to sleep, lately I have been having the weirdest dreams and most if the time a lot of people die and I wake up before I am about to die or die as soon as I am about to wake up. :/ My thyroid is messed up badly yet it keeps showing up normal, I have almost all the symptons. Sigh, I don't think thyroid issues can cause this many issues. :/ I should be happy but O guess I feel like nobody cares about me, except maybe my best fried and parents of course. I wonder if I died right here right now, who and how many would notice and cry. Sigh, I Am takin things for granted. I have a amazing house, I'm not neglected, I at least have some friends, I'm not bullied, but yet I'm so freaking sad. Sigh, thank you for reading and I just really needed to vent.

[Jenna]

Thanks Emily and I hope so too.

[Emily]

"I have a amazing house, I'm not neglected, I at least have some friends, I'm not bullied, but yet I'm so freaking sad". Story of my life. Love how you " " "Friends". I do that too. I feel for ya, Jenna. Know that I would certainly care if you were to drop dead this instant. I've been thinking about the same thing lately, and it sounds like we're on the same page. I'm happy to be here to hear you vent, we all need to, and there's no shame in it.

I hope your thyroid improves and you feel better. Hang onto that poetry :)