Told the doctor!

[Wish Upon A Wish]

--------------------------Ramble warning!------------ I ramble in this.

 

Okay, a while back I thought I had minor depression, turns out I had glandular fever (by the time I did the blood test it was actually gone, I'd recently had it) and he gave me some sleeping pills, because I had trouble sleeping (that was the main problem), and some zinc, because the insomnia could've been caused by lack of it but they don't test for that, and, after (nearly) two months, when the prescriptions were supposed to run out, I went back to the doc, but this time, I actually knew about MD, so I brought along tonnes of paper about it (Cordellia's paper, Cynthia's study, and a think I quickly typed up (okay, I lie, copy-pasted and slightly edited) something with known symptoms and possible treatments) and he had a quick look over them and kept them to properly read, but he looked at the symptoms and thinks it fits me tonnes better than the depression, and that MD sounds like it could exist and stuff so yeah, it went quite well actually.

He suggested I try to keep my mind busy, rather than try the drugs* but there's stuff I'm doing in the holidays, just little things here and there (Xmas, go to dad's, new years eve/day, get home, move, and two climbing workshops) so I decided to have a look at volunteering for the SPCA (I wanted to a while ago but I wasn't 16 enough. I am now though.) but applications are closed now, but it also suggested a few other places, so tomorrow I shall email Willowbank Wildlife Reserve (http://www.willowbank.co.nz/  if you're interested in what it is) and see if I could volunteer in January. And before that, I shall re-attempt Christmas shopping (Dad/big bro down, rest of family to go, and some friends) and spend most of my time on the computer (or a little off) reading, and sleeping, and a little with friends, and maybe with my brother. My sis might manage to drag me out of the house too. 

 

*There aren't official treatments, but apparently fluvoxamine has helped people, but I'd rather not rely on drugs if I can help it.

I don't know how everyone else has it, but with our exams at school, we have some done in class, called internals, and some done at the end of year out of class, called externals. There are also some called mock exams, or mid-year exams, which are a practice for end-of-year externals (and if we can't do the externals for some reason, illness, injury etc, we can get the mock marks instead) and so I'm thinking, if I can't quite control the MD much more by then, I'll ask about trying the drugs, so hopefully I'll concentrate better for next year (NCEA lvl2, I think America (or England?) has GCSEs, which are similar to NCEA. I think. Either way, I want to effing pass, not quite with level one marks only, or so year 12 again.) 

[J Noland]

I've been on antidepressants before but they make me totally indifferent to everything. They didn't stop the md either but they work differently on everyone so maybe you'll get some quality control over your thoughts. I was on Prozac (I think it is fluoxetine), welbutrin, and lexapro - not all at the same time though! The welbutrin didn't seem to do anything at all. The Prozac and lexapro both made me just blah, never sad or happy, no enthusiasm to do anything but I didn't care either. I'd sleep constantly if I sat down at home but I never felt rested. Trying to avoid dds while studying is so hard! I went through it in school and college, hang in there!